Breastfeeding at 2 1/2 years???

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Emergency, Case Management, Informatics.

Hello all,

A friend of mine and I are in a little disagreement about breastfeeding. She is still breastfeeding her 2 1/2 year old children. The AAP and WHO recommend breastfeeding exclusively to 6 months, and breastfeeding to a year if possible, while introducing solid foods. They also state that you should continue breastfeeding as long as it's mutually acceptable to the child and mother.

My feeling on the latter part of that statement is that if, for example, the child no longer wants to breastfeed around 9 or 10 months, then you should no longer force the child to breastfeed. Her feeling on that statement is that if the child is 5 years old and she and the child still want to breastfeed, then it's acceptable. Her reasoning behind this is that children in third world countries breastfeed to 5 or 6 years old, so why shouldn't we? I tried to counter with the fact that children in third world countries have to do this just to survive, because there are few other food choices in most cases.

I also believe that breastfeeding to this age can possibly cause psychosocial problems (see Freud's oral stage of development and Erikson's autonomy vs. shame and doubt). She stated that "everyone has an oral fixation" because "everyone likes to eat" (???). I'm not sure what eating has to do with an oral fixation.

Granted, I'm "just a man" and because of that fact, I don't know anything about these types of issues :rolleyes: , but I just don't think that there's any medical or psychological reason to be breastfeeding a 2 1/2 year old child. Am I wrong here?

One point of clarification -- she does not breastfeed exclusively. Meaning, the children do eat solid food, along with breastfeeding throughout the day.

I've seen a documentary on kids that stay on breast for longer and it didn't end well!

As you say, recommended is 6 months. Sure, 2 years is fine (ish), but next year, that kid will be going to nursery. If it were my kid or if my advice were asked for, start weaning now, if not earlier ;)

DonaldJ

Breastfeeding is a natural process that is shared between a mother, child, and that immediate family. Someone on the outside really can't make a judgement about it being right or wrong for that family. For someone to tell a mother who knows she is doing the right thing for her child that it is wrong because personally they think that there is something wrong with it when they have never experienced it or done in depth research on it will just cause unnecessary tension in the relationship. Breastfeeding is a very hot topic and really should not be debated amoungst friends. You don't have to agree with it.

The WHO actually recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years and then for as long as mutually desired. The AAP has been behind on these recommendations, but the fact that they say a year minimum and then for as long as mutually desired means they have figured out the benefits. It is hard for the AAP to say longer because of Americans distorted view of breastfeeding. In America breasts are a sexual organ, but in most other parts of the world (and not just third world) it is seen as a source of nourishment and comfort for babies and young children. And babies can actually exclusively breastfeed for the first year of life without any other supplements. When solids/nonbreastmilk items are introduced it is purely for experiencing new tastes, smells, and textures. It really isn't meant for being the main source of nourishment. In the second year of life, solids start to be the main nourishment and breastmilk is considered to be a boost. And for those who choose to nurse their child until 5 or 6, studies have demonstrated that the natural age of weaning for humans is anywhere from 2-7 years of age.

Also, many babies who "wean" before a year are usually going through phase (I foget what they call it). Often this phase is mistaken as the baby self-weaning, but it really isn't.

For you and your friend, stop talking about this topic. She is a mother who believes (and I am sure she has research to make up her belief) she is doing the right thing for her child, it isn't harmful to the child. The only harm that is coming is a disagreement between you and her that might end your friendship. If this was a patient of yours whose beliefs wouldn't allow for certain procedures how would you handle it. I hope you wouldn't keep telling them they were wrong and constantly try to change their mind and submit to something that would ultimately challenge who they are.

Just for the record, if something truely harmful were occuring, like abuse of some sort (which extended breastfeeding is not, you can NOT make a child nurse against their will) I would say contact the appropriate people and let them handle it. In no way do I agree with abuse as a personal choice.

Well, I know many will disagree with my post, but these are my 2 cents. I am not an IBCLC or part of LLL or anything like that, but I do strongly believe in the right of women and children. I have done a lot of research on this particular area.

