T'was the night before Christmas, & all through the
The Lasix was filling the foleys galore.
Stockings were worn, to prevent emboli,
They came in two sizes: knee, and thigh high.
The patients were nestled half out of their beds,
While visions of stool softeners danced in their
We in our scrubs
, and they in their gowns,
Fashions created to hide extra pounds.
When down in E.R. it became such a zoo,
They called with admissions, for me and for you.
They're coming, they're going, they're looking the
My patience for patients is starting to wane.
Now call lights are ringing, the patient expounds,
"I have not had my peri-care, send someone down."
And now delegation seems a good plan,
We pass onto others, the needs of this man.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa himself, and 8 tiny reindeer.
He states that he came from Cenral Supply,
To bring us LR, NS, and D5.
The doctors then scribbled what no one could read,
Orders for patients, to measure their pee.
We try to decipher illegible words,
Orders for patients, to guaiac their turds.
The new shift arriving, our day is now through,
How'd the stool and emesis get in my shoe?
We give them report and pass on the facts,
And tell of duoderm lining the cracks.
And the Nurses exclaimed as they drove out of site,
Ambien to all, and to all a good night!