1 year (semester) male nursing student having Doubts

  1. Hi guys,
    I have a dilemma. I just entered my first semester of the acutal Nursing Courses/ school. I did all my prerequisites at a community college. now that i'm taking nursing courses, i'm having doubts. Yes i'm struggling a bit. But now I may not have the encouragement or care to succeed, and sometimes I have doubts. I am the only guy in my class, well except for the older man .. sorry now offense, but yea basically yea i feel like i'm the only guy in class. I feel that as a guy i have pressure to succeed and such but idon't. Other than that, one teacher makes me not WANT to be a nurse. She is my clinical teacher. She always stops lecture and does a case study and tells us we should know all these symptoms and bla by now.. and i'm like "i can't do this" i don't think i am able to critically think and say "ok this patient has this, or because the pt. levels are low and bla bal then this and this" i can't . I was not that smart in high school and i am surprise to be in a university. but then again i dont' want to feel responsible for someones live... comes to my head.. i don't know.. but i know the teacher is probably freaking me out. I don't start clinicals until 2 weeks or less but i'm freaked out. She even told me in class that she doesn;t feel ready to put me on floor, as in a way that she just wanted me to quick. i know i am doing better than other students who have different, less strict clinical teacher as she is but is just this ONE teacher. but now this teacher has made me 2nd guess about nursing. I really didn't WANT to be a nurse in the first place. i jsut thought it would be something i could do. I don't havce a passion for it because i don't know what to expect. I know my mom is a nurse but she is fine with it and doesnt' complain about it. As for me, I don't feel like i have the mind of a BSN nurse. I feel like they have so much critical thinking pressure. what should i do? Go to a ADN program? more hands on? Should I just not do nursing? I think it benefititial for me because i always considered my self self centered. but i don't know. many girls in the class don't want me to drop out .. they want me to stay. my mom wants me to stay, she laughed at me when i told her i wanted to quit. She said that is normal and that i should stick with it because in the end its all worth it. but she was a nurse over 20 years ago in the philippines. i would think it was 10 x s easier back then. I don't know.... should i just drop out. try being a CNA first. for one thing this school is expensive, its a private school. I can just go save money at a ADN program, if i wasn't so sure about nursing, but many are telling me since i'm already in the program i shoudl stay bc even at ADN programs, there are long waiting list. ahh.. i hate my life. btw... i am so confuse with my life. i'm 21. i am a license cosmetologist, but i hated working in the hair field because i don't like socializing with peolple too much.. and one may say "you are going to nursing and you would have to do that" but i don't know where or what else i could do.... I mean i may look like a person who socialize... young and (good looking) but no.. i'm so shy at times that i don't even know what to say bc my mind goes blank. help?
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  2. 17 Comments

  3. by   bucknangler
    Stick with it. I'm 22 year old male and have found nursing school to be just like you said. I still have my doubts. I still think I should have gotten my degree in History, or Economics, or even Biology. As a male, we want to feel accomplished and successful, and no guy grows up wanting to be a "nurse". We want to be doctors, lawyers, navy seals, fireman, etc.. Despite the hardships that nursing school presents, stick with it. Nursing as a career is changing with every generation. I graduate this May with my BSN and am glad I have sticken with the program. I know I have the smarts and skill to carry my future to any corner of the job market and be successful, and out of all the undergraduate degrees I could have choosen, nursing is by far the best. Though we study more than other degrees, though we get paid far less than what we deserve, and though male nurses are labeled as "men not smart enough to be doctors", you chose nursing for a reason and even though you are having a hard time bringng that reason to light, stick with it. Because 2 years from now, when you are in the ICU and applying for anesthesia or a nurse practitioner program, you will be giving the same advice you will receive on this forum to some kid who just started nursing school.
  4. by   AnalegnaRN
    I am a junior year nursing student (I'm not a dude) and I have doubts everyday. Am I going to make it ... am I going to kill someone and more but you know what this is something that I really want for what ever reason.

    I think maybe you need to look deep down inside your self and find out if this is something you will want to do for the rest of your life What happens if you finish, go through all the crap of nsg school and then you don't want to do it? You spent big $$$, big time, big stress, lost some hair gained some weight all for no reason.

    You have to look deep and no one can really help you with this decision but you know what if its that one teacher thats making you question what your doing tell her to shove it and just get through. Well don't tell her to shove it but you know get everything you can from her and move on, stay the course... personally though I have asked a few people is it worth it and a most of the time I get a YES
    I damn sure hope so ...:spin:
  5. by   SuesquatchRN
    Honey, do YOU want to be a nurse or does your mom want you to be a nurse?

    Without passion, nursing is tough. Heck, WITH passion nursing is tough.

