[RealNurseWitch]

I debated whether or not to post this here or in the General Nursing forum, and decided it might be more appropriate here, though it does have to do with work as well.

Besides feeling unappreciated at home... I feel terribly underappreciated at work, and I'm starting to really truly wonder if I just simply am a terrible nurse with a rotten personality and just need to get out of the field, or at least do something where I don't have as much patient contact.

My first nursing job, I had for three years. During that time, I was one of the few people who NEVER got Employee of the Month. Our hospital had six of them every month, and I never once got it. Probably never even got nominated. At that same job, I rarely ever got compliments from patients and even got banned from patients' rooms, about three different times.

I realize that my attitude then was terrible; I was just a terrible nurse then, I really was. Horrible attitude. My next job, I did much better and had a better attitude, and felt more appreciated by my patients and fellow staff... though I STILL never got Employee of the Month. =) Hardly anyone really did, though.

That was my psych job. I got bored and decided to return to Med/Surge. I felt ready to go back to it, and went into my present job with a better attitude, a "can do" attitude. Things started out great.... went through a slight rough patch... but now... every night I come to work with a terrific attitude, I try to smile a lot, I try to do what I can for my patients, I feel like I work hard... I feel like I am doing a good job...

And I STILL NEVER get any compliments from hardly anyone. Patients, doctors, coworkers... no one. We get these little cards that we can trade in for little gifts, they are called ABC cards. We get them from patients, docs, or coworkers who want to compliment us on a job well done. To hear my coworkers talk... I am the ONLY person working here who, in nine months of working, has not gotten a SINGLE ABC card. Most people in that amount of time have gotten at least two or three. I've gotten zero.

Besides being basically pretty introverted by nature... I am introverted and I know I am..... WHAT AM I DOING WRONG????????????????????????? WHAT????????????????????

Because I am really getting sick of it. I really am. I know that sometimes being a nurse and helping people is its own reward, but I want to feel appreciated for ONCE. I want to feel like I am really doing a good job and making a difference and making people feel better. For ONCE.

Am I really just too introverted for this job? That's how it feels sometimes. Maybe that's the problem.

I'm tired of feeling underappreciated at home (I work my ass off AND do most of the house cleaning AND help take care of the animals AND raise two very young children and I have a husband who won't let me sleep and just generally doesn't seem like he appreciates me) and then turning around and coming to work and feeling like I'm not making a difference.

And to top it all off, I got shorted on my paycheck this week by about 2-3 hundred dollars that I should have gotten.

And the Celexa just isn't working anymore. =(

[SMK1]

Originally Posted by RealNurseWitch

I debated whether or not to post this here or in the General Nursing forum, and decided it might be more appropriate here, though it does have to do with work as well.

Besides feeling unappreciated at home... I feel terribly underappreciated at work, and I'm starting to really truly wonder if I just simply am a terrible nurse with a rotten personality and just need to get out of the field, or at least do something where I don't have as much patient contact.

My first nursing job, I had for three years. During that time, I was one of the few people who NEVER got Employee of the Month. Our hospital had six of them every month, and I never once got it. Probably never even got nominated. At that same job, I rarely ever got compliments from patients and even got banned from patients' rooms, about three different times.

I realize that my attitude then was terrible; I was just a terrible nurse then, I really was. Horrible attitude. My next job, I did much better and had a better attitude, and felt more appreciated by my patients and fellow staff... though I STILL never got Employee of the Month. =) Hardly anyone really did, though.

That was my psych job. I got bored and decided to return to Med/Surge. I felt ready to go back to it, and went into my present job with a better attitude, a "can do" attitude. Things started out great.... went through a slight rough patch... but now... every night I come to work with a terrific attitude, I try to smile a lot, I try to do what I can for my patients, I feel like I work hard... I feel like I am doing a good job...

And I STILL NEVER get any compliments from hardly anyone. Patients, doctors, coworkers... no one. We get these little cards that we can trade in for little gifts, they are called ABC cards. We get them from patients, docs, or coworkers who want to compliment us on a job well done. To hear my coworkers talk... I am the ONLY person working here who, in nine months of working, has not gotten a SINGLE ABC card. Most people in that amount of time have gotten at least two or three. I've gotten zero.

Besides being basically pretty introverted by nature... I am introverted and I know I am..... WHAT AM I DOING WRONG????????????????????????? WHAT????????????????????

