Crying?

[RN BSN 2009]

Hi all. Since I am a pretty sentimental person, I know this will have to happen quite a few times in my career. No not crying because of management or co-workers, but with patients. Have you ever cried with a patient? Do you think it is unprofessional? I'm just wondering because it seems like a grey area to me, where does the professional/unprofessional line cross.

[meownsmile, BSN, RN]

I think when i stop having those moments of emotions i wont want to be a nurse anymore.

[DizzyLizard]

I have cried with patient families when their loved ones have passed. I agree with other posters, the day I loose my compassion is the day I stop being a nurse.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

We talked about this very thing at work today! Some of the nurses I work with don't cry very easily at all (doesn't mean they don't feel things as strongly) and some of us (myself including) can shed tears over a sappy commercial. What brought our discussion on, was that I had a couple of tears roll down my face while charting today because of a sad song on the radio. I hate being so easy to cry! I feel that others will see me as less than professional and 'together.' I can keep the tears at bay with patients though. I did shed a tear (no boo-hoos, I can save them for home or if needed, the bathroom) with a patient a few weeks ago. She was recently diagnosed with cancer and right after the diagnosis, her mother passed away. She has been really down, physically and mentally. I hugged her and we both shed a tear. I certainly don't think it harmed her opinion of me, I just hope I gave her some tenderness in her pain and that she knows that we care.

[RN BSN 2009]

[Midwest4me]

Echoing others' posts, yes, I've cried with patients and their families...usually when a patient has passed away, but there has also been the time when I've shed a tear with a patient who has just discussed an expected amputation. I DO NOT think it's unprofessional; some situations have been so moving that I can't imagine NOTcrying.

[BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN]

I think when i stop having those moments of emotions i wont want to be a nurse anymore.

:Snowman2: I agree, my empathy is a large part of why I became a nurse in the first place!

[BJLynn]

The first time I had to call in a family and tell them their wife/mother was dying I could feel the tears building as I talked to them in the room. I didn't loose it until after I left the room though. Then the tears just rolled down my cheeks as I went back to the nurses station to chart. Good or bad, it's just who I am.

[Gompers, BSN, RN]

I think when i stop having those moments of emotions i wont want to be a nurse anymore.

I've heard these wise words before and I totally agree with them.

I've cried with many a family in the NICU. Sometimes it's tears of happiness, other times it's just devastating sorrow. It's hard to NOT cry when you're dealing with newborn babies and their families. There have been moments on our unit when almost every single staff member was crying (25+ people per shift) even if they weren't taking care of that baby and its family.

[Pachinko]

So funny that I found this thread--the first time I've cried at work was tonight. I was on the phone with an irate family member who'd been laying into me all day about how awful the care was, how she's going to sue the doctors, me, the hospital, etc...and then, on her fifth phone call like this, she finally broke down and explained how horrible it had been to watch her family member go through so many tests and procedures that were painful and scary, and how helpless she felt. I told that her that I understood and that she made me feel so sad that I felt like crying, and I did.

I'm of two minds about it. On one hand, I do believe that it made a big difference for this family member--she was profuse in her thanks for our care, thanked me, and told me how wonderful it was to be acknowledged with honesty. On the other hand, it's not a habit I want to get into--I think it's more important to be a listener and to be optimistic in order to show strength. I remember reading in nursing school (I'm a new grad) that emotional displays like crying or saying "I'm scared for him too" may make a patient or family feel that you're too fragile to help them. I guess that sharing your feelings is as much of a nursing judgment as anything else.

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

Yes I have. I think that shows you have a genuine caring quality that is needed in the nursing profession. Someday that will be us in that bed.

[bill4745, RN]

Many times-with the family when someone dies, after my first baby code in the ER (even one of the docs broke down on that one), when a two year old reached out to hug me when she was leaving after I held her down to get sutured. If this job doesn't make you cry once in a while you should not be a nurse!

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

Unabashed tearshedder here... usually with dying patients, but sometimes for other reasons. I had a little old lady with alzheimer's who was supposed to go to a nursing home in the next day or so. She would nap a couple hours, then wake up and forget the last time she saw her daughter, and remember that she was going to a nursing home. So I knew when she did this by the sobbing and noseblowing noises coming from her room. The only thing that helped her was to sit down next to her, new box of kleenex in hand, and cry with her for a few minutes. Then she'd be willing to be tucked back into bed so she could sleep a little bit. At 5 am she didn't know that we had already done this twice in the same night. It's a good possibility that I cried more on that shift than I had with some of my dying patients.