So here I sit almost two years after my graduationfrom nursing school unhappy and stressed. Due to the economic state of our country I was only able to secure employment in psychiatric nursing. I am now experiencing the repercussions of this. I feel totally inadequate as a nurse, I can deescalate, practice active listening and communicate effectively but my total lack of ability performing an adequate physical assessment sickens me. I tried after my first year to gain employment on a medical unit and even had afew interviews but never received an employment offer. I have zero time between work and school (working on BSN) to review and practice my physical assessment skills. When we occasionally get a patient that is somewhat medically unstable I am often at a loss for even the most basic nursing interventions. I feel as thoughI spent eighteen thousand dollars on an education I am not even thoroughly utilizing. After some minor errors in nursing judgment that caused no harm whatsoever to my patients I either want to work a desk position or leave nursing altogether. I went into this profession not for the money but to truly makea difference in the lives of others and I feel I am not doing this. I am tired of the inadequate orientations and training. I am tired of nurse managers who only want to point out what you did wrong and overlook all the good you do. Iam tired of co-workers berating me and talking behind my back. I am tired of seeing nurses who should have left the profession years ago intentionally being verbally and physically cruel to patients who are alone, mentally ill and defenseless.
I have truly wanted to be a nurse for all of my life. I am now forty-one years old and I am a nurse like I always wanted to be; yet I am sad and heartbroken over the state of my short career and the nursing profession in general. I no longer want to be a nurse. I am no longer proud to be a nurse. I have wasted years of my life attending school to work in a profession that leaves me feeling poorly about myself and my abilities. In reality I should have seen this coming while in nursing school with the instructors who were always quick to point out your flaws and ignore your successes. I could be an outstanding nurse if giving the right training I might even gain an ounce of the self-esteem that I left behind somewhere in the first year of nursing school. I am at a loss as to what to do now. Most insurance companies want nurses who have acute care experience and they do not mean acute psychiatric care trust me. So where does one go with such a limited nursing background? Please do not suggest school. I am so sick ofschool and just the few classes I have taken towards my BSN have left me nauseated. I really do not want a BSN but feel that not getting one would limit my employment options even further. I do not want any further education especially in nursing. I am tired of wasting my money and time on a profession that is slowly losing sight of its historical foundations and ethics.
Quote from HouTx
A bit confused as to why you feel that the nursing profession is to blame for your problems. Based on the information you have shared, your current situation is due to the fact that you were unable to secure an acute care job. Maybe due to the economy? Due to only BSN grads being hired? At any rate, you dislike working in psych. So, why are you attributing all this to the fact that nursing is "losing sight of its historical foundations and ethics"? Don't exactly know what you are referring to here.
It seems that you feel trapped in a situation you hate but are resentful of having to put forth the effort/resources that it will take to effect a change. If this is the case, I don't really think it is going to get any better since the BSN classes leaving you "nauseated". Maybe you should look in other directions for something that will make you happier in the long run. I still think that you can be "an outstanding nurse"... but you are off target to believe that this will only happen if you are "giving (sic) the right training". It will happen if you give the right effort. Learning and development are not passive activities that can be instilled by anyone else. You are the only one who can make it happen.
There is an important concept in educational psychology - called "causal attribution". Simply put, it indicates how people tend to place blame for bad things. Some people tend to "own" their own mistakes and problems while others are more likely to attribute everything to external causes. The former usually react by analyzing mistakes and taking action to improve their situation while the latter point of view gives rise to feelings of helplessness and lack of personal efficacy. Just saying . . . your mileage may vary.
You are making assumptions that I have not or am unwilling to put forth the effort in order to reach my goals. I have attempted to get into other areas of nursing as well as acute care. I have sacrificed a lot and have worked my behind off to get the degree I currently have. I cannot no matter how much effort I put into it get the "medical" nursing experience that I need to be an adequate nurse without obtaining a position where I can do so. There is little time to practice physical assessment skills beyond VS on a psych unit when you are carrying a heavy patient load and having to handle codes all the time. I do "own" my own mistakes and accept full responsibility for them and I am rather annoyed that you would imply otherwise. I have been making attempts to improve my situation but that does not magically happen just because one tries to do so.
Last edit by TheCommuter on May 9, '13
: Reason: [/QUOTE] tags added
I am sick of school really do not even want to finish the BSN program I am in.
Last edit by Blue4me2 on May 8, '13
: Reason: Error