    There are worse things than realizing that you don't like something and pursuing something else.
  6. by   SarasotaRN2b
    Quote from Kennyboy117
    Hi guys,
    I have a dilemma. I just entered my first semester of the acutal Nursing Courses/ school. I did all my prerequisites at a community college. now that i'm taking nursing courses, i'm having doubts. Yes i'm struggling a bit. But now I may not have the encouragement or care to succeed, and sometimes I have doubts. I am the only guy in my class, well except for the older man .. sorry now offense, but yea basically yea i feel like i'm the only guy in class. I feel that as a guy i have pressure to succeed and such but idon't. Other than that, one teacher makes me not WANT to be a nurse. She is my clinical teacher. She always stops lecture and does a case study and tells us we should know all these symptoms and bla by now.. and i'm like "i can't do this" i don't think i am able to critically think and say "ok this patient has this, or because the pt. levels are low and bla bal then this and this" i can't . I was not that smart in high school and i am surprise to be in a university. but then again i dont' want to feel responsible for someones live... comes to my head.. i don't know.. but i know the teacher is probably freaking me out. I don't start clinicals until 2 weeks or less but i'm freaked out. She even told me in class that she doesn;t feel ready to put me on floor, as in a way that she just wanted me to quick. i know i am doing better than other students who have different, less strict clinical teacher as she is but is just this ONE teacher. but now this teacher has made me 2nd guess about nursing. I really didn't WANT to be a nurse in the first place. i jsut thought it would be something i could do. I don't havce a passion for it because i don't know what to expect. I know my mom is a nurse but she is fine with it and doesnt' complain about it. As for me, I don't feel like i have the mind of a BSN nurse. I feel like they have so much critical thinking pressure. what should i do? Go to a ADN program? more hands on? Should I just not do nursing? I think it benefititial for me because i always considered my self self centered. but i don't know. many girls in the class don't want me to drop out .. they want me to stay. my mom wants me to stay, she laughed at me when i told her i wanted to quit. She said that is normal and that i should stick with it because in the end its all worth it. but she was a nurse over 20 years ago in the philippines. i would think it was 10 x s easier back then. I don't know.... should i just drop out. try being a CNA first. for one thing this school is expensive, its a private school. I can just go save money at a ADN program, if i wasn't so sure about nursing, but many are telling me since i'm already in the program i shoudl stay bc even at ADN programs, there are long waiting list. ahh.. i hate my life. btw... i am so confuse with my life. i'm 21. i am a license cosmetologist, but i hated working in the hair field because i don't like socializing with peolple too much.. and one may say "you are going to nursing and you would have to do that" but i don't know where or what else i could do.... I mean i may look like a person who socialize... young and (good looking) but no.. i'm so shy at times that i don't even know what to say bc my mind goes blank. help?
    Well, reading your post...I wanted to make a couple of comments. First, feeling some anxiety especially during the first semester of nursing school is very normal. Are the doubts new? Or did you have doubts even while you were getting your prereqs? I would say that if you have had doubts for a while, well, then maybe nursing isn't for you and you are not pursuing your goals, but possibly your mom's? If they are new...again, it is normal.

    It can seem easy to put alot of this on the CI, but your post rings of insecurity and this is what the CI is seeing. You seem to be projecting your anxieties on her/him when she/he is just getting you all ready for clinicals. They are not going to be able to babysit you and be with you every moment of clinicals...they need to know that when you go on the floor that you will be able to act somewhat independent and safely. No, I don't think that she wants you to quit...but she does want you to step up.

    I'm sure that it can seem kind of lonely to be the only young male, but it seems as though you have a great support with your classmates...search them out, maybe they can help you get through some of this anxiety that you have even if it is only having them share their own experiences.

    Ultimately, you have to make the decision...but I do feel that if you got into the nursing program, they saw something in your application that says that you deserve to be there. Don't give up on yourself.

    Kris
  7. by   swatch007
    Kennyboy, listen up my friend! Nursing is just a job. Don't feel bad if you think you don't have the passion for it or if you are in doubt. The real question here is what do you want to do in your life? YOu'll have to leave your mother's nest soon or build a beter one for yourself.

    Many people take the same action for different reasons. You can produce the same result even if your reason for being a nursing student is different than theirs -your classmates.

    You cannot run a car with an empty tank. You can't endure hardships if you don't find your motivation for pursuing this nursing careeer.
    How about having your own house, car and other things you like by taking care of your patients when you become a nurse. Other nurses are motivated by their desire to help. You will produce the same result if you do your job as a nurse, so you don't have to subscribe to others' more dramatic reasons for being nurse.

    Even if all the students in your class were male and there was only one female, your mind would find other negative things to focus on because you don't have a motivation to be there. In short, you have to stop your mind for being fixated on negative things by finding your own reasons why it is important for you to pursue this career.

    So you really have to wake up yourself because you are not always young.
  8. by   TheOldGuy
    I'm probably going to draw a lot of flak for this but .....

