Ever have a patient comment on his lack of size? - page 5

I felt so embarrassed. :imbar I had to cath this man who was in his 40's, he ended up having to go for emergency surgery, he was in agonizing abd pain with a perfed bowel. When I went to cath him he managed to mentioned that... Read More

  1. 0
    Quote from 58flyer
    That approach might work for some guys. For others it won't. As one other poster pointed out, such innocent comments might be construed the wrong way. To counsel a patient in that way might overstep the boundaries of nursing, unless it is agreed that counselling is part of the nurses treatment options. I can't see how it would be in the OP's case. A simple, "I didn't notice" might be the best response overall.

    Also, guys don't like to be reminded how many penises a nurse sees. Like it makes anyone an expert.
    That was my feeling on the matter. I wanted to be nonchalant about the subject and pretend like it was something I never really pay attention to. I'm not particularly curious about this, and avoid glancing 'down there' whenever possible, but definately can't help but noticing at times, esp anatomical extremes.

    Incidentally, I've had the patient again, I did perceive some intangible oddness about him, and something odd about the relationship between him and his mother, now that he's feeling better. He struck me as a social drop out, conspiracy theorist type by some of his comments, with OCD overtones. He started doing his own ostomy bag emptying on his own, so he was beginning to cope with this alteration in eliminatory function and body appearance. No more comments on lack of size, his foley was out and he was voiding on his own.

    You mentioned the nurses station, I just wanted to comment here that I didn't share this story about his insecurities in report, it seemed very personal.

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  2. 0
    :yeahthat:
    Quote from aeauooo
    Yes I have, but the comments about his penis didn't stop there - 'nuf said?

    I don't know. It sounds like he may be looking for something more from you, but not necessarily with regard to his perceived lack of endowment. It sounds like he has some serious self-esteem issues, so I would approach it on that level.

    You might just matter-of-factly say something to the effect of, "you look average to me," and move on very quickly to self-esteem issues.

    Good luck!
  3. 0
    The first male patient I cathed, had a bladder tumor blocking the foley. My preceptor finished putting it in there. He screamed and cried, and it was fairly jarring for me as well, particularly since he started crying the next day when I went into his room. Not like we were going to go through that again, but anyhow. We didn't know he had a tumor in there, they found that out after I went home. There hasn't been another one quite as traumatic as that.

    Everyone's got their umm... thing that will be useful to distract them, sometimes you do well and sometimes you don't. Education works for some, humor for others (not about the equipment, find something else that's funny) and completely unrelated conversation for others. One ole feller did remark on size and I had to go and say the dumbest thing that came to mind: "it's okay, size don't matter." (Then I thought, oh WTH didja say that for!!!) The patient may have been demented but he had enough sense to say "well what are you staring at it for?" I will not ever say that again to a patient. Eek.
  4. 0
    I've heard this comment enough times to realize it's going to happen from time. As a male, I took it as the person was confiding in me and that's how I handle it. Something to the effect "Don't be so hard on yourself, there is no need for that." Working in LTC, the subject has never came up again with the same resident (usually rehab folks).

    As another poster noted, there is a condition called Small Penis Syndrome that involves males that fall within the normal range, but have body image issues that are real to them but have no basis in reality.

    In any case, I wanted to convey these comments are heard by males also. It may not necessarily be directed toward female nurses to make them uncomfortable. Any other guys out there have similar experiences?
  5. 0
    Quote from jlsRN
    That was my feeling on the matter. I wanted to be nonchalant about the subject and pretend like it was something I never really pay attention to. I'm not particularly curious about this, and avoid glancing 'down there' whenever possible, but definately can't help but noticing at times, esp anatomical extremes.

    Incidentally, I've had the patient again, I did perceive some intangible oddness about him, and something odd about the relationship between him and his mother, now that he's feeling better. He struck me as a social drop out, conspiracy theorist type by some of his comments, with OCD overtones. He started doing his own ostomy bag emptying on his own, so he was beginning to cope with this alteration in eliminatory function and body appearance. No more comments on lack of size, his foley was out and he was voiding on his own.

    You mentioned the nurses station, I just wanted to comment here that I didn't share this story about his insecurities in report, it seemed very personal.
    If you didn't share this story about his insecurities in report because
    you say it seemed very personal, then why are you sharing them here.
    I really have to wonder what you real motive is for starting this
    thread. Seems odd to me!
  6. 1
    Quote from 58flyer
    I only hope you did not say that to an actual patient.
    Yes I did. I was embaressed and he thought it was funny...
    Why?
    aeauooo likes this.
  7. 0
    Quote from chadash
    Yes I did. I was embaressed and he thought it was funny...
    Why?
    Whoops, spelled embarrassed incorrectly...that's embarrassing...
  8. 0
    Quote from chadash
    Yes I did. I was embaressed and he thought it was funny...
    Why?
    Seems to me if he apologized to you for being small and you accepted his apologies then you are agreeing that he was small. Sorta like you saying to someone "sorry about my fat hiney" and they say "apologies accepted."

    (not saying you have a fat hiney, I was just using that as an example)
  9. 2
    Quote from Indy
    The first male patient I cathed, had a bladder tumor blocking the foley. My preceptor finished putting it in there. He screamed and cried, and it was fairly jarring for me as well, particularly since he started crying the next day when I went into his room. Not like we were going to go through that again, but anyhow. We didn't know he had a tumor in there, they found that out after I went home. There hasn't been another one quite as traumatic as that. ..........
    Yikes Indy! That was jarring for me to read!

    Who was advocating for this patient? Certainly not the nursing staff! The poor patient screaming and crying should have been a powerful clue that something was definitely wrong. You might claim dumb because you were new, but the preceptor should have got his/her license revoked.

    I've worked around nurses who claimed to be always able to do the difficult cath. They could cath anybody. Sure you can if you just ram it through. I'm sure pride was the motivating factor for pressing on when the prudent thing to do was to back off and call for a uro consult. I wonder how many patients needlessly suffer because of somebody's ego. :angryfire

    There is a wonderful invention called anesthesia. Patients shouldn't suffer pain needlessly when alternatives are readily available.

    I wonder if that patient's memory of that experience carried over into his approach to his future healthcare needs???
    danissa and squeakykitty like this.
  10. 2
    Quote from 58flyer
    Yikes Indy! That was jarring for me to read!

    Who was advocating for this patient? Certainly not the nursing staff! The poor patient screaming and crying should have been a powerful clue that something was definitely wrong. You might claim dumb because you were new, but the preceptor should have got his/her license revoked.

    I've worked around nurses who claimed to be always able to do the difficult cath. They could cath anybody. Sure you can if you just ram it through. I'm sure pride was the motivating factor for pressing on when the prudent thing to do was to back off and call for a uro consult. I wonder how many patients needlessly suffer because of somebody's ego. :angryfire

    There is a wonderful invention called anesthesia. Patients shouldn't suffer pain needlessly when alternatives are readily available.

    I wonder if that patient's memory of that experience carried over into his approach to his future healthcare needs???
    There really isn't any excuse to ram a foley in and cause pain. I thought every nurse was taught to call the Dr. if the foley won't go in, and don't ram it in.
    danissa and 58flyer like this.


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