Doesn't matter where u go

  1. I was a travel nurse for 14 years, then tried the staff thing. Got fired, went back to traveling got fired from three travel jobs. For calling in sick. The panic and depression have me and won't let go. No matter what the doc gives me. A "friend" called me from one of the hospitals I was a traveler at and begged me to come, said oh you will feel better here you loved it here, as I did. SO, off we go. NOPE, didn't help. Now I am at the Employee Assistance Program seeing a psy and a md and a counselor. Is it helping? Nope. Ran out of sick time, no money. Need dog food. Pulled up all my courage, signed up with a local agency to just do one day at another hospital. NOPE. Couldnt' do it. My question is what do we do when we are so understaffed you know things are missed and you see them and you inform your manager and NOTHING is done. One of my labor patients, when I came on duty was found in HELLP and the day shift had done nothing. NOTHING. She died, as did her infant. You come home and hug a tree and cry. What else can you do? I am so toast on all of it. If I were brave enough I would tell my psy that. Then I would wind up in a padded room. Then who would feed the dogs? I have tried other areas of nursing, it doesn't help. In 28 years I have done CCU, ER, NeoIUC, L&D, postop, preop,PediICU, Peds and Ortho. :stone
    Any hope out there?
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   bargainhound
    I just have to ask if you tried medication of any kind to help cope?
    I am not trying to be sarcastic, etc....I truly know there are meds that can help with panic and depression.
    I see you have worked high stress areas......I would like to think there are areas of nursing that could
    be helpful......
    In any case, God bless you.
    Last edit by bargainhound on May 1, '04
  4. by   gij1
    Nursing does not seem to be working for you. You sound like you have given it your all. Are there any other professions that interest you? Follow what brings you joy.
    Keep getting help for your depression. It is always darkest before the dawn. The right medication can do wonders.
  5. by   cannoli
    I don't know what to say. Hospital nursing is very stressful.

    I think I would think about getting into another line of work, if you are unable to find a less stressful nursing job.

    God bless.
  6. by   sphinx
    Personally having sufferred from some pretty severe depression (I have bipolar type 2) even been fired, like you, for too much sick time....I can empathize with you.

    Keep getting help, and if you aren't on meds, consider it. There are many, many choices, and if one doesn't help, another may. Keep in mind of course, that they don't solve the problem, they simply help you cope better so *you* can solve the problem be it through counselling, or whatever. Exercise, get outside, eat right.

    Also.....I have to agree with the poster that said hospital nursing is very stressful. I got fired from the one job, and the next, while I loved it, stressed me to the point where I ended up on disability, hospitalized, having ECT, partial hospitalization, and psychiatric rehab. I finally got out of hospital nursing. I'm in homecare now, which is stressful in it's own way, but something I could deal with better. I am currently not doing patient care though, but that is because my career plans are leading me to a different path within nursing.

    Don't give up, there is hope. Feel free to PM me if you want!
  7. by   Blackcat99
    Yes being a nurse is so very stressful. I am tired of all the stress. I sometimes think I should go back to being a CNA. You must take care of your dogs as they are depending on you to be strong and to care for them. Perhaps CNA or some other less stressful job? Good luck
  8. by   barefootlady
    Dear Laloba,