    Nursing is hard. Life is short. If you don't feel drawn to it, you shouldn't do it. Too many people take up space in Nursing Schools who drop out after 2 years.

    If you were saying that you had second thoughts because the material is tough and you worry about whether you will do a good job but you felt like it was what you supposed to do, then I would say "hang in there bro - you can make it!" But what I am hearing you say is that you are miserable in school and wondering what you are doing there. If you think school is miserable ....

    On the other hand, you might just be having a bad day and will wake up tomorrow, have some nice little old lady thank you for something and feel great!

    But really, ask yourself why you are doing this. Someone said that bottom line, nursing is just a job. Would you want to be cared for by someone who really felt that way? It may sound corny but I feel that nursing is a calling. People aren't "doctored" back to good health, they're nursed.

    Either way, I wish you the best in what you decide to do - just make sure its your decision - not your mom's or your instructor's or any of us responding.

    My 2 cents.....
  9. by   rclimbr
    I am also a guy in nursing school and most of your insecurities will go away once you get into clinicals. One comment did make me want to reply, I think that every one "expects" you to do well be cause they are playing off the traditional male-female roles, whereas the guys are suppose to be over confident in their abilities. The older guy in your class feels the same way he just doesn't show it as much.
    The only advise that I have is know your own abilities and build on your weaknesses. Most of all don't worry about what everyone else thinks about you.
  10. by   vashtee
    Kennyboy, should you decide to continue on to clnicals, I have one piece of advice for you: don't let your instructor (or your patient) know that you are experiencing anxiety. You need to appear confidant and certain, even if you are only faking it. If you don't, a difficult instructor will come down like a ton of bricks on you.

    BTW - speaking as a female student, I love having male students in class... it helps to balance out all that estrogen.
  11. by   MAISY, RN-ER
    Work with lots of male nurses and most are good, some are great, a few need more time. Either way, everyone is working and able to do the job.

    Very few people have true passion for their entire jobs. No one likes cleaning butts, or dumping urinals. I think there are facets of nursing that make it exciting, and many that are boring. Don't let someone else make up your mind.

    It would probably help if you were an emt or medical technician. I was a med tech(not cna) prior to being a nurse. We did ekg, phlebotomy, and many other nursing tasks. That would probably give you a decent idea if nursing may be in your future.

    Make sure you demand the same treatment as your classmates. No one should be singled out. Pair up with another classmate, practice your skills, and you will be ok!

    Good luck,
    Maisy
  12. by   RN1989
    BSN students are not required to utilize more critical thinking skills than an ADN student. As a nurse, you are required to have these skills to keep your patients alive - period. It is not something that everyone is born with but you can learn it. As of yet, you simply have not been in school long enough to absorb a large quantity of information. Your knowledge base is relatively small right now so you cannot expect yourself to have those critical thinking skills yet.

    You cannot judge yourself by your instructor. I had an instructor that tried to fail me because I dared to contradict her. Fortunately for me, she died in the middle of the course. When the new instructor took over she was appalled at the poor grades I had because they did not reflect what she saw. When I explained the situation, the new instructor went back and regraded my work and found that the now dead instructor had purposely given me poor grades that I did not deserve. Needless to say I passed the class.

    You are the only one who can decide if this is for you. Do not do it because you can't think of anything else to do. Or because your mother wants you to do it. If those are your only reasons, you will be sorry later. If you truly have doubts, seek assisance from a guidance counselor. They have tests that you can take that can help you pinpoint your strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes. Then you have a better idea of what career options are available for someone with your particular personality. Pick a career for yourself and don't let other people push you.
  13. by   obillyboynurse
    It's my oinion and welll you know what they say about them.
    It comes to you. and when it all clicks into place it is a rush. Like the man said Do what will make you happy. I've been in this for 10 years and thought about getting out. This is where I fit, and it wasn't always that easy to know it.

    When your patient looks at you ansd gives you a big smile or a hug and thanks you does it make you feel good?
    If it does then you might be where you need to be.

    Much Peace, Billy
  14. by   samschwinn
    KENNYBOY,
    HEY THERE, NURSING SCHOOL SUCKS AND THE TEACHERS THERE SUCK. i AM JUST FINISHING MY ADN AND LOVE NURSING BUT AM SCARED TO ENTER WITH SUCH A RESPONSIBILITY. YOU NEED TO STOP AND THINK WHY YOU WANT TO GO INTO NURSING. IT IS ALOT OF BULLCRAP TO GO THROUGH TO FIND OUT THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE NURSING. iF YOU LOVE NURSING IT IS WORTH IT AND THERE IS AN END IN SIGHT. I THINK YOU NEED TO STOP AND RE-EVALUATE BUT YOU BETTER AT LEAST FINISH THE FIRST SEMESTER, DONT SCREW YOURSELF OVER IN AN INSTANT.

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