"Atypical" Nurse? How discouraging... - page 2

Hello! I'll be 30 next year, and I'm unmarried with no children. I'd spent my early career years in a field where that was an advantage (I moved intercity/internationally often). Right after uni... Read More

  1. by   zuzi
    Hey dear you are not at all "atypical" as soon as you don't belive that you are atypical. People could be bad from 1001 of reasons. Why they do that ? Who knows, from envy, from sick pleasure to put others down and show up them how beuatifull and fullfilled dreams they are... how much nrses they could be instead you.
    YOU ARE OK! You will be a great nurse as soon as you really want to be a nurse. Now I will laugh a little with you...if you don't know me you will know me now.... I am very sensitive to words typed... "hate men and hate children".... dear... my advice... stay balanced. How they know that you HATE????? LOL HATE is very very bad word. May be you don't want to have children or stay with them, or you have bad experinces and you really are not comfortable with men, or you has hurted before some how, or just don't like them ... but even then... you need to discover your self....
    IF you really are like that???? Some time we women just we imagine who we are, intead of who we really are! Be carefull! Much more darling ...you need you! You will be a good nurse don't doubt one moment about it.....go for it, be yourself, open your heart be how you REALLY are BALANCED...are a lot of nursese outside and no one is atypical...are just NURSES! Good or bad but nurses.
    Last edit by zuzi on May 31, '09
  2. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from Moogie
    The attitudes you are encountering are ignorant and reprehensible.

    BTW, I have children and, ironically, I've had to put up with ignorant comments because I chose to leave nursing for several years to be a SAHM. "Oh, you'd be so much further ahead in your career if you would have worked all those years." Right. As a SAHM, I did no work---just sat on the couch, watched soaps and ate bon-bons all day. Whatever.

    I was a SAHM with my older kids too - until the youngest was in 1st grade, 2nd oldest 6th grade and oldest 8th grade.

    And I work very part time now with the 7 year old.

    However, I sat on the couch watching soap operas and eating chips and salsa, NOT bon-bons.

  3. by   CaLLaCoDe
    Personally, I could care less about what a person's lifestyle choice is ,has no bearing on the work performance whatsoever! Do the job well and other's could care less what you're choice in lifestyle is.

    Dear OP, sounds as if your in a fundamentalist, early married, popped the babies out right quick and a grandmother at forty neck of the woods; let them suffer at their own expense, I say!!!!
  4. by   cjcsoon2bnp
    Well gee golly! I didn't know we we're still in the 1950's! Tell that nurse not to fear since your just becoming a nurse so you can snag a doctor husband and have a few babies anyways. Tell her while she's at it she should keep on the look out for commies and announcements from the Eisenhower administration. Maybe we can just give you a little electroshock therapy or a lobotomy to fix your problem since apparently if you aren't married with kids by the time your thirty then your REALLY screwed up!

    Its comments like what this nurse made that remind me how truly ignorant some people are in this world. You should let her know that if her nursing practice is as dated as her ideology then she has her own problems to worry about.

  5. by   DeeAngel
    Your acquaintances and "friends" are ignorant, prejudiced jackasses. If giving birth makes you such an automatically wonderful loving, selfless, giving person, ask them why there are so many abused, neglected and mistreated children in this country.

    They sound as though they are seething with jealousy and envy over your freedom and decision to follow your own life script instead of the one so many people automatically follow like sheep because "it's just what you're supposed to do".
  6. by   MzMouse
    Some people aren't happy unless they are trying to bring others down. I think you ran smack-dab into a couple of those people.
    I am a married, childless by choice nurse and I know a lot of other childless nurses who are very happy and great nurses!
  7. by   touchhealth
    Wow, so sorry you're dealing with such aweful comments! I'm about to turn 29, just finished my nursing pre-requs and will definately be past the 30 mark after finishing my RN. I have no kids, I'm not married (although I've been in a serious relationship for the past 2 years)

    Here in the SF Bay Area no one questions my ability to be caring b/c I don't have kids (I have a cat that is practically my child, does that count?). However, most of my fellow nursing students act like I have this great advantage b/c I don't have kids. Somehow, because I don't have children, they act like I don't have to work as hard in school as the students who do have children (there are lots of single parents in my school too). This is also infuriating b/c I do work REALLY REALLY hard, juggling multiple jobs, school, and volunteering 6days/wk. It's aweful feeling like non of my classmates respect the work I put into this b/c "it's easy to get good grades without a family."