    I am very sorry that depression has crept into your life. This illness is worse than a thief, it not only steals your joy and happiness, but it steals your hope as well. Please do tell the honest truth when speaking with the counselor, it will take courage and committment, to be open and honest, but you may find a whole new aspect of understanding once you have been totally honest. I agree that medication may help you throught some of the rough patches, but please do not think it will be a quick fix. You did not come to this place in your life overnight, so overnight cures are not likely. Maybe home health would be a way for you to be able to have a salary but not be in as stressful a situation. Give some careful and honest thought to what you want to do in the next few months, don't jump in without some honest soul-searching and thought on your part, and a little advice from the counselor. I really wish you the best of luck.
  9. by   Town & Country
    Yes, your psychiatrist is there FOR YOU - tell him or her what is really going on, how you are really feeling and what you are going through. If he or she doesn't know what is going on they won't be able to help you.....
    If I were you I would look at Case Management or something like that until you feel better.
  10. by   Laloba
    Quote from bargainhound
    I just have to ask if you tried medication of any kind to help cope?
    I am not trying to be sarcastic, etc....I truly know there are meds that can help with panic and depression.
    I see you have worked high stress areas......I would like to think there are areas of nursing that could
    be helpful......
    In any case, God bless you.
    You are not being sarcastic. I have tried so many different meds, some help for about a month, then boom nada,zip. Back to fetal.
    but ty for suggestion
  11. by   Laloba
    Quote from sphinx
    Personally having sufferred from some pretty severe depression (I have bipolar type 2) even been fired, like you, for too much sick time....I can empathize with you.

    Keep getting help, and if you aren't on meds, consider it. There are many, many choices, and if one doesn't help, another may. Keep in mind of course, that they don't solve the problem, they simply help you cope better so *you* can solve the problem be it through counselling, or whatever. Exercise, get outside, eat right.

    Also.....I have to agree with the poster that said hospital nursing is very stressful. I got fired from the one job, and the next, while I loved it, stressed me to the point where I ended up on disability, hospitalized, having ECT, partial hospitalization, and psychiatric rehab. I finally got out of hospital nursing. I'm in homecare now, which is stressful in it's own way, but something I could deal with better. I am currently not doing patient care though, but that is because my career plans are leading me to a different path within nursing.

    Don't give up, there is hope. Feel free to PM me if you want!
    How do you get into another field of nursing when all of your past references are bad? I live in an area where most of the people speak spanish only, so homehealth care is pretty much out. Only spanish I know is related to labor and delivery and babies. My husband has suggested another travel assignment, to somewhere that there is water and mountains. I just don't know. Sad thing is I really miss my labor patients. Yes, as far as meds, you name it they have tried it. Short of inpatient shock. Guess that is next.
    Thank you for your reply
  12. by   Laloba
    Quote from Shezam!
    Yes, your psychiatrist is there FOR YOU - tell him or her what is really going on, how you are really feeling and what you are going through. If he or she doesn't know what is going on they won't be able to help you.....
    If I were you I would look at Case Management or something like that until you feel better.
    This may sound stupid, but how does one get into case management? I have put in for a transfer out of Labor and Delivery and they won't let me out. They say I was hired as night charge and put me back on probabtion so I am not ilegable for a transfer. You can't win for losing. Don't you have to be on good standing with the hosptial to do case management?
  13. by   Laloba
    Quote from Shezam!
    Yes, your psychiatrist is there FOR YOU - tell him or her what is really going on, how you are really feeling and what you are going through. If he or she doesn't know what is going on they won't be able to help you.....
    If I were you I would look at Case Management or something like that until you feel better.
    I don't want anyone of you to be scared of this, and I am sure we all of thought of it at least once. And if it werent' for my adult children and dogs I would have already done it. SO I won't, so don't worry. But you know if you tell your psy that you would really just like to go to sleep and not wake up and that you are tired of all of it. He/She would put inpatient in a heart beat. That would drive me nuts, by the time I got out my husband would have lost everything and where would my dogs be? He would be living on the street with the four dogs attached to a shopping cart. I would like to quit, but I can't.
  14. by   Town & Country
    Well, if your facility won't let you transfer, look elsewhere.

    I don't actually know for sure how to get into Case Management, but if you are an RN there are options. School nursing, travel...you say you don't want to be away from your expectant Moms, but it sounds as if that is just what you need! I think you need a change....



    ....if I were you, I'd take the travel job right now, and later on, look at a different place to work besides L & D.

    I think you are burnt out on it and need a change!



    JMO, and good luck to you..

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