"Men should be EMT's or Doctors!" - page 7

So our floor had this little old lady who was basically your general pain in the keester. Declined meds, treatments, tests...and was needy as all get go but no one could satisfy her. Very bold... Read More

  1. by   SharonH, RN
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    But I am torn. I actually think there is something to what Tom says. The very elderly or those who are set in their ways are hard, if not impossible to "convert" to the current or "correct" way of thinking. I have let MANY such a remark roll off my back, knowing I did not have enough time in the world to change such minds and should not worry too much about it. I have been picking my battles really carefully since I graduated nursing school 9 years ago.

    Deb, I love ya but I have to disagree with you and Tom and Leslie and some others (okay I didn't read the entire thread).

    Old people are amazingly adaptable. I've seen them use cellphones and those new-fangled microwave ovens and even computers. They learn all manner of things but they just can't get it through their heads that racism and sexism is wrong? uh-uh I'm not buying it. Besides, it was wrong THEN too, it's not like it was okay back then either.

    People learn what they want to. She chooses not to get the lesson, well that's her prerogative as Tom says but that doesn't mean that she gets a pass for it because she's an old cantankerous PIA.
  2. by   SharonH, RN
    Brava to you Triage!
  3. by   teeituptom
    Just remember if your lucky enough to get that old and blue
    and some young nurse with your current attitude
    completely gets to you
    remember its your turn to get rude
  4. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from SharonH, RN
    uh-uh I'm not buying it. Besides, it was wrong THEN too, it's not like it was okay back then either.
    wasn't the 'n'-word randomly used, 50+ yrs ago?
    only now do we realize how very wrong it was.
    and all the way up to the 1950s/60s, society had definitive roles for men and women.
    so for an old lady to think that it's wrong for a man to be a nurse, or to think he should be something more macho, is certainly not unusual thinking.

    i just happen to think that we overall, live in a highly intolerant society.
    but when someone is truly old, there's little they have left before they leave this earth.
    there are ways to let them be cranky w/o having to tolerate their bigotry.
    in the absence of dementia or any other pathological process, most truly will, respond to firm limit-setting.

    leslie
  5. by   SharonH, RN
    Quote from earle58
    wasn't the 'n'-word randomly used, 50+ yrs ago?
    only now do we realize how very wrong it was.
    leslie


    Well I wasn't around 50+ years ago, but it is my understanding that it was spoken in hatred back then too. It was used to degrade people, NOT as a pet name. Therefore it is not "only now" that they realize how very wrong it was, they knew it even then.

    Personally, of all patient populations I enjoy working with the elderly the most. I don't really share your characterization that most of them have "little left". As you get older priorities shift and circumstances change, but many of them roll with the punches and keep the same oomph they had in their youth. So in one sense you're right, you can let them be cranky but by all means set limits. No need to chalk bad behavior up to age.
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    hmmmm, well my take is, we have the choice *not* to be offended........


    maybe we should remember that-------life is so short. I try not to waste time looking for offense in everything people say.
  7. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from nursemike
    I suspect "witch" may have been a typo. Not in your post. The one by caroladybelle. Meaning no offense to those who proudly emulate female canines, either.
    Perhaps, I should have just done the sexist ""itch instead.
    (must not torture the mods...must not torture the mods...the annual Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays whinefest should start soon, and I will be getting plenty O'demerits)
  8. by   greyhair
    Good thoughts, people. I have been a nurse for 30 years and an orderly before that. I have certainly had to be respectful of my patients' wishes or concerns about personal care over the years and that is okay. I live in a small city and if a female doesn't want me to change her catheter or bedbath her that can be accomodated. When people don't want care because a one of my coworkers has a different skin colour that is not acceptable to me. None of us should be made to feel worth less because of our skin colour or gender etc.
    I appreciate the way this situation was handled and think that reporting it was good. our employers need to know when and how often these things happen.
    Still wouldn't change my career choice, it has been good.
  9. by   banditrn
    Quote from teeituptom
    I look at things a little differently

    At 90 years old, she should be allowed to feel what ever way she wants to feel. By God she has earned that right.She has served her time, paid her dues,and who knows what factors she faced while achieving her 90 years.
    This world is big enough for all types, even me




    Let the Democrats regain control, please Lord
    Oh, NO, Tom, you're not using that excuse so that you can give me all the crabby old women!! No, way!

