A Note of Deep Concern and Worry

My colleagues of all stages, please take a moment... Nurses Announcements Archive Article

There has been a rash of suicides and suicide attempts in my community and it has driven me to write this note.

After the devastating loss of a nursing student, I just....I don't even know where to begin. So I'll start:

Please, please, please remember that in taking care of others, one most take care of oneself. Please remember no matter how dark, how down, how trapped you feel, there are people that care--that love you--that want to help.

Surround yourselves by people who are a positive influence. Give yourself the benefit of people who will boost you, watch out for you, and save you from yourself. Get out of bad or toxic relationships, regardless of who that relationship involves.

Be your own advocate.

Do not be ashamed of what you are feeling or what you are thinking. It doesn't matter if "someone else has it worse". Please do not, for one moment, think that if you sought help from someone who supported you, that you would be turned away.

Just talk, out loud, about what is going on. Let people help.

There is no bill worth more than you life.

There is no test score that should make you feel as if you are invisible.

There is no relationship that determines your worthiness of love or life.

There is no day bad enough not to merit a dawn.

Suicide is the number 10 cause of death in this country. This is a fact.

And I, for one, decry a society that believes that depression is just a bad case of the blues. I have seen the black dog up close and personal, thank you, and it is very real. It is a medical condition. And it can kill.

So I declare myself a safe haven.

If you need a shoulder, I am here. I am not the most empathetic individual ever created, and I may not be able to fix it, but I can listen. I can be genuinely present in the moment.

I am here.

If you are in need of help, please remember the following resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

Google free counseling services for your area. There are many.

Keep in mind that there are counseling services offered through many employers.

Do your absolute best to get help when you feel the slouch of depression. Listen to your loved ones that worry, that ask you over and over if you are okay. They are seeing something you are not--trust them. When they tell you they love you, internalize it, believe it.

Please, take care of each other and yourselves.

~~CP~~

Written off the cuff. Grammar and spelling mistakes are all mine.

Thank you for bringing this to light. So unbelievably important to address!

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Suicide cases?Not just in your area CP, that's what I realized after my dad ended his life almost 8 months ago! There were a lot of people in our place who ended their life before and even after his death..I can still feel the pain of his loss,,he has depression! and there was a time I really felt disappointed about myself, being a nurse who had not done anything to save my father's life!I feel devastated! But life goes on,,it must...

I hope you'll feel OK soon!!

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Yup,

Lost my little brother to suicide.....its tragic...

I just dont understand why most of the world refuses to take mental health seriously....

Mind Boggling......

Anyway fellow peers, remember to make assessing for the possibility of self harm everytime you assess your pts a priority

At HCA where I work it is standard procedure and at the VA where I trained it is mandatory.......

Also please remember, if you are familiar with someone who is very depressed and suddenly they take a 180 turn and seem very happy....this is the time to be on guard for suicide....often it does not mean they are getting better...it means they have a plan in place to end their pain.....

We were all elated when my brother turned the corner and seemed so happy after not being happy for so long, then we were shocked the next day when the police came to our door......

Be vigilant...

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Thank you for this. I have battled with depression since I was a teenager. We have to be reminded that there is help out there. Sometimes we have to be willing to seek it out. Thank you CP for posting this.

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I am sorry that you have lost people in your community.

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Specializes in kids.

Thx Cheese......profoundly written and deeply felt.....We all need to be aware of ourselves and those around us. I have lost 2 students to suicide...I think I will print this and hang it in my office.

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Specializes in telemetry, cardiopulmonary stepdown, LTC. Hospice.

You rock. You are lighting a candle rather than cursing the darkness. Nurses NEED ONE ANOTHER so much! Just wanted to tell you this is one of the best things I've read in a long time. :)

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Specializes in MDS/ UR.

You are so right. There is no way from this if you are successful.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

I also lost an 'online' college classmate 3 years ago. He was an LPN working in the ICU at an area hospital in his state. According to him, he was the last LPN at his hospital, as they were no longer using them there. His continued employment was contingent upon his passing his clinical weekend exam and graduating from college. He was very confident in his skills as an LPN. I cautioned him against that confidence for the upcoming exam as well as against disclosing his exam date to numerous others. He TRULY had a lot riding on this exam....more than just the cost of funding a repeat exam if he should fail. Well, the weekend came and went.....no word. Ok. We were all going through our own successes/failures, anxiety of upcoming NCLEX/repeat clinicals, etc. after two weeks had gone by and I finally received an IM from him.....only it wasn't him, it was his brother. I thought it WAS him playing a joke or something. The 'brother' finally said that he was called to the home where police had found a note explaining that the deceased had failed "some exam" and ultimately lost his job. Still not believing that this was serious, I went to the college's website for enrolled students and started a thread asking had anyone heard from 'John'. One student said yeas. What a sigh of relief! Great! When? She said 2weeks ago. I was like NO!!!! I need to know if ANYONE has heard from him since XYZ date. No one had. So I went back to the IM to the 'brother' , more believing that this was actually happening but still hoping it was not. The brother was looking for anyone who was close with him that could shed some light on the location of important papers to tend to the usual business affairs of a loved one. Finally there was confirmation from another student, as we ALL started to investigate by checking the local papers, obituaries, etc. this student checked with the coroner's office and there he was listed.Now, and since then, everyone that asked me about the college that I attended or any online learning experience, I tell them to be SURE to become a part of the peer network at whatever college he/she attends. Developing a circle of friends with those who are going through the roller coaster of emotions with exams and studies is a MUST for the support aspect! And I also caution against disclosing an exam date to others. You have leave an open avenue to save yourself embarrassment and humiliation should you not be successful if it is THAT important to you. I've never been one to boast about succeeding but I am one to bury my head in the sand if I fail. And I've failed at many things in life that people didn't even know I was attempting until my mission was accomplished. My own family didn't know I was close to graduating UNTIL it was done.Never assume that a person that is outwardly together has his/her act together. Sometimes that outward strength simply means that a person does not have an available to shoulder to cry on.