    Do you ever wonder if some people just don't like seeing others succeeding at realizing their dreams? Like they just have to make some snide comment to bring you down? What's that all about?

    Just stay true to your heart, and your goals. I'm sure you'll be a great RN!
  8. by   zamboni
    Hmm...the vast majority of my patients know nothing about my marital or reproduction status...it's not like I walk in and say, "Hi! My name is zamboni, I'm a single parent with one grown child, and I'll be your nurse today." Really weird.
  9. by   nursgirl
    I agree with the general responses I've read here... what a load of crap! I am 35, an LVN, and will be graduating with my RN in December... I am unmarried, no kiddos, and one of the best nurses around!
    Ya know... life has thrown me some curveballs and at least up to this point it just wasn't in the cards to be married and a mom... yet. In NO way does that make me any less of a nurse.. in fact I think it has NOTHING to do with the kind of nurse I am or am not. If anything I feel much more prepared now to be a nurse than if I had gone to nursing school when I was younger... I have more life experience now and maturity.
    GEESH! I cannot believe that there are people around who think that would have anything at all to do with being a good nurse!
    Honestly I had to laugh.....
  10. by   Moogie
    Quote from zamboni
    Hmm...the vast majority of my patients know nothing about my marital or reproduction status...it's not like I walk in and say, "Hi! My name is zamboni, I'm a single parent with one grown child, and I'll be your nurse today." Really weird.
    And why would they care? You're right. It IS weird!
  11. by   Tweety
    Good luck to you! Everyone gave you good feedback. Around here there are plenty of 20something 30something single childless folks.
  12. by   SweetLemon
    WOW!?!?! I am a few years younger the you are but in a very similar situation and get a lot of people stating that they are envious of my freedom and ability to come and go as I please. I am wondering if these nurses who are making these cutting remarks to you are possibly a bit jelous of you. Regardless through they really need to learn to mind their own business. I know many of nurses who are single and well into their 50s and 60s who are fabulous nurses, provide excellent patient care and are never questioned by patients or their families about the choices they have made. And when was it required that we tell patients our background, marital status, if we have kids or not.

    I suspect I will probably get a lot of flack for saying this but what the heck.... Nurses who use the mommy card and assume that because they have children that they are better nurses then those who don't have children dive me nuts! Having children before being a nurse does not make you better or more qualified and in some instances can pose as a hinderance to your work if you are one of those people constantly calling in favors "I am going to be late AGAIN today could not get the kids to daycare on time this morning". Please dont misunderstand me I work with many moms who are incredible nurses and never allow their home life to interrupt their work life and to be honest we all have little hiccups every now and again and need a bit of a grace period. I believing having children can make you a more well rounded person going into nursing and that can make you a better nurse but so can joining the peace-corps or getting a degree in psychology it all comes together and acts as strengths to your nursing practice as a whole.
  13. by   sunray12
    Quote from darjeeling22

    i'll be 30 next year, and i'm unmarried with no children. i'd spent my early career years in a field where that was an advantage (i moved intercity/internationally often). right after uni i'd done a year in americorps that really planted the seeds of nursing in my head, and now i'm finally doing what i feel i should. but! now that i've jumped in and started my pre-nursing track i've been absolutely shocked by the negativity i've been getting from nurses and nursing students i've met recently - due to my choice of lifestyle.

    i was asked the other day by an rn family friend how i could possibly be thinking about going into nursing when i couldn't even be selfless enough to take care of a child. couple of weeks ago i was even told that patients wouldn't trust me as much if they thought i "hated men and children" (!!!!), and that getting hired would be harder since "family life shows that you're a reliable, caring person". these are just a handful of negative opinions i've been served, and they're certainly jarring.

    i'm hoping this kind of attitude is just due to the region i live in now. but it's making me feel truly awful. is it that strange to find a single, childless person over 30 in nursing? and is there really that strong of a general impression that a single woman is an inadequate caregiver?
    maybe having a child (or children) was the experience that got this particular rn to the point where she was empathetic enough to go into nursing. but she doesn't have to assume it works that way for everybody. i don't think florence nightingale had children so clearly that was not her motivation. some people project a lot so there's no reason to internalize what they say. as for the people i know who've done time hospitals they could care less about whether their nurse has kids or not - they care that they are treated right. they remember nurses who were nice to them and helpful when they have questions.

    personally my hat's off to all the nurses who pull off nursing school and working as floor nurses while raising small children. one of my aunts is a career nurse and has 7 kids. there is no way i could do that.