    Yep, let the democraps win - then we can blame THEM for all the crap for a change!!
  10. by   banditrn
    Quote from CrazyPremed
    Even though the woman may have grown up in a different era, she's living in today's world. She also grew up in time when segregation was legal. Should keep all minority workers away from her too? I'm completely understanding of many things - as a male nursing student and health care worker for 6+ years - but I have definite limits. My job is to provide health care, not serve as a sounding board for sexual, racial, religious, or any other type of discrimination. Just because a person isn't used to seeing a nurse/phleb/tech/whatever that looks like me, doesn't mean that I want to hear how wrong they think it is. Period. She also grew up in time when segregation was legal. Should we keep all minority workers away from her, too?

    Nobody ever cured disease by listening to discriminatory ramblings.

    What's funny to me is that many female pt's may have problems with a male nurse bathing them or taking an EKG, but have no problem with a male doctor performing a pelvic or delivering their baby. Oh, well. I guess I'll finally get my respect when I have MD behind my name .

    CrazyPremed
    Premed - you are SO right - those of that are older - like that 90 yo, myself, and even "teeituptom", grew up in a different time - but things ARE different now, and we have to adjust to it.

    There is a difference between expressing your feelings and opinions - and being a total azzhat!! The OP handled the situation much better than I probably would have. I'd have been tempted to ask her why she was being so rude and demeaning - I don't care what generation she grew up in.

    I've always enjoyed working with the guys I worked with - I only had brothers, and raised 5 sons, so I don't communicate as well with women.

    BTW, teeituptom, you sound more like a libertarian than a democrat!:wink2:
  11. by   teeituptom
    Quote from banditrn

    BTW, teeituptom, you sound more like a libertarian than a democrat!:wink2:
    I really am. But they dont have a significant powerbase yet. But I still hope.
    So I am Democrat, but still vote Libertarian when a Dem aint running. Anything is better than those Reps.


    Keep on Trucking Dems and Libs. Erode away the Reps.
  12. by   teeituptom
    Quote from banditrn
    Oh, NO, Tom, you're not using that excuse so that you can give me all the crabby old women!! No, way!

    Yep, let the democraps win - then we can blame THEM for all the crap for a change!!
    Actually, I will let you have all the crabby young people. Them I just want to slap upside their heads repeatedly.

    Yes Let the Democrats win so we can clean up all the Republican Rectal Refuse. Its a dirty job but at least the Dems are up to it. The Reps just let it build to monumental proportions
  13. by   Antikigirl
    WOW...ummmmm okay...didn't want this to be a republican vs democrat thing! No way! That would be awesome on another post...I mean...it takes away from what I was trying to say...and well, I thought what I said and the posts were important...obviously from responce the original message was respected enough for others to share their ideas...but wow...a political debate here from me sharing a story about respecting but acting what I felt was open, respectful but still playing by the rules with an elderly pt who was rude?

    Democrats or Republicans...I don't give a rats patootie frankly since here in my lovely state, the votes are in and counted and in concrete before our voting boxes are even closed! It has nothing to do with this...this is human nature, not politics...and frankly I go by human beings first, and typically that is more than enough study for thought than going political.

    I honor the feelings and expressed thoughts of the posters...but if I can request that this sway more away from politics and back to human kindess, nature, and respect it would be certainly appreciated by me...the OP. We have a ton of politics in this world...how about getting back to the basics of human nature that is so in need of addressing and helping in not only our profession..but in life!

    Thank you kindly.

    TriageRN

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