Dating Your Doctor

  1. Is there anything ethically wrong with dating your doctor? He has been my doctor for 7 years. We have a professioal relationship as well, being that I am an RN. He was my doctor prior to me becoming a nurse. So what do you all think? By the way I am sure he feels the same way.
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   kangaroo621
    To keep it as professional and un-messy as possible...

    get a NEW doctor, then date the guy you like... otherwise it is WAY too complicated!
  4. by   UM Review RN
    Maybe not unethical for you, but for him, I would say yes, since you are his patient. Maybe you should change docs if you're going to have a personal relationship with him.

    But I'm kinda old-fashioned about that stuff anyway, and I tend to not mix business with pleasure. It can get messy if things don't work out.
  5. by   TazziRN
    It's not unethical as long as you find another doc to manage your care.
  6. by   gitterbug
    YOU have an issue with this or you would not have posted this question. I would get a new PCP, then date this man. May we inquire how much of an age difference there is in this relationship? There are many questions that come to my mind, but none of my business, so be careful and good luck.
  7. by   TazziRN
    Quote from gitterbug
    May we inquire how much of an age difference there is in this relationship? There are many questions that come to my mind, but none of my business, so be careful and good luck.
    Oh, I didn't catch that.......OP, I am not saying this to be patronizing but it's not uncommon to have feelings for one's doctor. I went back and re-read your post more carefully, it sounds like you do not know for sure if he feels the same way? "Pretty sure" is not the same as "He does". You must tread carefully until and unless you find out for sure the feelings are reciprocated because you may ruin your doctor-pt and doctor-nurse relationship with him if you jump the gun.
  8. by   Lorelai22RN
    Get a new doctor then date him. This isn't Grey's Anatomy so it might not end pretty if something does become a problem......I'd be careful. I agree it can get messy if things don't work out............
  9. by   Gennaver
    Quote from lmonet82
    Is there anything ethically wrong with dating your doctor? He has been my doctor for 7 years. We have a professioal relationship as well, being that I am an RN. He was my doctor prior to me becoming a nurse. So what do you all think? By the way I am sure he feels the same way.
    Hello Imonet82,

    You are 25 and he has been your doctor since you were 18 years old. Which means that you were born in 1982 and he was probably already on his way to med school by then, (give or take a decade?)

    Since you also say that you are sure he feels the same way leads me to think that maybe he necessarily doesn't feel the same way.

    He may view you as the youthful person that you are since you were still a minor at the time he had already graduated medical school

    Not only is he your boss and your doctor but you have a generation between you.

    I would really, really be careful about this, it might really be difficult.

    Take good care and remember that a crush is a crush and a crush doesn't always need to be revealed. Charming and caring is one thing but, to bring this to the light of day or to his attention could be a wrong move.

    Gen
  10. by   lmonet82
    Of course if I were to engage in a relationship with this man, I would get a new doctor. The reason I said I am pretty sure he i attracted to me , is because of his behavior. My co-workers, and even the nurse supervisor seem to think he has an interest in me, without me ever insinuating anything at all about him. He is about 44; so there is about 20 yrs between us.
  11. by   gitterbug
    Please understand the comments from your fellow workers are a double edged sword, especially if the supervisor has made a comment. Listen, is this guy divorced? Are children involved if he is divorced? Does he have a history of messing around with the nurses? Can you see yourself in a close, personal relationship with this man? Is it curiosity or an itch that needs scratched? Twenty years is not terrible, but do you have any reason to think there would be shared interests between the two of you? I do not mean to get too personal, I really do not expect answers to these questions, I just want to give you some food for thought. Every working nurse on this board has seen this type of situation, some end well, some do not. Be prepared is all I am saying. I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a blessed day.
  12. by   Tweety
    Yes, we all have seen nurses date doctors. It's very common. I've also seen several 20somethings fall for MDs who are 40something and get burned. Guard your heart is all I can say.

    Technically your doctor is flirting and acting interested in a patient and his board might have a problem with that, especially given the age difference. His behavior is less than professional. Sorry that's just how people think.

    So definately stop being his patient. I was going to suggest keeping it on the low for a while, but it seems everyone knows your business at work.

    People can be catty. I had a friend who was a pyschologist whom dated a former patient who was in a group, not really a one-on-one patient and someone turned him in and he had to defend himself to his licensing board. I'm sure things are different for psychologists.

    Good luck.
    Last edit by Tweety on Apr 4, '07
  13. by   Dorito
    Great advice Tweety and Gennaver. I remember when I was in my 20's and a couple of the 30 and 40 something Dr's used to flirt and I did too. (both were married as well as myself at the time) Fortunatley I never acted on it and we still work in the same facility and respect each other. I do know of other situations that led to lots of rumors and gossip. I think you should switch your primary MD and just take it for what it probably is.....flirting. Good Luck
  14. by   donsterRN
    I agree with most of the above.

    I've always believed that it's never a good idea to get personally involved with someone you know professionally. If you like this man, and he likes you, then I'd feel free to pursue the personal relationship after I ended the professional one. It's not a good idea to mix the two.

    Just my $.02...

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