a nurse's life

  1. Someone sent this to me via email & I thought it was really cute...Hope you guys enjoy.
    > > Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went
    > > straight to hell?
    > > > A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work anymore!
    > >
    > > You know you're a nurse if.....
    > >
    > > You believe every patient needs TLC:
    > >
    > > Thorazine,
    > > Lorazepam and
    > > Compazine.
    > >
    > > You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley
    > > one
    > > night.
    > >
    > > You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
    > >
    > > Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.
    > >
    > > You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in
    > > town
    > > by heart.
    > >
    > > You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
    > >
    > > Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
    > >
    > > When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your
    > > shoes.
    > >
    > > Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the
    > > scissors
    > > and clamps in your pockets.
    > >
    > > You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing
    > > you
    > > than he can.
    > >
    > > You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to
    > > deliver.
    > >
    > > You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and
    > > triggers "flash backs."
    > >
    > > You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if
    > > someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
    > >
    > > You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another
    > > table throw up.
    > >
    > > You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you
    > > became
    > > a nurse.
    > >
    > > Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of
    > > them
    > > on you.
    > >
    > > You can intubate your friends at parties.
    > >
    > > You don't get excited about blood loss...unless it's your own.
    > >
    > > You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince
    > >
    > > the physician is more difficult."
    > >
    > > You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.
    > >
    > > You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker
    > > and to HOLLER if they need help.
    > >
    > > Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
    > >
    > > Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.
    > >
    > > When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of
    > > the answer.
    > >
    > > You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery
    > > waiting lines.
    > >
    > > You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner,
    > > break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.
    > >
    > > You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll
    > > drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
    > >
    > > You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
    > >
    > > IF YOU ARE NOT A NURSE, AND HAVE BEEN SENT THIS BY A FRIEND WHO
    > > IS, IT'S JUST TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND OUR MINDSET, AND "QUESTIONABLE"
    > > MENTAL STATUS/ INSANITY. MOST OF THE TIME WE FUNCTION, IN SPITE OF THIS
    > > SICK
    > > SENSE OF HUMOR, FAIRLY NORMALLY, AND VERY RESPONSIBLY! BELIEVE ME, THIS
    > > IS HOW WE ALL THINK, ALL THE TIME! SCARY, HUH ?
    > >
    > >
    >
    > :roll
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   renerian
    Liked the hell one.....

    renerian:chuckle
  4. by   hoolahan
    LOL! But eating popcorn out of the clean bedpan...eeeewwww!!!! I draw the line there!
  5. by   jacolaur
    Did you make those up!!!! They are very funny!!!:roll :chuckle :roll :chuckle
  6. by   LPNtoBSNstudent
    Those were great, Thanks for sharing!
  7. by   flowerchild
    You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
    LOL, been there!
  8. by   nursedawn67
    Too funny...but yet in a strange way soooooo true!

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