Ethical dilemma

[Sadie04]

This week I took care of a 20 yo female with C1 and 2 fx resulting from an MVA. She was driving with 3 passengers and had a blood alcohol of .20 She'll be wearing an Aspen collar for months and has a lot of pain, but will recover. I later found out that my brother's best friend from his childhood was killed in this accident. He was 23 and had a 3 month old child. My brother is pretty upset and shaken and is going to the funeral tomorrow. The victim was a good kid; he made a bad choice by getting in the car, but certainly didn't deserve to die. I know I shouldn't be, and would never show it, but I'm angry at this girl for drinking and driving. I'm not sure if she was told about the fatality, but all she talked about was how unfair it was that she couldn't go outside to smoke! She was in a close observation ICU step-down unit! The victim's parents were at the scene when the vehicle caught fire, because he was pinned in the car he burned to death and they witnessed it I'm feeling bad that I have feelings of anger toward her, but the whole thing is just so tragic

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

I am sorry for your brother's loss. My prayers to the young man's parents, family and friends.

Now, you do not need to be caring for this girl. In fact you need to distance yourself from her. Being angry is only human but don't put yourself in a position that would lead to disclosure, or poor care for this patient.

[leslie :-D]

i find your feelings refreshingly honest and very normal.

although it was drilled into us 'not to judge', as long as it doesn't affect your nursing care and you can remain distanced then you need not feel guilty.

i too feel great rage towards drunk drivers that kill others and ruin the lives of the survivors.

this is a horrifically tragic event and felt anger when i read your story, as well as very saddened.

if you feel that you are getting too emotional, then talk to your nm about excusing yourself from this assignment.

wishing you peace.

leslie

[Sadie04]

i find your feelings refreshingly honest and very normal.

although it was drilled into us 'not to judge', as long as it doesn't affect your nursing care and you can remain distanced then you need not feel guilty.

i too feel great rage towards drunk drivers that kill others and ruin the lives of the survivors.

this is a horrifically tragic event and felt anger when i read your story, as well as very saddened.

if you feel that you are getting too emotional, then talk to your nm about excusing yourself from this assignment.

wishing you peace.

leslie

Leslie, thanks so much for your words of comfort, you are so kind. This has been on my mind for days, and I needed to share it with someone, but had to respect this pt's confidentiality. Although I love being a nurse, it's situations like this that make me wonder why things happen the way they do in life. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense... Fortunately I had yesterday off and was put in a different assignment today, although I did see this pt walking in the hallway and had to look away and act busy.

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

Sadie, you are only human. From what you describe, if she were my patient, and I knew what you know, it would be hard for me to resist the urge not to punch her lights out! Especially if she did know about his death. Then again, if she did, maybe she really needed that cigarette.

Even though I am sure you are able to control your feelings and seperate it from your work, why stress yourself so? Explain the situation to your manager and ask to not be assigned to her.

[jschut, BSN, RN]

I agree with the above posters to ask to be removed. And I wish you peace and may God bless you with love....

[jemb]

Wow, I'd have trouble working on the same floor where she was a patient under those circumstances! Definitely tell your nurse manager about the situation you are in, and request that you not be assigned to care for her.

I'm so sorry about your brother's friend. That is so sad, and even more horrific that his family watched him die.

I hope that girl is being prosecuted for his death.