Dealing with computer problems

  1. Since computers are a part of our everyday lives, I feel that the following has merit in the General Nursing Discussion forum.

    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
    Customer: " Ok."
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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    Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
    getting the same error message."
    Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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    Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
    Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
    Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
    Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
    Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
    Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
    Customer: "What?"
    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
    Customer: "No..."
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    Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
    Tech Support: ?!%#$(*&%$
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    Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
    see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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    Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
    Customer: "A white one."
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    Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
    Customer: "How do you spell that?"
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    Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
    Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
    Tech Support: "Well then we can't-"
    Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."
    Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now.
    You need to-"
    Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have
    to try a few times, and it will let me through."
    Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now
    because you're on the phone with me."
    Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
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    Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
    Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
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    Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
    Customer:" Pentium."
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    Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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    Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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    Customer: "How do I print my voice mail?"
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    Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
    document, but the computer won't boot properly."
    Tech Support: "What does it say?"
    Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
    Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
    Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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    Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem.
    We're open 24 hours."
    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
    Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
    Tech Support: "Well?"
    Customer: "How do I know when it's ready ?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on Mar 22, '04 : Reason: typeo
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   traumaRUs
    Quite cute Fran! I'm a University of Phoenix online student and I do have to say their tech support guys are the absolute best. Honest - if they can get me through compute set-up they are angels (or must drink a lot at work - teeheehee).
  4. by   Katnip
    Hehehehehe.

    I've had to call tech support a couple of times, and asked my guru friends for help. I'm sure that while they keep those cordial, well-modulated tones of voice, (they sound like air traffic controllers) they are dying to reach through the phone lines and throttle me. But I must say, I'm not nearly as bad as these examples.


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