Doctors Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018 - page 2

The doctor said WHAT?!?! Some of what is said is jaw-dropping, other phrases uttered are unbelievable while other things heard from the mouths of doctors leave you shaking your head is disbelief for... Read More

  1. by   saskrn
    I was working as a travel RN in a critical access hospital, so I was covering med/surg, OB and the ED. In this case, I was both nurse and patient.

    One night at work I injured my knee (through no fault of my own), and I had to be seen in the ED immediately for workers comp. My knee was obviously injured, with pain, bruising, edema and poor ROM. The on-call MD initially refused to come in and see me in the ED, but he finally arrived because he had no choice. After assessing me, he confirmed that I had indeed injured my leg, and told me not to walk. When I asked him for a note because I wouldn't be able to work, he refused and told me I had to use a wheelchair and go back to work immediately.

    He expected me to finish my travel contract and do patient care from a wheelchair instead of walking.
  2. by   Zinnyme
    I was on night shift in a medical ward, when the doctor on call came in and said '' I'm thinking of sedating all the patients cos I really wanna have some good sleep, what do you think nurse...'', I gave him a very serious and surprise look.
  3. by   Zinnyme
    I was on night shift in a medical ward, when the doctor on call came in and said '' I'm thinking of sedating all the patients cos I really wanna have some good sleep, nurse, what do you think...'', I gave him a very serious and surprise look
  4. by   SilleLu
    Patient in respiratory distress, lungs sounded horrible, RR in the 50s, accessory muscle use, shallow, sat ok on just nasal canula however. Lasix given but patient getting worse by the minute. Resident comes to me and asks for STAT Flonase and saline nasal spray because she thinks she might have some nasal congestion. That was her entire plan of care.

    Luckily the senior resident was around the corner, and transferred patient to ICU on BiPap immediately.
  5. by   Meganlynne26
    I was assisting the ER physician with a fecal impaction and as he removed a large piece of stool from an older gentlemen's rectum he shouted "CONGRATULATIONS IT'S A BOY". I about died but he didn't stop there. He removed another piece and said "WAIT IT'S TWINS!" The patient laughed and it lightened the mood for a very uncomfortable procedure. #DoctorsSaytheDarnestThings
  6. by   nursecolley
    Oh, Lordy, I thought of some more.

    I took a patient in to the ER, and he was severely impacted. When we returned to transport him home, the doctor said, "He should be lighter now!"

    I brought in a GSW to the ER, nine months gestation, who was deceased. The shooter killed himself. Even though we had her to the ER within minutes, the doctor refused to do a C-section, stating he 'didn't want to CREATE a third patient'.
    Last edit by nursecolley on Apr 29 : Reason: clarification
  7. by   Buccaneer8735
    I was running charge on my unit (cardiovascular surgery unit), we had a vascular patient POD 2 from AAA repair. Patients BP was 180-200's, the resident evaluated the patient then turned to me and asked "Can you guys IV push Nitro?" Still laughing to this day
  8. by   RNHeartNurse
    Many doctors at my facility use dictation software to write their notes. While some will proof read, many do not. Sometimes the mistakes are quite comical.

    I was reading the admission history and physical for one of my patients. It stated "patient came to ED complaining of shortness." This was the first time I had heard of height being an emergency condition! In the same note, it said, "Past medical history: unable to attain as patient is amputated." Lol! The patient was intubated.
  9. by   AngelKissed857
    This wasn't to me, but to my husband, but his surgeon- who was also a family friend. Husband has massive lipoma on one scapula. I'd been trying for years to get him to have it removed, but he was a contractor and it didn't bother him, end of story as far as he was concerned. Anyway, he finally decides to see surgeon because it's so big, he can no longer button his shirt- seriously! It was a same day procedure, under local. Husband is quite stoic and doctors hate putting him under due to cardiac hx.
    As surgeon is in the middle of doing his thing, he suddenly asks husband, so do you want a boy or a girl? Husband replies, doesn't matter, as long as it's healthy. The lipoma was 6lbs, 7 oz. Our first child was only 5 lbs 2 oz! I was so grateful when that thing was gone.
  10. by   klcrn1987
    Out of the mouths of "babes"

    ... I was working night turn as the Supervisor in a nursing home and we had a resident that had passed. I called the local hospital to get the order to release the body to the funeral home and I got the brand new resident on call. It was obviously that this was the first call of this kind he had dealt with so I explained that ... 1-No, he didn't have to come to the facility to pronounce, that I could do it. 2-All I needed was his official order "Yes, you may release the body to the funeral home"...he said, "Can you send it to the morgue?" I just couldn't resist and told him... "Well, I tried that once but the kitchen staff really freaked out the last time they walked into the cooler and found a body there!!" TOTAL silence!!!! I softly said... Doc, I'm kidding! OH!!! Oh!! Yes!!! You may release the body!!! Some days it's so fun to tease the puppies!!
  11. by   JJ1023
    As a student nurse doing clinicals on a med surg unit, prior to Hospice, an elderly lady was was reaching end of life. I mentioned a concern I had with a doctor who was of oriental descent. Response was "She old, she die." This has stayed with me for 30 years & I have lovingly told over the years.
  12. by   missmollie
    Patient with frontal lobe injury which makes them prone to do whatever they damn well please. In this case, it was masturbating furiously. Right before doctor rounds, I went into her room. I put her gown back on her, peak out the door, and see the doctors are only one door down. I tuck her in with her blanket to keep her hands out of a certain area. Walking out of the door, I tell the neurosurgeon "I just got her all dressed and she should be good". He nods his head and slips into the room followed by residents. I go to my computer and chart.

    Five minutes later, he is walking behind my chair to the next room. I ask him "Everything okay in there?" He responds with one emphatic word:

    YOLO!
  13. by   kbrn2002
    I had an elderly woman reaching end of life, actively dying and it was not the peaceful process it can be. She was clearly suffering and agitated with it. A call was placed to the MD who proceeded to refuse the requested morphine order as he "didn't want to create an addict." Create an addict??? The poor woman was dying, she clearly wasn't going to live long enough to become addicted to anything. No arguing my case would sway this doctor until I threatened to go over his head and call our medical director for orders, then the order was quite grudgingly given. I did report all this to our DON which must've resulted in the complaint moving up the ladder because not long after that this doctor was no longer on our rounding or on call rotation.

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