Between a rock and a hard place. - page 2
I am having a very difficult time right now. I am looking at a decision I really do not want to make. Currently, I love my job. I love my colleagues. They are always there to support and assist me.... Read More
Jan 12, '08If mom's not happy, nobody is happy. You have goals also, and deserve to accomplish them. Women always seem to be the one to compensate for everything and take care of everyone. If your current job is really important to you, maybe moving closer would alleviate a lot of the stress. When you ask 'maybe I should quit altogether', it leads me to believe you don't have to work to survive. If that's so , don't quit, cut your hours back to 2 pm's a week, whether you move or not, it will give you lots more time home w/your kids and you will still feel worthwhile and accomplished. Good Luck !
Jan 13, '08Looking at the advice already given I have to agree with the ones who suggest you work PT at your current job - may be one day per week if that is possible. I would like to think your managers would accomodate this as they will no doubt rather have you PT but with a view to being FT again when circumstances allow.
Also, would it be possible for you to not have to take a second job, or could you consider taking a second job in a different field of nursing or even not a nursing job at all?
My worry is even if you worked FT closer to home it is still going to be stressful and time consuming even without the two hour commute.
I have to say I also agree with - i think it was GrumpyRN - who said about always the women having to make the sacrifice when their husbands could be part of the solution.
Jan 13, '08I think that this is a hard decision for anyone....but it's not fair to the kids. I'd chalk your job up for expierence, and move closer to home...However, don't lose touch with the other hospital, when situations clear up...perhaps you'd be able to go back into that hospital system as a realtively "old hat".
On the kid front...I think you are teaching your oldest a HIGH level of maturity for being self-sufficent and able to keep a open ear and an open heart to care! When you have to do things for the family, then it's good to help grow up those children in a good place...kudos.
On the parent front...you know, any parent who would be willing to put their kids into an adult disagreement is just silly. your kids would be better off without those families anyways. And besides, if you end up saving someone's life, how bout that hug at the next PTA meeting? more than worth it....
Jobs come and go, but family is forever....GL to you.
Jan 13, '08This is always a tough struggle. I recently turned down an offer for a job on nights that I am sure I would have preferred, because I have another offer on days which is more conducive to home life - and I actually don't want to do nights anymore. I struggled over this for a month before committing.
Can you consider this a temporary change of jobs? Your kids won't be kids forever. Is there any possiblity of you returning to the job that you love at a later date?
Staying on as a prn certainly will keep you in touch.
Jan 13, '08Quote from nurseby07Maybe your husband should listen to his own advice....
Ummmm yeah I was going to say this.
Can he not change his job and be closer to 'his' family too?
You seem to be wearing it all on your shoulders.
Forgive me if I am speaking out of turn but a coin has two sides.
Follow what your heart tells you too do.
Jan 13, '08I don't know that it is particularly unfair to the kids or that she is being asked to sacrifice while her husband is not. It sounds like he is away because of a military order to be stationed somewhere in particular. And it sounds like the kids are doing ok.
I do hope she can cut down her hours and stay on this job that she loves. I hope she doesn't try to do too much for her terminal mother in law, even though she wants to. She has got children to think of first and also must sleep. FMLA?
Moving, working closer to home, changing to Days, cutting hours? Just not sure what to advise but hope it works out favorably for you and your loved ones.
Feb 9, '08Sorry for the belated reply and thanks to all of you who have taken the time to give me your input and support. I have been really ill for the last 3 weeks or so and am now getting better. I have decided to work part time (2d/wk) closer to home and once a pay period at my current place of employment. Once hubby retires and things stabilize I figure we can look at the whole picture and go from there. I am so glad you guys are there. Your input has been invaluable.
Feb 9, '08It is a tough situation, but I think that working at a miserable job would stress you and drain your energies much more than an hour commute would.
As another poster suggested, why not go part-time, prn, or days?
A nurse enjoying and loving her job, and working in the kind of environment you describe is extremely rare. I wouldn't give that up.
I see that I posted before reading that you'd made you decision. I hope everything works out for the best!Last edit by Valerie Salva on Feb 9, '08 : Reason: Addendum
Feb 9, '08Why not try a prn position at the "new " place. You might like it. I worked in a rural hospital right after graduation and we had a mixture of patients as well. Did more stabilize and ship than admits but it was a GREAT learning experience. Learned to recognize all kinds of problems and to think on my feet. My youngest was still in school and it did not pose a problem for him at all. I worked with classmates parents and that too was not a problem.