"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant) - page 10

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i... Read More

  1. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    SunnyJohn, I completely agree with you.


    Quote from sunnyjohn
    I'll be honest with you, If my mum or daddy had not been there Christmas morning, I would have missed them. But quite frankly as soon as I tore open my presents I would have forgotten if Santa Claus himself was in the room. I just wanted to run outside and show my pals my new toy and play baseball or soccer or race bikes and homemade scooters with the kids in the 'hood!

    My parents though always stressed the REAL reason for the Season, so the day itself was only secondary.
  2. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from caroladybelle
    for some of the posters, a question to the attached/with kids.

    as far as bringing brochures to work, when was the last time that you did something nice for one of your single friends, unexpectedly. you know, the single friends that bought you wedding presents/shower gifts/brochure stuff from your kids. when did you last buy/make them a house warming gift. took them to dinner as just the girls/guys and spent time with them...without the kids/spouse around...or showed them the attention that they pay to you/your family/your needs.

    when did you hold a housewarming party for the single friend that gave you shower presents, put up with you when you were bride/groomzilla, and dealt with you when you went nuts over every little pain during pregnancy?

    just an idea.
    and an excellent idea it is, too! all those accomodations seem to go one way -- be nice if the single coworkers got a little special attention, too!
  3. by   llg
    Quote from ruby vee
    and an excellent idea it is, too! all those accomodations seem to go one way -- be nice if the single coworkers got a little special attention, too!

    i couldn't agree more. over the years, i have significantly reduced my participation in the "giving things to the married people" activities at work unless i have a personal relationship with that person that goes both ways.

    i also try to resist the pressure to buy junk from people trying to raise money for their kids' activities. why should i pay for their kids' social life? now ... it's a little different if the kids are involved in a community service project or if the kids are performing a service to earn money for an activity. i think kids earn valuable life lessons through those types of activities and often support those types of things. but i avoid giving to the requests for money from a parent to pay for a kid's fun, hobby, etc.

    llg
  4. by   grimmy
    [font=book antiqua]my family no longer celebrates christmas in the modern way. we do not buy presents and such. we have everything we really need, as we've been very fortunate as a family. our main goal is to spend time together. i don't have kids, but i love my nieces and nephews like crazy. because we are geographically challenged, whether this actually happens on or about christmas is immaterial. we've had christmas in august. what matters is that we manage to get together, share a meal, go to services, go bowling, ski, relax...whatever. as a group, we've decided to forgo the hype. .where i work, we're required to work one of the 3 "holidays" and be on-call for another. if you want to trade, you put your name on a list, and the trade is fairly made by the scheduler, first come, first serve.
  5. by   grimmy
    Quote from sunnyjohn
    thank you for posting this. it's almost like single people don't exist sometimes.
    :kiss

    [font=book antiqua]i agree - this was the topic of a "sex in the city" episode, and believe me, i was cheering. its not that i want to take anything away from people who are married, having babies, etc. that's great, and i love to celebrate, but i'd love it if my choices in life were celebrated, too. sure, i'd love to find the partner of my dreams, but that hasn't happened, yet. maybe it never will. i've accepted that may be the case. but to hear people presume to think that i "don't matter" because i don't have biological children or a partner is revolting.
  6. by   KrisRNwannabe
    My opinion is that if these people that have kids feel they need to spend every holiday and event with them, then maybe they should find a m-f, 9-5, no weekends, no holidays. i think these attitudes set bad examples for kids. I want my children to know that mommy is a hardworker and that sometimes that means being away from them. When i was kid nobody ever complained about working, they were thankful to have a job, both of my parents worked, they didn't make it to every single activity, and guess what??? I lived!! and their children will to!
  7. by   Luv2BAnurse
    My little angels always woke up early Christmas morning when they were younger. Now that they're teenangels, they rarely wake up early...BUT, two years ago when I worked Christmas Day, they got up at 4 so we could spend the morning together before I went to work. Of course the kids and husband all went back to sleep after I left. This is my year to work Christmas Day again, and I'm sure we'll have a repeat. Actually, when I think about it, I'd rather work Christmas Day than Christmas Eve....seems I have more time to spend with them and the rest of the family.
    hmmm

    It's all in the mindset.
  8. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Excellent opinion, Luv2BAnurse.

    Quote from Luv2BAnurse
    My little angels always woke up early Christmas morning when they were younger. Now that they're teenangels, they rarely wake up early...BUT, two years ago when I worked Christmas Day, they got up at 4 so we could spend the morning together before I went to work. Of course the kids and husband all went back to sleep after I left. This is my year to work Christmas Day again, and I'm sure we'll have a repeat. Actually, when I think about it, I'd rather work Christmas Day than Christmas Eve....seems I have more time to spend with them and the rest of the family.
    hmmm

    It's all in the mindset.
  9. by   ktwlpn
    Quote from NurCrystal22
    If someone asked me to trade Christmas because I don't have kids, I would have said, "Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting a kid for Christmas." Then I would have walked away.

