Am I allowed to start a donation to help deceased pt funeral funds??

Nurses Relations

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I had the pleasure of caring for a very kind young gentleman who was in the hospital for an extended time and we were all rooting for him to get better. Unfortunately he did not make it and the staff on our floor felt pretty bummed. I have always been able to separate myself from these types of things just because as a Nurse that's what one has to do. This just was very abrupt, sudden and sad when it happened. We talked about what he would do when he got out and how he was feeling better just the evening before this happened. I know he had his mom and sister and not sure if he worked. Would it be against some nursing rules I can't think of in the State of Texas to reach out to the family and see if we can make a donation for his funeral expenses? At the least I want to send a card from the unit to his mother.... Any help is much appreciated.

Altra, BSN, RN

6,255 Posts

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

IMO, this oversteps professional bounds and I would not consider it. Speak privately with a charge nurse or manager to see if the sympathy card is something that your unit would do, and don't be surprised if the answer is no.

WheresMyPen

129 Posts

You have a big heart for wanting to do this but It's unethical and could be a violation. Don't do it. Speak with your manager about something else you guys could do.

Julius Seizure

1 Article; 2,282 Posts

Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.

I think a card from the unit is appropriate, if it is something you do for every patient death.

Similarly, I think the donation fund would only be appropriate if it was a general fund for all patient deaths, not specific to this family. And then it still may need to be hospital wide, not unit wide. This one is a little more iffy.

I have worked in units with bereavement committees where they send cards to the family after death, and at the first holiday season, and at the one year more. I think they also sent a hospital representative to the funeral when the family wishes. But it is always for all patients, not for just one family....which could be construed as unfair and favoritism and can cause trouble.

LbyNrs

7 Posts

Thanks for the feedback. I was on the fence too.... I see how it can be misconstrued. : ( I just wish there was more I could do...

Julius Seizure

1 Article; 2,282 Posts

Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.

You did a lot. You helped support his family and care for him when he needed it. The family will remember that, and I'm sure they recognize and are grateful that you cared.

Specializes in ED, Pedi Vasc access, Paramedic serving 6 towns.

I would say no, don't even reach out. You have to have professional boundaries for your own wellbeing! Don't get to emotionally involved with patients and families or you may start having emotional problems related to the loss or stress.

You helped them already as a nurse. Draw the line now and let them grieve as a family.

Annie

Emergent, RN

4,242 Posts

Specializes in ER.

Keep your eyes out for a gofundme account started. People start them all the time for death expenses. Then you and your coworkers can donate. You can be anonymous.

loriangel14, RN

6,931 Posts

Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Is there no government benefit that will help? I am in Canada and the family gets an amount as a death benefit that helps with the funeral.

tara07733

102 Posts

Is there no government benefit that will help? I am in Canada and the family gets an amount as a death benefit that helps with the funeral.

Nope, there is none of that here. I've seen so many GoFundMe accts set up solely for funerals because the families were poor and/or had no insurance, especially for the death of a child.

LbyNrs

7 Posts

Definitely keeping my eyes open for one just in case we can do anonymous donation. I've been through this a lot but have never felt this bad for the pt, family, situation especially bc as a nurse you question, did I do everything I could?? Like I said I don't get emotional EVER and realize I did my part and cared and must move on. This post has been somewhat therapeutic. Lol. Thank u all

DeeAngel

830 Posts

Do not get involved with this, it's professional overstepping. An anonymous donation is OK but anything else, no.

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