death and children

lpnga · Mar 7, 2003

i still don't think I am going to take them to the visitation or the funeral..I worry about him seeing her. I know when I have taken him to my moms and she was asleep and has said "Nana WAKE UP!!!!!!" he yelled to wake her up...so I am scared that if he thinks she is sleeping he will yell for her to wake up and I will cry then as well as everyone else..so i don't think i am ..thanks to everyone

kimtab · Mar 7, 2003

I think you could take them, they won't understand fully but it might help them connect with why they aren't seeing Nana anymore and begin the process of understanding what death means. I would offer a simple explanation of what they will see before they go, and be prepared to take them out if necessary. maybe a babysitter they are familiar with could come with you who could go outside with them if they were upset or disruptive

emily_mom · Mar 7, 2003

My daughter was 21 months when my Mom died. She was brought to the wake by my SIL but was not allowed to go up near my Mom. Didn't want to confuse her or freak her out.

My husband's g'pa died last fall when Emily was 4. She came to the wake and basically was the entertainer. She grabbed my g'pa and g'ma (mom's folks) and took them up to see great grandpa. She said, "that's my great papa. He's in heaven with angel grandma."

We have talked to Em about my Mom, and she remembers her through pictures and such. She often talks of her "angel grandma" and how much she misses her. She doesn't grasp that she won't see her again, though. That will come with time.

oceanblue · Mar 7, 2003

MY grandfather passed away whem I was 2 years old, my parents took me to the funeral home, I am now 33 yrs. old & I can still see my Grandfather lying in the casket in a black suit with a powder blue carnation on his lapel, I don't think this is anyway for a child to remember a Grandparent.