"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant) - page 3

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i... Read More

  1. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

    Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

    It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

    I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

    In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
    Although I am not a nurse, this SAME exact situation has happened to me before. Co-workers complaining how they have to leave early and how THEY must have certain days off because they have children and I don't.

    Fortunately, NOT everyone is the same. Just that this co-worker of yours seems to be greedy and inconsiderate.

    It is such a rude scenario. My husband and pets are that important to me too.

    She has some nerve.

    Glad you ain't trading those days with her either...........LOL!

    Enjoy them.
  2. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from lilirn
    did she not know that as a nurse there is a strong possibility that she may be working holidays?

    i figure this, why do i deem one day in the entire year to make important when i should really be making every single day important to me and my children's relationship.

    besides, what better selfless act to give on the day to celebrate the birth of christ than taking care of someone that really needs you?
    you said nothing but the truth, very important i must say.
  3. by   Nurse Hatchett
    I do have children and very much wish I could spend every holiday home with them, but I chose to be a nurse and not have a 9-5 M-F job. Therefore I have to make some sacrifices. At my place of employment, on Christmas Day, everyone works 4 hrs. I love this myself. This way no one is stuck there on X-mas for 12 hrs. It works well for us. The other holidays, if you are sched. you work, but if you want it off, use vacation or someone will usually always trade days with you, so they can get the holiday pay. Marie...apparently this co-worker needs to learn to make sacrifices, or find another line of work. As if it is your fault she has children
  4. by   lisamc1RN
    My mother is a nurse and when we were growing up, she arranged Christmas Day around her nursing schedule. We already do this with my husband's schedule and will continue to do so when I'm a nurse. Christmas isn't about being together on Dec. 25. It's not even about opening presents or having a fancy dinner. I hope my kids get the true meaning (the birth of Christ and His importance to us) from the holiday.
  5. by   fergus51
    I am with you Marie. At our hospital everyone is supposed to work one shift of the holidays if they have to work it at all, like I should work Xmas Eve or Xmas day, Thanksgiving Eve or Thanksgiving Day, etc. However, since I worked every single holiday last year and this year, my manager gave me both Xmas eve and day off so I can go home to see my family. I have to go back to Canada, so I can't work any part of the holiday if I want to see my family at all. Since I worked it all last year, my manager said it was no problem to get it all off this year. I have already had about a dozen people see that I have it off and come to try to get me to work for them. The majority have been polite and just laughed it off when I said no (sort of like "I figured you must have something going on, but I had to ask, have fun in Canada"). One nurse did get a little rude with me. This happens to me at least once a year. My standard reply is "It's not like I had sex and you got pregnant. Having children was your choice." followed by "Not having kids doesn't mean I don't have a family. My mother probably wants to spend the holidays with me as much as you do with your kids". Every so often someone will make a snide remark about how it must be nice for me to not have to worry about how my children are coping with me being at work during an important holiday and I just say "Yeah, it sure is". People are starting to realize I am completely immune to guilt trips. I won't switch with those people out of spite.
  6. by   jkaee
    My neighbor was feeling sorry for me because I have to work 12 hrs on Christmas eve, and 8 hours on Christmas Day. I have 4 kids, and yeah, I'm not crazy about it, but that's the way it goes when you're a nurse. So, we'll have our celebration after I get home from work, instead of Christams Eve like we usually do.


    She stopped feeling sorry for me when I told her how much I'd be making an hour on Christmas Day, though.......
  7. by   jkaee
    Quote from fergus51
    Every so often someone will make a snide remark about how it must be nice for me to not have to worry about how my children are coping with me being at work during an important holiday and I just say "Yeah, it sure is". People are starting to realize I am completely immune to guilt trips. I won't switch with those people out of spite.