Thank you and take care,

KDB

Breastfeeding -- to do or not and for how long -- are very personal decisions. I BF my first child until 2 years 9 months -- and only stopped because I was preg w/ #2 and milk disappeared. I BF #2 until 2.5. We stopped because I had a serious injury and was on numerous medications that were harmful to my child. Both of my children would have preferred to nurse longer. I was about ready to stop when I did with # 2 but not #1. I can tell you that my children were extremely healthy while they were nursing -- few colds and NO ear infections. I have noticed that since # 2 stopped nursing, he gets colds that frequently progress to bronchitis. He never got those while nursing. He probably could have benefitted from longer nursing.

I think the discomfort comes from others when a mother and child extended breastfeed. My children have very happy memories of snuggling close to me and nursing. I am glad we didn't stop earlier or they wouldn't have these memories. They also look upon mothers nursing their babies in public as very natural and not at all out of the ordinary. Maybe we will raise a generation that has these attitudes. All the better for us.

THat all being said, breastfeeding worked out wonderfully for my family. Should a mother choose to bottle feed her child, I would support that too. You have to do what works for your family.

Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

As someone else said, WHO says it should be done for 2 years. But really, what 2 year old eats a complete balanced diet? Let her BF in peace if both her and child are happy with the arrangement. The kid will get a nutritional and immune system boost. 2.5 years isn't too old to be a developmenal problem for kids. My SIL BF'd her one child for 3.5 years. That kid is fine now at 11 years old and not clingy at all. Now if this child were entering kindergarden in a month that may be another story.

Specializes in Case Management.

I agree with the other posters. The only thing that I wanted to add is that it should definitely be the child's choice. Of my 4 children, my first weaned at 8 months. My second continued to nurse into her 3rd year. My third child also nursed into her 3rd year, and my son weaned at 8 months.

I did belong to La Leche League and the other posters have well documented the reasons that breastfeeding is very beneficial.

Children are all different people. They each have different needs and desires and the mother is being a good parent when she continues the breastfeeding experience for the child who finds comfort at his/her mother's breast.

I cherish my memories of my children nursing at my breast.

Some men cannot handle the de-sexualization of the female breast.

I had to wean my youngest son at 6 weeks..had to go back to work and didn't think it was fair to my co-workers in a busy ICU to drop everything to go pump for half an hour two or three times a shift. And he was the healthiest kid out of my bunch.

Specializes in ob, med surg.

[quote name=

Some men cannot handle the de-sexualization of the female breast.[/quote]

JUST A NOTE

Some WOMEN cannot handle the de-sexualization of the female breast. I got more hassle and dirty looks from women than I EVER got from men when I was breastfeeding!! :redlight:

My third son is still nursing at almost 2 1/2. I truly NEVER in my life thought I would EVER nurse a toddler. The thought of it gave me the willies (true), but somehow it just progressed. I always knew after my dd weaned at 16 months that I would go longer with our next child if they wanted to. Well.... true to just about every man he doesn't want to give it up. :rolleyes: I always said "when they're old enough to ask for it, they're old enough to stop." Not true.

Truth be told the benefits to mom and baby continue for a long time. One of the biggest benefits is for moms who breastfeed a total of 3 - 6 years. They're risk of breast cancer drops by 50-80% (depending on the study).

It truly is a personal choice. I'm done apologizing to my family or friends when they "freak out" about the fact that he's still nursing. He and I can both still reap benefits of it so who should tell us it's not right??

Oh... and I just wanted to add... questioning any mothers parenting skills???

Kinda like walking into the lions den with 2 t-bones strapped to your butt. :chuckle

Four years here, and I had to wean my kids. If I hadn't, they'd probably still be nursing! :chuckle They're both well-adjusted, good kids. One is robust, the other seems to be the first to catch whatever bug is going around. Oh, and I was a professional who pumped at the office (not in the 4th year, of course!) and not an "earth mom" type (not a slam). I think what's best is what works for individual families.

I've seen a documentary on kids that stay on breast for longer and it didn't end well!

As you say, recommended is 6 months. Sure, 2 years is fine (ish), but next year, that kid will be going to nursery. If it were my kid or if my advice were asked for, start weaning now, if not earlier ;)

Do you remember the title of this documentary? I'm very curious to know what "it didn't end well" means. Are they serial killers? Sexual predators? What???

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