Confession is Good for the Soul - page 3

I am sitting here today trying to make sense of the world. I left home when I was 18 and ended up in the military as a way to pay for college. I also knew I wanted to work in health care (M*A*S*H... Read More

  1. by   music
    .....
    So I left nursing and jumped into the IT field before the market IT "bubble" burst and quickly established myself as a "guru" of the highest order in health care information systems. When the IT sector became weak I remained gainfully employed as the IT sector in health care remained strong.

    I am now working on my PhD and have just signed an employment contract for 3 years as a researcher in the development of a new diagnostic modality for cancer screening. I will be making $165,000.00 annually until this contract expires. I also have a good benefits package. After that, who knows? Anybody know a good tax attorney?



    Any way as I assume this new role and responsibility I am trying to bring to closure my bitterness towards nursing (the culture) and I find myself spending a lot of time working in the flower bed (gardening) in hopes that this therapeutic activity will bring the healing I need. But the bitterness lingers. There is an emotional wound that quite hasn't healed yet. I am trying to understand that.

    So how does one heal the soul from such negativity? We all have had experiences that have embittered us in some way. How does one find forgiveness in a world that seems to embrace hatred? As they say confession is good for the soul and I hope this one will help me to move on.

    -HBS


    THE WAY I SEE IT, you didn't leave nursing, just the area you were working in. You are still involved in health care related research and helping to design something that could help many, many people. You still have the heart of a nurse, the compassion of a nurse, the soul of a nurse. That is what led you to want to help others. The only thing wrong right now is the fact that your nursing "spirit" is broken. But sometimes we have to step back and look at situations a little farther down the road before we can truly understand them.

    One day you will see how you were lead to the place you are now so that you could accomplish the wonderful things you are getting ready to do. It will all make sense later. Now, all you need to do is not give too much power to
    those who hurt and disappointed you in the past. Believe me, they are not sitting up nights gloating over how you are gone now. ....You are the one who is giving it that much power. You were too good for them. You didn't lower your standards to theirs. Be proud of that and realize how far you have come and they are still stuck in the same place making others miserable and probably being miserable themselves.

    Take a deep breath and thank God for all you've got and go make a few new miracle designs to help mankind. What better job for a nurse to have. You will always be a nurse. It has changed the way you feel and look at everything.
    Use it well. Florence Nightingale would be proud.
    Last edit by Jay-Jay on May 9, '04 : Reason: Fixed coding to show quote
  2. by   hbscott
    Wise Words from Wise Nurses. Thank you all very much!

    -HBS

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    HBS: Since you are likely a master gardener, this is a bit off topic: do you have experience using MILKY SPORE to remove grubs, and eventually MOLES, from your yard? My darn yard is being dug up by these obnoxious creatures and I have heard milky spore works in an indirect way to get rid of grubs and then moles? What do you think? None of the major home/hardware/garden stores here SELL IT!!! I can only find it online. Anyhow, any opinion here?

    Sorry for the Hijack, but just curious!
  4. by   hbscott
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    HBS: Since you are likely a master gardener, this is a bit off topic: do you have experience using MILKY SPORE to remove grubs, and eventually MOLES, from your yard? My darn yard is being dug up by these obnoxious creatures and I have heard milky spore works in an indirect way to get rid of grubs and then moles? What do you think? None of the major home/hardware/garden stores here SELL IT!!! I can only find it online. Anyhow, any opinion here? Sorry for the Hijack, but just curious!
    No problem, glad to be of service. Since I live in Maryland I use the following site for some of my supply needs:

    http://homeharvest.com/

    and in regards to the product you asked about

    http://homeharvest.com/milkspore.html

    and

    http://homeharvest.com/naturalpestmain.htm

    I have not used Milky Spore powder as my soil bed is in pretty good shape. However when in doubt I go to my local nursery and check with the "old timer" there who teaches me a lot. I try not to over do the pesticides and other such products but sometimes you just have too.



    Hope that helps.

    Hugh
  5. by   nurse_robin
    Quote from hbscott

    Any way as I assume this new role and responsibility I am trying to bring to closure my bitterness towards nursing (the culture) and I find myself spending a lot of time working in the flower bed (gardening) in hopes that this therapeutic activity will bring the healing I need. But the bitterness lingers. There is an emotional wound that quite hasn?t healed yet. I am trying to understand that.

    So how does one heal the soul from such negativity? We all have had experiences that have embittered us in some way. How does one find forgiveness in a world that seems to embrace hatred? As they say confession is good for the soul and I hope this one will help me to move on.