    Unfortunately, these parents are missing a great opportunity to teach their children about putting other people's needs in front of their own. My oldest daughter was disappointed about my holiday schedule this year, but I told her that my patients need me to care for them no matter what day of the year it is....and think of what joy and happiness I could bring to them on Christmas morning if I come into work with a cheerful and giving attitude instead of grouchy because I have to work. My kids (God willing) will have other Christmas days with me.....sometimes, for our patients, this is the last Christmas they will ever have. I want to give them one they will remember fondly.
  8. by   fergus51
    Quote from jkaee
    Unfortunately, these parents are missing a great opportunity to teach their children about putting other people's needs in front of their own. My oldest daughter was disappointed about my holiday schedule this year, but I told her that my patients need me to care for them no matter what day of the year it is....and think of what joy and happiness I could bring to them on Christmas morning if I come into work with a cheerful and giving attitude instead of grouchy because I have to work. My kids (God willing) will have other Christmas days with me.....sometimes, for our patients, this is the last Christmas they will ever have. I want to give them one they will remember fondly.
    Very true!!! I usually work all the holidays because I don't live near my family, so when I do have one off to go home I feel no need to justify it to coworkers. We all need to do our share.
  9. by   Lisa CCU RN
    I only read some of the replies so forgive me if this has already been said, but why not look at the bright side. On holidays you get holiday pay which you can use to pay off some of those bills. Also, children are out of school for longer than just the 24th and the 25th so why not have Christmas on the 22nd or the 26th? Not only that, if you work midnights what are you missing?
    You get off at 7 am, go home take a shower open presents eat a piece of ham and a roll and go to bed, or stay up and go to bed later.
    People who work 7-3 will get off at three and can still join in festivities. Either wait to open presents when you get off or open them the night before. Folks working 3-11 will be at home all morning. the only problem I see is with 12 hours shifts. But in any case, you will not be at work for 24 hours, at some point you will be able to go home and at least be with you immediate family. Just think how bad the people feel who are in the hospital for all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day or whose families must visit loved ones inthe hospital.Count your blessings!
  10. by   CoffeeRTC
    I've been lucky the last few years. I've worked every other weekend and have been seeming to miss my weekends for x mas:imbar Even lucked out for Easter. I do work all New yrs eves and days and don't mind Thanksgiving. I have asked around and offered to spilt shifts with those working, but no one seems to want to trade where I work. They like the money.
    BTW, Its not really that much more for me..holidays are only time and a half.

    When I was young and single, I begged for the holidays, even when I worked in mangagement.

    Good for you sticking up for yourself!
  11. by   suzanne4
    Quote from MamaTheNurse
    BTW, this post is intriguing - can I ask: if you are not in the US, where are you? also, why isn't Christmas your holiday? I'm sorry if I seem nosy.........
    I have lived overseas, and am Jewish. so that answers both questions.
  12. by   NurCrystal22
    If someone asked me to trade Christmas because I don't have kids, I would have said, "Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting a kid for Christmas." Then I would have walked away.

    ~Crystal
  13. by   Luv2BAnurse
    Quote from CRNASOMEDAY25
    I only read some of the replies so forgive me if this has already been said, but why not look at the bright side. On holidays you get holiday pay which you can use to pay off some of those bills. Also, children are out of school for longer than just the 24th and the 25th so why not have Christmas on the 22nd or the 26th? Not only that, if you work midnights what are you missing?
    You get off at 7 am, go home take a shower open presents eat a piece of ham and a roll and go to bed, or stay up and go to bed later.
    People who work 7-3 will get off at three and can still join in festivities. Either wait to open presents when you get off or open them the night before. Folks working 3-11 will be at home all morning. the only problem I see is with 12 hours shifts. But in any case, you will not be at work for 24 hours, at some point you will be able to go home and at least be with you immediate family. Just think how bad the people feel who are in the hospital for all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day or whose families must visit loved ones inthe hospital.Count your blessings!



    EXACTLY....it is a shift. It will pass. 4,6,8,10, or 12 hours. It AIN'T 24. (feels like it at times, tho)

close