Broken arm and the emergency room

I work in corrections, and if one of the inmates tells me where I should try first I listen to them as most have had some up close and personal experiance with their venous system.

Just to throw my two cents in the pot...

Its pretty rare that I get useful advice from a patient on how to start my IVs. I think this is because the majority of people aren't really "hard sticks". They may have experienced trouble the last time they went to the ER after 4 days of V&D and were severely dehydrated and a nurse tried to start an IV, failed, and told them they were a hard stick. Personally, I don't take much stock in that.
Granted, your Mom is a nurse and knew what she was talking about but did her nurse know that? And even if she did, maybe her nurse saw a big juicy vein that she thought she could jab without a problem.
I agree it sucks to be ignored but as professionals I don't think we just stab people indiscriminately, we make educated decisions and act on our training.

I think it is pretty arrogant to say I know what my job is and I do it my weay on that subject. I AM a hard stick and I will tell you where to stick. I always look first at where my patients tell me it is easiest. Esp If they have a big medical history. They know. I let a guy go where he wanted one time and he hit a nerve in my wrist. It took months for the pain to go away.
It also has a lot to do with what's going on with the patient. I have lost like 80 pounds so I bet there may be a couple of fat juicy ones now!

i'm a hard stick because i am fat. but i NEVER tell another nurse where to stick me. just because a lot of people get me in one arm doesn't mean that vein will be nice and juicy on another day. i just be good and hold out my arms for them to look at. i dont like it when people tell me where to stick and i'd never do that to another nurse. i have had nurses ask me where i get stuck the most but it's still a crap shoot day to day of where the veins will be good.

This is true of everyone, and is worth repeating.

I've seen nurses work miracles with tough IV starts. I would never presume to tell the nurse where to poke. The ED nurse in the OP has probably started more IVs than you can shake a stick at. Myself, I only try twice, then I get someone else.

In my experience, it can go either way. I've had people insist that I have to stick them in one particular place when it is obvious that another vein would be a better stick. I'm going to go for the the vein that looks good to me. If I can't get in a vein that looks good to me, guess what? I'm not going to get in the other one either even if that is where other people get it. So my point is that your Mom probably would have had to be stuck twice even if the nurse had started out where she asked her to.

It probably wouldn't have bothered me if your mom had made that suggestion to me. I certainly would have looked at it. What I do hate is when a patient sits down and tells me that the last nurse/phlebotomist/tech/MA told them that we have to stick in XYZ spot from now on because that is the only place it can be done. Why handicap the next person like that? Just because you could only do it in one spot doesn't mean the next person can't do it.

I was taught to listen to the patient....They do know their own body best...

I usually ask the patient if they have a favorite vein. But I'll also use a different one if it looks better than the one they point out, and explain why. Sometimes (a lot of the time) people are very insistent that they have the worst veins ever seen in this hospital. That gets old, and if they are well enough to converse about where they want it, they aren't too bad. I agree that the patient has absolute right to what happens to their body- if I explain my actions my patients seem to agree and feel respected.
There's always that other 2% that look on disapprovingly but don't say what's on their mind. If you want another vein, or another nurse please speak up BEFORE it's a done deal. It's so frustrating when I get all set up and someone says, "they never get it on that side, you'll have to do the other arm." I might get a little snarky when I get it first try.