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Specializes in telemetry, cardiopulmonary stepdown, LTC. Hospice.

That is heartbreaking! I had no idea there was so much suicide involved in the nursing profession. I've had terrible anxiety connected to it, and still fight it, but it should be telling the industry something when there is so much stress on people that things like this happen. Terrible!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Great post.

I have attempted suicide (three hospitalizations), self-harmed (last cut was a couple of weeks ago) and have seriously contemplated suicide within the last few months. I don't have a support system; I really am on my own. It is sad that people don't seem to give a shyt about those with mental illness. The ignorance that surrounds it is mind boggling. We are seen as either psychotic or melodramatic attention seekers and not people who are in need of emotional support. The stereotypes really disturb me. Some of the most brilliant individuals have suffered from a mental illness, including Abe Lincoln, Sir Isaac Newton, Sylvia Plath, Vivien Leigh, Winston Churchill, Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Charles Dickens, Beethoven, Marilyn Monroe, etc. Just to name a few.

I have found the nursing profession and nurses in general to not be very sympathetic. My very own clinical instructors from last quarter failed me despite knowing that I was suffering from anxiety. I have found nurses to be very callous about this issue, with the exception of psych nurses (and noticed how med-surge and other non-psych nurses accuse mental health nurses about not being "real" nurses). It is sad. Very few people in my real life know about my mental illness and for good reason.

At the end of the day, people are going to kill themselves if they want. All you can do is let them know of other options and listen to them.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.
Great post.I have attempted suicide (three hospitalizations), self-harmed (last cut was a couple of weeks ago) and have seriously contemplated suicide within the last few months. I don't have a support system; I really am on my own. It is sad that people don't seem to give a shyt about those with mental illness. The ignorance that surrounds it is mind boggling. We are seen as either psychotic or melodramatic attention seekers and not people who are in need of emotional support. The stereotypes really disturb me. Some of the most brilliant individuals have suffered from a mental illness, including Abe Lincoln, Sir Isaac Newton, Sylvia Plath, Vivien Leigh, Winston Churchill, Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Charles Dickens, Beethoven, Marilyn Monroe, etc. Just to name a few. I have found the nursing profession and nurses in general to not be very sympathetic. My very own clinical instructors from last quarter failed me despite knowing that I was suffering from anxiety. I have found nurses to be very callous about this issue, with the exception of psych nurses (and noticed how med-surge and other non-psych nurses accuse mental health nurses about not being "real" nurses). It is sad. Very few people in my real life know about my mental illness and for good reason.At the end of the day, people are going to kill themselves if they want. All you can do is let them know of other options and listen to them.
For the simple fact that YOU ARE HERE on this website means that you are NOT alone. Real quickly, though before I move on, nursing instructors are NOT supposed to be concerned with your anxiety in regards to whether or not you pass or fail. You HAVE to make the grade and be able to perform appropriately as a nurse because someone's life depends on YOU, the nurse. Now, what's going on with you now means that you will have a positive testimony to your patients with similar issues that you WILL encounter from time to time in your career as a nurse. Your survival and determination to overcome NOW depends on their survival LATER. It's not that nurses don't care about you......from where I stand, it's more like our profession has become more of a mechanical business in a field run by humans that's the driving force, which is, for the most part, out of our hands. We and YOU, need to band together to reclaim our profession. It's not you; it's not your instructors; it's not us. It's all politics and economics and the advancing age of technology. We need you to focus so that you can help us as much as we can help you. You CAN make a difference here. So please, allow us to cry on your shoulders as you cry on ours. Then, we can wipe the tears away, develop OUR game plan, and reclaim OUR profession. Lots of us go home in tears EVERDAY because we are struggling to take care of people in a world that is being dictated by machines. Take yourself for example. Internally you feel horrible....no doubt. But your instructors have to go by what the NUMBERS say on the exam. They have too! When you graduate and sit for boards, the computer is not gonna look at the fact that you may have puked all over the mouse. It is only going to look at the NUMBERS when you click next. That is life now and i dont see it going back to the way it was many years ago. I failed my first LPN NCLEX on paper years ago because I was suffering from morning sickness.....too sick to study. The NUMBERS didn't care that I was carrying what turned out to be a fine young man. Afterwards, though, when I got it together, I became the worlds greatest nurse. Lol! Well,maybe not the greatest in the world, but my kids thought so once I threatened them. Lol! ANYWAY....

At the risk of sounding like an AA counselor, you are DEFINITELY not alone!

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