Ever had an ex-boyfriend, or someone you didn't like as a patient?

  1. Hello Everyone!

    I'm a pre-nursing student. Here's my question. Have any of you ever had an ex-boyfriend, or someone you didn't like, as a patient? If so, how did you handle this? Or what if that patient ( who knows you) didn't want you to be their nurse? What would be the proper way to handle this situation in the most professional manner? I'm just curious. I would really love to read what you have to say and get some advice. Thank you!
    Last edit by preciousbaby621 on Jun 15, '07
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  2. 24 Comments

  3. by   TazziRN
    Ethically we should not be caring for someone that we have a history with, like ex's. In that case it's expected and understood that the nurse will step back and not be assigned to that pt. If there is a personality conflict the nurse and pt have the right to ask for reassignment but it may be possible to switch.
  4. by   traumaRUs
    Totally agree with Tazzi - you should ask to be reassigned.
  5. by   caroladybelle
    Had a rather notorious white supremacist, from a looooong family history of being active in racist politics.

    I tried to decline the patient. Unfortunately, due to the cultural and social makeup of the unit, I was one of the few nurses that had to care for him on the floor.

    You see, I "look" white, while being Jewish. Many of the nurses were not caucasian and had many more problems with the patient's views. Despite the fact that the views held of Jews were as bad or worse.

    The irony was, the patient was in a famous teaching hospital and the attendings/fellows/residents on the case due to the specialty, were Jewish, Arabic/Muslim, or Asian.

    I doubt if ANY of the MDs on the case qualified as "white" per the group's definition.

    One of the groups that he belonged to had actually threatened my family (my father was the first police officer on scene of an racially based sexual assault and testified against a member of the group), severaal decades ago when I was in high school.
  6. by   DutchgirlRN
    I've run into this maybe twice in 32 years. I told the supervisor and they are more than glad to re-assign. They don't want problems either and it wouldn't be fair to the patient.

    I can easily and respectfully care for patients, that I don't personally know, who I just don't like for whatever reason.
  7. by   banditrn
    I was assigned my ex-DIL's, father's, long term girlfriend once. I didn't recognize the last name, but recognized her as soon as I walked into the room. We had a nice chat - I did NOT tell her I was her nurse - and went straight to my supervisor and asked to be re-assigned, which I was. It would not have been a good situation.
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    I live in a small town - I know almost everyone I take care of and some of them I don't like.

    If there is a problem, we just reassign ourselves.

    steph
  9. by   puggymae
    As the only RN on night shift I once had to take care of my mother-in-law!
    Although I was apprehensive she was glad I was taking care of her.

    On another occasion I point blank refused to care for my ex-husbands new wife! Somebody else took care of her (and I took my patient assigment on a completely different hall).

    Our hospital is a small town hospital and there are patients everyday that I know on a personal basis - it usually doesn't bother them or me. Usually there is another staff member that will take over those patients if it will be a problem.
  10. by   arual56
    Quote from preciousbaby621
    Hello Everyone!

    I'm a pre-nursing student and a proud member of Allnurses website. Here's my question. Have any of you ever had an ex-boyfriend, or someone you didn't like, as a patient? If so, how did you handle this? Or what if that patient ( who knows you) didn't want you to be their nurse? What would be the proper way to handle this situation in the most professional manner? I'm just curious. I would really love to read what you have to say and get some advice. Thank you!

    I agree with most everyone else. We have a policy at our hospital that you are not allowed to take care of relatives or ex-relatives. Our risk management figures that it is a law suit waiting to happen. Even if you don't do anything wrong, there is just too much liability. I would hate to be in the position of caring for my ex. My favorite way of explaining to others how much I don't like a facility is to tell them, "I wouldn't send my ex husband there, and I don't like him."
  11. by   RNperdiem
    This is where you let your charge nurse know. Assignments are flexible things. If a family or patient tells the charge nurse they don't want someone as their nurse, someone else is assigned. Patient makes women feel uncomfortable- he gets a male nurse. If a patient is non English speaking- they get the nurse that can speak their language(if possible).
    There will always be patients you don't like; just give good care and move on.
  12. by   Dalzac
    Before I was a nurse I was a CCU tech. For some unknown reason the 3-11 charge nurse hated me and made My life hell. One night she gave me my assingment of 6 pt in a 12 bed unit, 3 of the pts. were q 15 min vs. This was before bp machines and I had to do the hospitals EKGs preop and in ER. The other 2 techs offered to help me and she wouldn't let them and to make a long story short I quit right there. I had heard that after I quit she started in on one of the other techs and the LPN that worked with her(team nursing) and they all turned in their notice, so instead of losing all the staff they let her go. This was in the 70's.
    A couple of years ago she had a MI and was put in my unit, I traded assignments with another nurse. I answered her call light a couple of times. I just felt sorry for her, She had no friends and even her children wouldn't come to see her. All I could think was it was Karma.
  13. by   ShayRN
    I took an admission one night and walked in to find my best friend's stepmother in the bed. She was on the phone and said, Oh my God, I am going to die, they sent Lisa's friend in to take care of me. Dead serious. PUHLEEZE!!!! I turned on my heel and walked out of the room, they found someone else to take care of her without any problems, I just took the next admit.
  14. by   ChocoholicRN
    I'm not a nurse just yet, still working as a tech, but I have still taken care of patients who I knew more personally. One was my close friends uncle. I didn't even know he was in the hospital, let alone on my floor. I walked out of the room next to his, saw his sister (my friends mom) in the hall outside his room with the rest of the family, allllll of whom I knew. Anyways, when he was readmitted to the hospital several months later for a reversal surgery, he not only requested to be on my floor, but specifically asked for me as his tech. I had no problem with this, and the nurses were very grateful. Apparently he gave the nurses a hard time and was a bit of a pain in the butt, but he would listen to whatever I told him!! I'm in a town where, although its not small, everyone still knows everyone. I have never felt uncomfortable taking care of someone I know, but if the situation came up I would not hesitate to ask someone else to take that patient.

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