ashamed today - page 3

Hi, this is my first post, but I needed to express my feelings about this somewhere. The reason I'm posting is because I'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. I work at a very large hospital... Read More

  1. by   susiegirl
    I guess different people have different views on the subject, and it seems that most people don't see this degree of inappropriate behavior at work. I feel that if the work environment makes employees uncomfortable, then that may end up affecting patient care, so good for you if you can ignore it and go about doing the best job you can without worrying about others. I'm not being personally harassed, but that doesn't have to be the case in sexual harassment. It can be just a certain environment in the workplace that makes people uncomfortable. I agree that I'm letting my morality color my judgement, but there is such a thing as inappropriate, and this is it. I don't care what your morals are, you don't sit facing your coworker with your ankle up on his shoulder in the middle of the workplace. Btw, the worst gossips in the department are the nurses, and yes, they talk about each other, and everyone else. I guess I should look for a different job.
  2. by   jo272wv
    I too have not seen this type of behavior where I work but sure it goes on behind the seen some what. Most of the Dr.s and residents are pretty professional and would be offended should they get a weggie let alone be felt up in a public place. But just remember if a Dr. cheats and divorces to marry one of these nurses will he in turn do it again to her. What goes around comes around I say.
  3. by   Natkat
    Quote from ruby vee
    i've seen this sort of behavior at work -- even walked in on it once. it's unprofessional, but not my business.

    what bothers me more is the nurses i've seen date patients, or the nurse i knew who had an affair with her patient's husband while the lady lay dying. that one really upset me!
    wow, i don't know about the law in your state, but in our state (texas) a nurse cannot date a patient. it's grounds for losing one's license. i don't know if that would extend to the family member of a patient but i think it might.
  4. by   gr8rnpjt
    Having been the recipient of untrue rumors and outright lies before, I have to put in my two cents-things are not always what they seem. And nurses being who they are, tend to like to create drama when thier own lives are maybe too boring. I worked on a busy tele unit on nights and frankly, I was way too busy to sit around and watch what everyone else did. If I did see anything that looked out of line, I was certainly too busy to do or say anything about it. I would just ignore it.
    But a harmless comment about a situation I was in was blown way out of proportion and turned into an ugly rumor that spread throughout my unit. I was shunned and ignored terribly by many nurses on my unit who would rather believe the nasty rumor than to approach me and get the truth. Unfortunately, since the unit had many problems, I did not even find out about the rumor until it had blown way, way out of proportion and the damage was done. I was angry and disgusted that someone would twist my words out of context to the point that a harmless comment was turned into a major sex scandal that turned my unit upside down and turned everyone from the other shifts against me. Luckily, I had long been planning on moving on, and had another job lined up and never actually had to experience the unpleasantness for long. Had I stayed, the other nurses would have made my life miserable. Fortunately, they were left with their anger, and I was gone, so they had no one to take the brunt of their bad manners and behaviour.
    I think any time you work in a pressure cooker setting, you will have lazy nurses who have nothing better to do than gossip. The only advise I would have is for everyone to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, and do your job, which does not include speculation and rumor spreading. Get to work, and stay busy. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
  5. by   katfishLPN
    Quote from susiegirl
    I'm glad this doesn't seem to be as rampant as I thought. I think this hospital has a bad reputation for it. They have a very progressive attitude in treating RN's as equals, which is great, but I think it makes some people think they can behave in a less professional way. A friend of mine is good friends with an MD's wife, and when her husband had an affair (not with an RN, a resident), the marriage counselor told her that 25% of his practice was MD's from this hospital that had affairs with coworkers (mostly RN's and techs, but also other MDs)
    Oh I've seen it.
  6. by   ortess1971
    If I were to walk in on 2 people having relations while at work, yes, that's inappropriate and should be reported. Most of the behavior that the OP mentioned in her post, though, would not offend me. I still think it would benefit her more to just ignore it, as long as she's not getting verbally or physically harrassed. I guess my point is, pick your battles. There are a lot more pressing issues for nurses these days.
  7. by   kate1114
    I don't make it my business to get into other peoples' affairs. That being said, if the people involved are flaunting it, it becomes VERY uncomfortable for everyone.

    I just quit a job in a NICU where several of the nurses and techs would have sexually revealing discussions (including positions, techniques, etc.) in front of the parents, and sometimes with them. There was one attending who would also "get in on the action". This really offended me, because it tended to put all of us in a bad light. If you're in the breakroom with others who enjoy the conversation, fine. Heck, you can talk about it all you want in the unit as long as no family members overhear. But it looks SO unprofessional to have discussions about vibrators and penis size in front of parents.:angryfire

    Also, I had a couple of day shift nurses who would leave out really important parts of report (i.e. presence of a chest tube, need for blood cultures since they failed to get them on their shift) because 90% of the report was about the baby's "huge" penis, including speculation on the child's "true father" because of ethnic stereotypes. Lovely.

