I am so sorry you and your dad and family are facing this! A brief note to help you understand where I'm coming from, not to redirect from your post.
my daughter, in a MVA had several subarachnoid bleeds at 18, its a bleeding stroke. Understand that instead of rehab (many, many broken bones and couldn't walk), as a nurse, I needed to take her home and care for her.
But then I couldn't work, our finances depend upon my pay. I realized I couldn't be the "bad" person to make her get up and do for herself, my heart was broken, I'm mom, not the bad guy... you're the daughter... not the "bad guy". To take dad home, you'd have to move him when it hurt, exercise him while exhausted, suction, do peg feeds, turn every two hours when he wants to sleep but pressure sores are waiting.
I learned there is a time to nurse, and a time to be family. I know, there is no way you are mentally healed to take this on, you're hell that you've been through is lurking and will hit you and make you face it then heal. Until then, your relationships will be strained, you'll be exhausted and you won't take care of you.
Can you honestly, honestly then, accepting that... take on dad, whom you love... into your home and provide that care? NO,,,, NO,,,, NO. That's why, we have trained professionals to do what we can't take on.
You are NOT a failure or less of a person because this is bigger than you and you need time to heal. You are NOT A NURSE, you are a grieving daughter whom needs help. You must first accept that help, visit often and add to dad's therapy until he is at a point.... and you and your family is at a point to take him home.
You may never get there, you may be there in a few weeks... but I'm an ICU nurse, I understand dads state and he requires more than you can do... accept that. Sending my daughter to rehab was the toughest thing I've ever done. Allowing others to demand her participation, her moving, her getting out of bed... was a tremendous relief, because I wasn't the bad guy... I was simply someone there to encourage and love her.
This is beyond you, and I promise it's ok, you and your family need time to heal, so you can be there for what dad needs LATER, just not now, it's not the time. Give yourself permission to be the daughter,not the nurse.
I'm thinking and praying for you.