Embarrasing illnesses - page 3

generally speaking, i work in environment that caters mostly to male patients at least 96% of our patients are men. having said that, last summer one of my regular patients, you know the type i'm... Read More

  1. Visit  nerdtonurse? profile page
    1
    Okay, I swear this one happened. Heard it from a friend of mine who was an EMT in Midtown Atlanta.

    They pick up a guy who's in excruciating pain, his partner is with him. The patient has burns all around his anus.

    They were letting a gerbil/hamster/some little critter run around "inside" for the thrill, via a habitrail tube. Well, the critter gets busy going way too far in the other direction, stops moving, presumably suffocated. Partner can't see him or feel him, so he flicks his Bic.

    The poor dead hamster goes flying out as a little furry cannonball of fire. The guy had serious burns and had to go to Augusta.

    And yes, my EMT friend reported them for cruelty to animals.
    GrnTea likes this.
  2. Visit  GitanoRN profile page
    0
    Quote from nerdtonurse?
    okay, i swear this one happened. heard it from a friend of mine who was an emt in midtown atlanta.

    they pick up a guy who's in excruciating pain, his partner is with him. the patient has burns all around his anus.

    they were letting a gerbil/hamster/some little critter run around "inside" for the thrill, via a habitrail tube. well, the critter gets busy going way too far in the other direction, stops moving, presumably suffocated. partner can't see him or feel him, so he flicks his bic.

    the poor dead hamster goes flying out as a little furry cannonball of fire. the guy had serious burns and had to go to augusta.

    and yes, my emt friend reported them for cruelty to animals.
    as i'm reading this i can't stop lol...however, i'm glad that your emt friend contacted the incident to the proper authorities.

    p.s. people don't cease to amaze me at times.
  3. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    1
    "neither do little blue pills and red bull as a group of teenage males found out the hard way. "

    the .....hard way? mmmmmmppphhhh...::hands over mouth::

    i think i've told this story before, but here it is again. i lived in a city where there was a great public fountain shaped like a half-sphere, studded all over with pipes that randomly shot out water in sync with classical music. the whole thing was surrounded by a sort of sloping enclosure, so you could sit there on a hot day and listen to music and get cooling mist all over. it really was nice.
    then one day the icu i was in got an admission from a woman who, under the influence of something that makes you do stupid things, had squatted over one of them and waited for her note. alas, the force of the water went right past her cervix, through her abdominal contents, and tore her diaphragm (the one she breathed with). that was one heckuva repair.
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  4. Visit  CelticGoddess profile page
    3
    In my former life as a rad tech, I had seen several bizarre things. My two favorites were having to x-ray a guys penis because he had stuck a fishhook in his urethra. He never did explain why he did it.

    The other was an elderly lady who had dementia. She was having abdominal pain, a foul odor, presumably from her urine. I did a KUB and we were rather shocked when the film showed her dentures safely tucked in her vagina.
  5. Visit  RN in training profile page
    1
    Quote from backtowork
    Had a patient come in to the ER years ago with an acute abdomen and after a KUB was found to have Barbie doll heads all the way through his small and large intestines he had been swallowing and defecating for a thrill. When asked if that was quite expensive as Barbies were about 20 bucks a piece at the time, he replied "not really..I just wash them off and swallow the same ones over and over again". (sorry..hope you were not eating breakfast while reading this).

    Also had a female patient come in with a seriously damaged, inflamed colosotmy stoma who reported her husband had been "doing his business in there". Talk about a patient education need!
    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    DizzyLizzyNurse likes this.
  6. Visit  leslie :-D profile page
    3
    Quote from Guttercat
    The depths of depravity that humans will sink to never ceases to astound me.

    I can usually find "black humor" in just about anything we medical professionals encounter, but animal abuse, and abuse of other people I can find absolutely no humor in.
    yep, totally agree, gc.
    my eyes are filling up when reading about these sick idiots and their sacrificial animals.
    you can be as perverted as you want...
    just don't cause pain/suffering/death to other living beings.
    i seriously can't handle this type of ****.

    leslie
    Nurse Leigh, fuzzywuzzy, and Guttercat like this.
  7. Visit  Guttercat profile page
    0
    Quote from grntea
    "neither do little blue pills and red bull as a group of teenage males found out the hard way. "

    squatted over one of them and waited for her note. .

    thanks for making me do a spit take with my cup of coffee.

    i have not read a funnier one-liner in a very long time.
  8. Visit  Cat_LPN profile page
    0
    Quote from FlyingScot
    Man and dog. Man got stuck. 'nuff said.
    I have to ask... how did the guy get 'stuck'?

    I've heard of male dogs getting stuck while mating, but it's because their penis swells. I don't understand how a man got stuck and had to call 911.
    Either way, I hope he got jail time.
  9. Visit  leslie :-D profile page
    4
    Quote from Cat_LPN
    I have to ask... how did the guy get 'stuck'?

    I've heard of male dogs getting stuck while mating, but it's because their penis swells. I don't understand how a man got stuck and had to call 911.
    a man could feasibly get stuck, if he penetrated a very small dog, e.g., chihuahua.
    (oh gawd, sometimes i hate people.)

    leslie
  10. Visit  MomRN0913 profile page
    1
    Poor guy was taking a dump in the woods camping and a spider it his scrotum. It blew up HUGE. I felt really bad for the dude.
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  11. Visit  GitanoRN profile page
    2
    Quote from rn in training
    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    i'll 2nd that emotion
    DizzyLizzyNurse and Guttercat like this.
  12. Visit  Cul2 profile page
    0
    Isn't this interesting. All the stories are about men. I guess no females ever
    come into the ER for any embarrassing conditions. Or is this just an example
    of why its unhealthy for one gender to dominate a profession. There's an old
    boys club -- and there's an old girls club as well.
  13. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    0
    oh, don't be like that. the old hoohah stories are pretty funny too. i really liked the one about the dentures stuck up in there. maybe you missed that one. i once had an old lady who came in and was found to have an intravaginal potato-- which had sprouted some. she had used it (or one of its many relatives) for years as a pessary, sort of an old-time remedy. if she hadn't forgotten this one for awhile, she'd probably be doing fine with it.

    for the record, i've seen a bobby pin up a urethra (she said she "sat on it") and a long, long-forgotten tampon that was determined to be the source of the, um, problem. i've also heard of widely dilated urethras discovered in the course of infertility workup...yep, that's why she wasn't getting pregnant, and btw, seemed to spill a little urine every time she had sex.

    better?

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