Do Not Enter - No Boys Allowed; Setting Boundaries - page 3

by tnbutterfly 10,603 Views | 35 Comments Admin

DO NOT ENTER - NO BOYS ALLOWED!!! As a child, my family took yearly vacations to a location that was more than 1,000 miles away. That meant many long hours in the car, sharing the back seat with my older brother. YUCK!! We... Read More


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    Sounds like an interesting topic to explore, based on the responses given. Have you considered doing a concept analysis of "boundaries?"
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    I have boundry issues, too. I'm also the "can't say no" type. I'm getting better at is, since I'm in a more managerial position. I've had nurses ask me what to do, and when I tell them, they then turn around and ask me to do it for them! I understand they are busy, but I've got work to do, too! But I feel horribly guilty for saying no. And I can never say no to overtime or extra shifts.... Even when they don't want to pay me for it.

    I do have more solid boundaries with it comes to working off the clock, though, because that impacts more than just myself. It means that the company doesn't have to look at the work load for the nurses and the nurses are working too many hours and moral goes down and all of that impacts patient care.
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    Quote from itthybitthythpider
    I have boundry issues, too. I'm also the "can't say no" type. I'm getting better at is, since I'm in a more managerial position. I've had nurses ask me what to do, and when I tell them, they then turn around and ask me to do it for them! I understand they are busy, but I've got work to do, too! But I feel horribly guilty for saying no. And I can never say no to overtime or extra shifts.... Even when they don't want to pay me for it.

    I do have more solid boundaries with it comes to working off the clock, though, because that impacts more than just myself. It means that the company doesn't have to look at the work load for the nurses and the nurses are working too many hours and moral goes down and all of that impacts patient care.

    Regarding the section which I highlighted......are these nurses "repeat offenders"? If so, they are manipulating you. They know you can't say no. They will continue to do this as long as you let them, and that really does no one any favors in the long run.......especially you. The word will get out that you are a softie and others will do the same. You are going to get burned out and your resentment will build up. Saying no is not always wrong. In this case, not saying no is wrong.

    Thanks for posting.
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    Quote from tnbutterfly
    One of the best books I have read on boundaries is called "Boundaries - When to Say Yes, When to Say No". It was written with a biblical perspective of boundaries. Like you, many Christians have been taught it is wrong to say no. This book tells how to take control of your life by setting boundaries.
    LadyJane,

    This is the book, that changed my perspective on boundaries...excellent!

    Peace!
    *LadyJane* and tnbutterfly like this.
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    Quote from Chin up
    LadyJane,

    This is the book, that changed my perspective on boundaries...excellent!

    Peace!

    As I was reading that book, I wondered........Where in the world has this book been??? I should've read this years and years ago!!! I too, have given it or recommended it to several people.

    I think it should be required reading for anyone going into nursing. Because nurses are generally compassionate and caring people.....the kind who take care of everyone but themselves, they are more prone to feel guilty about saying no, more apt to have their boundaries trampled upon.
    *LadyJane* likes this.
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    I ordered this book. I think that if I had better boundaries, then I'd be much less likely to be treated like a doormat, when I have tried to be a good Christian and help everyone. Thanks so much for this recommendation.

    jane
    tnbutterfly likes this.
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    Wonderful!!! Let me know what you think of it after you read it.
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    Quote from Sacred eagle
    Boundary violations. In one month 3 nursing staff were fired and reprimanded by the state nursing board for
    dating patients. Interesting,these 3 nurses were female.

    Dating patients? I think it makes a difference which patients we're talking about.

    I have also heard of a legal limitation that says you should not date them until several months after services have ended.

    It also makes a difference what motivates the the health worker to have a relationship with them.
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    How can I get my co-workers to understand that I DO NOT want to argue with them and I DO NOT want to have a big confrontation or a big production??
    We have work to do, it needs to get done right now and our employer does not pay us to have a big confrontation during the time when we are supposed to be finishing our work.
    I notice also sometimes that I get no credit for complying with their requests. They just want to have a confrontation and an argument. They keep it going even as I carry out their requests.
    Why do they want to have an argument with people who are trying to comply with their obligations?
    I have tried avoiding eye contact, not answering them and agreeing with what they say, and doing what they ask and it does not do any good.
    In a lot of work places, the demonic controllers drive out the good people.
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    *sigh* Unfortunately, going down your list, I feel like my current job as all of these characteristics and more! Nurses who dump all kinds of tasks on me at the end of my shift when I'm trying to go home. Example: having to do stuff like NG tubes etc. I was literally chased down the hall by a coworker when I had my purse and lunchbox in hand to walk out the door (when I already handed off report) to start an IV on a combative patient that wasn't even mine! The nurse hadn't even tried to stick the patient either! So annoying! Annnnd, having worked the night before, gotten off at 7 a.m. only to have the charge nurse call me at 2 pm, wanting me to come in early for my next shift that was at 7 pm that evening! So mad! I refuse to do that kind of crap anymore, because there's no way any of my coworkers would return the favor. I'm trying to find work elsewhere needless to say...I love nursing! I just don't like how ridiculous things have gotten at my current job.


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