    -HBS
    Hi HBS,
    I'm sorry that you have those feelings. I just got this in an email today and hope it can help you think thru your dilemma:

    ?The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.?

    ?Mohandas Gandhi

    You sound like a strong person to me and I hope that you can forgive and move on. Sounds as though you have moved on and very well too!

    Gardening is also my treat for my soul and I can truly understand the theraputic value in it. I'll be looking forward to seeing those pix of your garden too!

    God Bless You.

    Robin
  6. by   Jay-Jay
    HBS, sorry you had such a bad experience with nursing. Perhaps it was the place/time/people you worked with who were to blame? We have several male nurses doing homecare, and they're wonderful nurses. Occassionally they run into a female who doesn't want them to do a catheter insertion, or pack an abcess in her genital/buttock area, and one of them reports having a patient tell him he MUST be gay (despite being married, with a couple of kids!) but on the whole, people are very accepting of them. As for hospital nursing, my husband had several male nurses on the cardiac unit he was on, and one of them was about the BEST nurse I've met anywhere! (And one was a real ***...while doing pericare on my hubby, he would make inappropriate remarks, crude, locker-room stuff. Still wonder that he got away with it...)

    Was the main problem with co-workers or patients when you were in nursing? Maybe it was just the times...I have trouble imagining something like this happening today, when there are so many more males in the profession.
  7. by   fiestynurse
    As a woman, I have experienced gender bias on a regular basis. I certainly didn't let it get the best of me. I refused to be a victim or blame others for my struggles. It's time to move on!
  8. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from fiestynurse
    As a woman, I have experienced gender bias on a regular basis. I certainly didn't let it get the best of me. I refused to be a victim or blame others for my struggles. It's time to move on!
    that's a really interesting point fiesty....women to this day experience all types of gender bias. hhhmmm, interesting. it's really a bigger deal when it's the man experiencing it.
  9. by   hbscott
    Quote from earle58
    that's a really interesting point fiesty....women to this day experience all types of gender bias. hhhmmm, interesting. it's really a bigger deal when it's the man experiencing it.
    Can't speak for other people but I have never tolerated sexual harassment and discrimination in any environment. I expected better from nursing and that was my mistake. I have learned to keep my expectations realistic. People behave badly in all professions and walks of life. Not all people mind you, but there those who will take narcissism to the extreme and exploit others when given the opportunity. Even in nursing.

    -HBS
    Last edit by hbscott on May 9, '04
  10. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from hbscott
    Can't speak for other people but I have never tolerated sexual harassment and discrimination in any environment. I expected better from nursing and that was my mistake. I have learned to keep my expectations realistic. People behave badly in all professions and walks of life. Not all people mind you, but there those who will take narcissism to the extreme and exploit others when given the opportunity. Even in nursing.

    -HBS
    actually a more cruel reality is that many of these exploiters and narcissists are clustered together in the nsg. profession. it's quite ironic for those of us who enter the profession for its' nobility and to have to be exposed to all the backstabbing politics. it truly can boggle one's mind for it's the last thing you'd expect in THIS profession but for reasons unbeknownst to me, it's one of the worst. i think it's the personal satisfaction one gets, that makes people stay; otherwise there would be absolutely no motivation.
  11. by   mattsmom81
    Quote from hbscott
    Can't speak for other people but I have never tolerated sexual harassment and discrimination in any environment. I expected better from nursing and that was my mistake. I have learned to keep my expectations realistic. People behave badly in all professions and walks of life. Not all people mind you, but there those who will take narcissism to the extreme and exploit others when given the opportunity. Even in nursing.

    -HBS

    ESPECIALLY in nursing...because nurses function in such oppressive conditions they become dysfunctional in too many cases. Downtrodden, weary people can indeed behave very badly. Bad management also fosters more dysfunctional behavior by allowing the bad behavior to continue in too many cases..

    I work with more and more nurses who treat their fellow nurses like dogs, either overtly, or covertly...writing them up behind their backs, etc....but are so codependent with patients and families that administration just LOVES them...and they get away with it. Just one dysfunction I see.

    I too was surprised...thinking nursing was some kind of 'kinder gentler' profession. The key for me was learning how to spot the snakes in the grass and stay one step ahead of 'em. They are indeed everywhere in life.
  12. by   pdmt
    I was given some wonderful advice one time: That it's OK to get angry about something, but don't get bitter. Easier said than done.

    I collect quotations, and one that I use sometimes for my email tag is ""We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." --Anais"

    It would seem to me that what hurt you was that nursing was not what you wanted it to be -- rather, it was only being what it really was.

    I believe that the difficulty lies in seeing things how they really are, without the cloak of our desires.

    Hope this makes sense.

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