    ~Crystal
    YES!!! Just what this situation calls for-a devastating comeback....."Those kids really interfere with your work schedule,don't they?That's why I choose not to breed"....I certainly would not get my panties in a a twist over the opinion of this rude,self-centered brat.Why care about her opinion? Women like this slay me---they think that breeding is a divine gift from God so the rest of us should make allowances for them and their kids....And get out of the way of those big tandem strollers in the mall-they'll flatten you....Forget a meal out in a family style restaurant-some families don't train their children at all....I have a 15 yr old...I always worked my share of holidays....My co-workers and nurse managers have always been willing to help me schedule off for those "once in a lifetime" things-like the first day of school...mainly because I have always been flexible and helped out others when I could..My attitude has been "I don't CARE why you need off and I'll trade if I can since it is important to you"
  10. by   Gompers
    Quote from ruby vee
    it took me years to understand what she meant. when you're spending christmas at the hospital, away from your family, it's nice to have a patient who appreciates your sacrifice rather than bemoaning their own spoiled holiday. and when you're a patient on christmas morning, it's nice to have a nurse who doesn't begrudge you her time away from her own family.
    i always work christmas night 7pm-7am, and it's never really a chore to come in. everyone makes the best of it, because the fact is, holidays are part of hospital work and we've accepted it for the most part. plus, the parents of all our babies spoil us - they bring us so many treats over the holidays, and they always seem to make it a point to thank us for working that day/night. no one wants to be there - the familes or us - but since we have no choice, why be in a bad mood about it? we hang little christmas stockings on the ends of the cribs and incubators, make holiday cards for the parents with polaroids and handprints from their babies, etc. we acknowledge the fact that, while it may suck that we have to work the holidays, it's a whole lot worse for those parents whose sick babies are in the nicu.
  11. by   Gompers
    Quote from Fun2Care
    However, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of Christmas morning. Just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on Christmas day when you were little.
    It's up to the parents how they present the situation to the kids. My dad works most holidays, and he always did while I was growing up. I understood that he worked in a hospital and that it was a place that never closed. If he was gone on Christmas morning, while I'd miss him, I would just open presents with my mom and look forward to seeing him later in the day. My parents never made it a big deal - just said, "Dad's working today, he'll be home later and then we'll have our Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner." I was actually quite proud to have a dad that was willing to be at the hospital on a holiday helping people - it's one of the things that turned me on to the medical profession in the first place. His compassion for others has always been an inspiration to me.

    So it's not always a tragedy, having to work the holidays. It's all a matter of perspective.
  12. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    So true... My youngest is 8, if all goes as planned, when I have my first Christmas as an RN, she will be 11.

    ...Old enough to be realize mom isn't there, but old enough to realize the importance of my absence. However, that will not ever change the fact that I would rather be there.

    ...And yet again, I'll say my opinion about the OP's comment, I agree with her (Marie_LPN's) stronghold on her decision. People shouldn't use their children as an excuse to get what they want.



    Quote from Gompers
    It's up to the parents how they present the situation to the kids. My dad works most holidays, and he always did while I was growing up. I understood that he worked in a hospital and that it was a place that never closed. If he was gone on Christmas morning, while I'd miss him, I would just open presents with my mom and look forward to seeing him later in the day. My parents never made it a big deal - just said, "Dad's working today, he'll be home later and then we'll have our Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner." I was actually quite proud to have a dad that was willing to be at the hospital on a holiday helping people - it's one of the things that turned me on to the medical profession in the first place. His compassion for others has always been an inspiration to me.

    So it's not always a tragedy, having to work the holidays. It's all a matter of perspective.
  13. by   mysticalwaters1
    WOW! Luckily I don't hear much of this from coworkers but it does come up and stinks! I'm single and live with my dad and younger brother still and am co-owner of my house thanks to my nursing job. I also play in a community band and I'll hear well i have kids you don't I need that day off for first day of school (when hello your 3-11 full time already you must have figured something out to continue the job)!!! I love kids and want some later but jeepers, I mean we all deserve our time off. I'm busy too is what I mean.

    My hospital has self scheduling as well and I LOVE it but you have to set it as your priority and follow it closely. Another pet peeve of mine...you have vacation time... USE IT!!!!!! Don't complain to me b/c I do. Jeeze! Our self scheduling rotates and we are suppose to try and keep it balanced. Ex if there's only 1 nurse on one day and 4 on another the 4 nurse day whoever is last to schedule should automatically come off and work the day of 1 nurse to make 2 and 3. The problem with my unit is when people either just put in there time period without reguarding others or they do not go at the right time. Ex perdiems go absolute last and suppose to fill in gaps. What happens is people forget or go after ther perdiems and then pick what they want and it's a mess. Also I'm sorry I am a .8 which is 32hrs a week. If I was 40/wk I'd be dead. I'm already dead with 32 let alone with any children. Anyway what i'm getting at is I signed up for that specific scedule. Its' still FT and benefits I suggest it to anybody it's way better. If I'm first or second to scedule I am going to scedule what i want. My coworkers want the same scedule period. Well we all take turns. I got crap b/c I'd try to take off as many mon as I could for my band rehearsal. If I went 1rst I'd get the month with no mon but when came time I was at the bottom to schedule I WAS working those mon. And I get hell from it b/c people just i don't know won't follow they systme and it's designed to take turns getting for the most part what you want. These same workers will not use vacation time. So when I go first to schedule PLUS I'm using vacation other times (I try to take 1 week off or work it so it's several days before a sceduled weekend off, every 3 months) they get annoyed. My coworker says it's like an art with me. Well it is. You have your time to use and self schedule work it out. I'm not abusing anything at all and then they get upset when I'll have 3 days off in a row. I'm point 8 it works out like that and it's not all the time. It's done in the order you are suppose to go. I tell them USE YOUR TIME OR YOU LOOSE IT! It's THERE! So then my one coworker finally uses the time and guess what she did...she took the entire month of july off....oh geeze you can't win! It's suppose to be 1 week max unless noone contests it. I was fine I had no issues. I take vacation in august.

    Oh and Marie I don't know how you schedule but it sounds as if it's not done in any specif order. Mine rotates. So i'm not 3 days of all the time and My mon I'll be off for 1 month then working the next it all depends.
    Last edit by mysticalwaters1 on Oct 9, '05

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