Denied PTO for my marriage

Nurses Relations

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Hey fellow nurses,

I just need a place to vent and get some feedback. I've been dating this guy for about 4 years, and he proposed on Christmas day 2016. Naturally I'm ecstatic, and as soon as we get back from visiting his folks, I start planning the wedding. Its my first marriage/engagement, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. After many many phone calls and negotiations with family members and venues, I get my date. July 29th. Fantastic.

At work, our bi-annual PTO sign up starts Jan 1st to the 14th for PTO through the month of august. I sign up on the 4th of Jan for my wedding week and the week after. I'm in a hospital, work 3 12s a week. By the time my wedding rolls around I will have more than enough PTO to cover. I also email both my manager and clinical coordinator and let them know I am getting married.

Yesterday, my PTO was denied. Naturally I'm hurt and heart broken, and I ask them why. I get told PTO is handed out based on seniority, and only so many nurses per shift can be off. I'm a full time night shift nurse. During my week I wanted, there are 5 day nurses and only 1 other night nurse off, but I get told they are full for vacation that week. When I point out the numbers, I get told I'm being difficult to coach. I was told that I should have picked a date at a less busy time for our unit. I was told that if I want my wedding off I need to find someone willing to cover my shifts for me.

I'm heartbroken and enraged and I can feel my emotions eating away at me. I love being a nurse, I've been in the field since 2010, but I hate coming to work any more. Especially now.

My unit is a busy medical unit in a small magnet hospital in a rural state. I will have been on this floor for 2 years in July, and plan to have finished up my BSN by the end of this year. I'm thinking of bailing after the wedding and going to another floor, perhaps float pool where I imagine its a much more flexible schedule.

What do you guys think? How would you handle this?

Your facility must have a strict PTO policy if the sign up periods are bi-annual. Any other facility I worked in, it was monthly, with summer vacations limited to 2 weeks.

You were aware of this restriction. You should have gotten your time off, then planned the wedding. Management does not give a rat's patooty what the time off is for. They do not care about employee work-life balance, they care about their staffing balance.

I would bail before the wedding, but that's just me.

Sour Lemon

5,016 Posts

July really is a busy month for vacations, and if you're one of the newer staff members on the unit, I can see how you'd get denied.

If the date were super-important to me, I'd probably resign before the wedding and look for work elsewhere after the wedding. If my job were more important, I'd pick a new wedding date.

Davey Do

10,476 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
What do you guys think? How would you handle this?

Management does not give a rat's patooty what the time off is for.

Amen.

Determine your priorities, ryuunohime, and go from there.

When I really wanted to take time off, and had been denied, I have just called off, by saying, "I'm calling off".

I figured I had give them a chance to plan for my time off. Lack of planning on their part is not a prosperity on mine.

Congrats and well wishes, ryuunohime!

Bo,RN

35 Posts

When I really wanted to take time off, and had been denied, I have just called off, by saying, "I'm calling off".

I figured I had give them a chance to plan for my time off. Lack of planning on their part is not a prosperity on mine.

At my hospital calling off after being denied PTO is grounds for dismissal.

I would bail before the wedding, but that's just me.

Agree.

Davey Do

10,476 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
At my hospital calling off after being denied PTO is grounds for dismissal.

Like I said,

Determine your priorities

Swellz

746 Posts

Specializes in oncology, MS/tele/stepdown.

Congratulations! I'm sorry you're in this situation. If you're planning on leaving this job anyway, I would just leave before your wedding. I can't imagine trying to scramble to get shifts covered right beforehand.

Jules A, MSN

8,864 Posts

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
July really is a busy month for vacations, and if you're one of the newer staff members on the unit, I can see how you'd get denied.

If the date were super-important to me, I'd probably resign before the wedding and look for work elsewhere after the wedding. If my job were more important, I'd pick a new wedding date.

Yeah July vacations especially only 6 months in advance can be tough to secure. First I would try to get someone to cover-- in writing. Its only 3 shifts hopefully some of your colleagues will pitch in and help you out. If not then I'd proceed to Sour Lemon's advice above. Good luck.

roser13, ASN, RN

6,504 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
Yeah July vacations especially only 6 months in advance can be tough to secure. First I would try to get someone to cover-- in writing. Its only 3 shifts hopefully some of your colleagues will pitch into and help you out. If not then I'd proceed to Sour Lemon's advice above. Good luck.

Actually, it's 6 shifts.

blondy2061h, MSN, RN

1 Article; 4,094 Posts

Specializes in Oncology.

Yikes, what a situation to be in! First off, congrats on your engagement!

My hospital only grants vacation weeks once a year and only one person per shift per unit can be off per week. So there is no way I would have booked anything before the weeks I wanted were guaranteed off.

That being said- there is one approach here. You could try pleading your case to the people who were approved for those weeks. You can even try sweetening the deal to trade with you, to the point where you're not crossing ethical lines.

llg, PhD, RN

13,469 Posts

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

You expected to get 2 weeks in July off? That's not very realistic in most hospitals. July is one of the most popular months for summer vacations and it is not realistic to expect to get 2 weeks during that month. I would never have requested it.

But now that you have been denied ...

1. You need to take a few deep breaths and come to terms with the fact that your request was unrealistic. It's OK to be disappointed, but don't blame your managers more than they deserve. You should have talked to them before setting a firm date to determine what would be possible.

2. After you have calmed down, decide whether or not you want to keep this job. If you don't then plan on resigning shortly before your wedding -- unless you find a good job before that.

3. Start assessing where else you might want to work so that you don't become desperate for a new job while you are in the midst of your wedding and adjusting to married life. If you can find a good job before your wedding that will allow you the time off you will want in July and August... go ahead and take it. If not, at least you will have done some of your homework before you really need a new job.

4. If you decide that in the long run, you want to keep your job ... then talk with you manager about what might be possible. Perhaps you can get the week off after your wedding for a honeymoon. Or perhaps you can negotiate the week before your wedding off -- and take a honeymoon a month or so later. I've known lots of people who have done that.

5. You might have to change your date. That wouldn't be the end of the world. Maybe a few family members won't be there. But again, that's not the end of the world. Think about the millions of people who have gotten married throughout history. Very few of them had "picture-perfect," fantasy weddings. Most people make compromises. Some great marriages begin in the office of a Justice of the Peace. Be willing to make a few compromises. Your marriage is the important thing -- not the fantasy ceremony and reception.

Libby1987

3,726 Posts

Going hard against the grain here, a wedding in its planning infancy is just a fancy future party at this point. You can throw a dart at the calendar and many dates would work.

If your first grandchild's due date is the end of July and lives across the country with its military parents, not as much flexibility there. But a big celebration that you just decided to have, a lot of flexibility.

When I'm looking to take a chunk of time off, I have asked my manager which block is open, took it and then started the planning. It would not have occurred to book the occasion prior to requesting the time off. Have had time denied yet.

I sure wouldn't leave a job over it and go to an unknown employer who may have responded the same.

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