Call me a pansy, thin-skinned, not cut out for nursing, but hey I'm here, I'm me, and I'm staying as a nurse so just please help!
I worked on a med-surg floor in a top hospital in Florida, Magnet hospital with residency training and all that.
So, like every nurse, I made mistakes, a lot of them my first six months, but astonishingly I received the harshest criticism from actions I made that actually were not mistakes.
For example... An IM doc called me to ask me to call Liver doctor to ask what is plan for patients worsening encephalopathy. I called Liver doc as that was who had last written note, not PA or NP. Anyway, she gives me the scoop and I call the IM Doc back. I thought everything was cool and it was over. Then, a NP from the Liver doc's team comes up to me in the hall later that day and gives me a PRINTED page from a book with the definitions and signs and symptoms of each stage of encephalopathy, and how the patient doesn't have encephalopathy. And do you know what makes me mad? My reaction. I take her piece of paper and say ok and walk away. Then I go and cry in the break room. I didn't tell her "hey why don't you give this to the IM doc who used that word?" or "Unbelievable you have time to go to your library of books and print out this article for me!". Why did I not do those things? Because we were in the middle of the hallway, I was busy (99% of the time we were understaffed, and call lights are always beeping). I did what was quickest. Later in the day I went to my clinician to tell her about it and she started an email to the department right away and said that it was NOT ok. I never found out if anything happened.
Another example is when we had a cardiologist from a private group come see our patient who was unresponsive, i think on a vent (can't remember) and on telemetry. His note was so lousy. There was barely any patient information on it. So she ended up having some weird rhythms, and while he probably knew about it, I couldn't be sure. I have to cover my butt. So, I called him twice that day for two different rhythms. He ended up being really rude to me and telling me to calm down and I don't need to be calling him. Of course, he is telling me this while I'm in a patient room and I just say Ok, sure, Ok, because I don't want my other patient (A&OX4) to hear me in an argument on the phone. I wanted to say "your note has barely any information in it and we have no idea what you know about this patient". But I took it, and I still remember it.
Has anyone gone through these things? Did you ever freeze, out of shock, or business, or inappropriate place/time for convo and not have said what you wanted? How do you get over it?
I know one reason why I'm not over these things, even tho they happened over a year and a half ago, is because I'm not working now. I am staying at home with my infant and I often think about going back to work. I always question myself, "will I be strong enough, quick enough, and skilled enough that I can respond in a way that will defend myself and stay professional?" I have these questions because I haven't had the opportunity to test myself yet. So, in the meantime, here I am. Any words of advice or personal experience would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