    That being said, this is the ONLY place I've worked (out of 6 separate units) where I have seen this sort of behavior. This does not include sex talks where all involved are consenting to the conversation and no patients/family members are around. To me, that's a whole different story.
  8. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from susiegirl
    Hi, this is my first post, but I needed to express my feelings about this somewhere.
    The reason I'm posting is because I'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. I work at a very large hospital and I know, or know of, so many RN's that had or are having affairs with married MD's. It's sickening to me. Some of these women just don't care that they are destroying a family as long as they get to snag a rich MD. Of course, the MD's are at fault too, but the things these women do to get their attention are shameful. One woman in my department would constantly touch one of the MD's (pretty soon after she started working there), sit next to him and put her feet on his lap or even his shoulder, gave him a wedgie, etc. I always saw her initiating the inappropriate behavior. They ended up having an affair. This is just one example. A lot of nurses come to work-related events, like dinner after a C.E. lecture, dressed in super low-cut, tight outfits, etc. They talk about sex and inappropriate stuff with the MD's. They behave in a way that makes it obvious that they are willing to throw themselves at them any time they want. It's not just a few, it's a lot of them, and that's only the ones I know. I'm not an envious person, and I am very attractive, so this is not jealousy on my part. But I have seen the devastation that affairs cause in my own family, and I would never ever behave in a way that may end up breaking up a marriage. I guess I could consider filing a sexual harrasment claim, but I don't thing that would change a thing. I hate that people may assume I'm like that too just because they see so many acting this way.
    How about MYOB? If you don't like the direction of the conversation, either try to change it or just go elsewhere.
  9. by   cjj0603
    I have seen it all in other professions/industries. But I haven't seen this kind of behavior at the 2 hospitals I've worked at. If I did, I probably would ignore it unless patient care was being affected. But I would like to know where a nurse can work and actually have enough free time to flirt etc. We have just about zero downtime, unfortunately.
  10. by   Daytonite
    Quote from susiegirl
    hi, this is my first post, but i needed to express my feelings about this somewhere.
    the reason i'm posting is because i'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. i work at a very large hospital and i know, or know of, so many rn's that had or are having affairs with married md's. it's sickening to me. some of these women just don't care that they are destroying a family as long as they get to snag a rich md. of course, the md's are at fault too, but the things these women do to get their attention are shameful. one woman in my department would constantly touch one of the md's (pretty soon after she started working there), sit next to him and put her feet on his lap or even his shoulder, gave him a wedgie, etc. i always saw her initiating the inappropriate behavior. they ended up having an affair. this is just one example. a lot of nurses come to work-related events, like dinner after a c.e. lecture, dressed in super low-cut, tight outfits, etc. they talk about sex and inappropriate stuff with the md's. they behave in a way that makes it obvious that they are willing to throw themselves at them any time they want. it's not just a few, it's a lot of them, and that's only the ones i know. i'm not an envious person, and i am very attractive, so this is not jealousy on my part. but i have seen the devastation that affairs cause in my own family, and i would never ever behave in a way that may end up breaking up a marriage. i guess i could consider filing a sexual harrasment claim, but i don't thing that would change a thing. i hate that people may assume i'm like that too just because they see so many acting this way.
    with all due respect, and despite what you say, it is a psychological principle that what we often loathe and detest we spot immediately as what we feel are serious character flaws in others. then, we give ourselves away emotionally when we are the only ones protesting so vehemently about them. this is all about behavior. unless these behaviors are forbidden in a facility policy manual somewhere, shame and inappropriateness have no place of importance except in your own beliefs. they are then your problems that you need to keep under your control. the way i see it your choices are (1) do nothing and go about your job, or (2) quit and find work at another place if this situation is too much for you to tolerate. if you decide to involve yourself in some way, be prepared for an ugly fight because you are messing with people's freedom to act as they wish. my philosophy when i am a staff nurse: go to work, do my job and keep my mouth shut about the shenanigans i might see my co-workers engaged in unless it affects patient safety. this is america. we are free. this is the price of freedom.
  11. by   firstyearstudent
    Do you work at General Hospital?
  12. by   MarySunshine
    I have never seen this behavior either. I don't think it's the norm for a hospital unit (thank goodness). I hear a lot of gossip about other things, though. That's the norm for EVERYWHERE.
  13. by   kukukajoo
    I honestly belileve that some workplaces actually encourage this behavior more than others!!! Like it is part of the company itself or something.

    I worked at a large company for a few years and saw so much I could have written a steamy novel about the place! It was way over the top and more so blatant and the company let it continue.

    It was kind of ironic that the HR person giving the sexual harrassment training had slept with half the men there and even once asked at a party who was taking her home since hubby (who worked for company also) was out of town!!

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