A Nurses Christmas Poem

  1. A Nurses Christmas
    Author Unknown

    T'was the night before Christmas
    & all through the floor,
    The Lasix was filling the foley's galore.
    Stockings were worn, to prevent emboli,
    They came in two sizes: knee, and thigh-high.

    The patients were nestled half-assed in their beds,
    While visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.
    We in our scrubs, and they in their gowns,
    Fashions created to hide extra pounds.

    When down in E.R. it became such a zoo,
    They called with admissions, for me and for you.
    They're coming, they're going, they're looking the same,
    My patience for patients is starting to wane.

    Another call light is ringing, the patient expounds,
    "I have not had my peri-care, please send someone down."
    About now delegation seems a good plan,
    We pass onto others, the needs of this man.

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But Santa himself, and 8 tiny reindeer.
    He states that he came from Central Supply,
    To bring us LR, NS, and D5.

    The doctor then scribbles what no one could read,
    Orders instruct us to measure their pee.
    As we try to decipher illegible words,
    We find a new order to guaiac their turds.

    The next shift arrives; our day is now through,
    Only to discover emesis inside of our shoe!
    We give them report and pass on the facts,
    And tell them of duoderm lining the cracks.

    And the Nurses exclaimed as they drove out of site,
    Let there be Ambien for all, and to all a good night!

    Last edit by tom on Dec 24, '13
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   sharpeimom
    thanks, brian! i needed that today.

    after a morning spent having my teeth cleaned, paying bills or attempting to pay bills online, only to be told that computers were busy or down, and an emergency vet run (all is fine now) that silly poem was just what i needed.
  4. by   Brian
    I laughed when I read it too! Glad you enjoyed it.
  5. by   futuresrna
    Awesome! Thanks for posting.
  6. by   whichone'spink
    I am so going to print this for both the jobs I work.
  7. by   NurseLoveJoy88
    Thanks for posting this Brian. I enjoyed this.
  8. by   Iridescent Orchid
    Great and creative poem! Thanks for sharing it with us!
  9. by   beckster_01
    I loved Santa's sleigh... only nurses get excited about such gifts

    Makes me glad I don't have to be back until Monday though...
  10. by   ekmaggie
    I have been retired for 20 years but the poem brings it all back like it was yesterday!!!
  11. by   Cheyenne RN,BSHS
    I miss you Brian and all that you meant to us.

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