Because I am really getting sick of it. I really am. I know that sometimes being a nurse and helping people is its own reward, but I want to feel appreciated for ONCE. I want to feel like I am really doing a good job and making a difference and making people feel better. For ONCE.

Am I really just too introverted for this job? That's how it feels sometimes. Maybe that's the problem.

I'm tired of feeling underappreciated at home (I work my ass off AND do most of the house cleaning AND help take care of the animals AND raise two very young children and I have a husband who won't let me sleep and just generally doesn't seem like he appreciates me) and then turning around and coming to work and feeling like I'm not making a difference.

And to top it all off, I got shorted on my paycheck this week by about 2-3 hundred dollars that I should have gotten.

And the Celexa just isn't working anymore. =(

Sounds like you need a vacation (with a friend and no kids or just a getaway to recharge by yourself or with your husband if you feel like you won't get aggravated with him there). You also more than likely need to start getting some personal time everyweek. ( a weekly movie night or something else that you like to do outside of the house so you aren't tempted to clean or fold laundry or get sucked into whatever drama is undoubtedly unfolding with small kids, animals and spouse. I hope things get better. You need a break girl!

[nursemary9]

I completely agree with the other poster. You need some time to yourself each week; you also, maybe need some time with just you & DH.

I don't know if you work nite shift, as you're posting at nite, but having worked over 30 yrs on nites, I find you seldom get any compliments from pt's or families or even your co-workers.
I just do my job--& I do it to the best of my ability and then feel good about the fact that I did my best for my patients & other staff.
I know it's sometimes hard to feel appreciated, but, you need to pat yourself on your back, too.

I do hope things get better for you.

[DDRN4me]

have to agree with the others, Real....you need a break!!! when all things pile up like that it is hard to " see the forest for the trees" Can you take a mental health day away from everyone and treat yourself for a few hours??? sometimes that is just enough to recharge your batteries and put things in perspective. I am a list maker... I will list what is going well and what is not and then try to find solutions. may not be able to do them but it helps to know that I can think them thru. just mho. ((((hugs ))) to you. mary

[RealNurseWitch]

I feel better now. =)

Last night/early this AM was rough. I have a rough patient that I have actually developed a VERY good rapport with and I have been taking much care of him over the past five days or so/all weekend... but all of us on the floor are having difficulty dealing with the physical problem that he is having, and this morning I got very frustrated and felt like he could really see that... and it just got me thinking "here's a patient that I feel like I've developed a good rapport with, a great nurse/patient relationship, and I'm ruining it because I'm getting frustrated and impatient and he can SEE it.

Plus my coworkers were talking about all of the cards and compliments that they have gotten, and I haven't gotten a single one.

On my floor, night shift nurses and techs actually get MORE compliments than day shift because well, our day shift is very understaffed and full of new, not-so-confident nurses, techs who don't do their jobs, and so well... night shift gets quite a few more compliments.

I want to just take a night for myself and like, GO somewhere, all by myself, without kids or husband. Go spend the night at a nice hotel, maybe with an indoor pool, and just lounge around the poor drinking daquiris and reading Robin Cook. Then go to bed and sleep until just before time for checkout!

A whole weekend would be even nicer. Maybe do some shopping... man.

[General E. Speaking, RN]

I commend you on recognizing your sour attitude and trying to change it. I have had to give myself many a attitude adjustment while working Med Surg for the last 8 yrs. It is hard work. Like you say, many times it goes unnoticed by others and that is unfortunate. You do, however, have the personal satisfaction of knowing when you do a good job behind the scenes. Try not to focus on the public recognition so much as it may eat away at your new found joy and smile that you found. Call a friend and go get a pedicure or watch a movie. Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.

[dianah]

FWIW, in the facility I worked for 21 yr, I never got one of those cards either.
Not a one.
I still think I'm a good nurse, and focused on the patient's needs and on doing a good job.

Agree w/the others, to re-group, re-charge so you can re-focus on what's important (YOU first, then the pt. ) at work.

Hugs.

[VivaLasViejas]

You've gotten some excellent advice here. I can't add much of anything except this: You can't take care of others until you take care of yourself. That weekend by yourself sounds WONDERFUL. Now just DO IT!!!!!

((((((RealNurseWitch))))))

[Spidey's mom]

Originally Posted by dianah

FWIW, in the facility I worked for 21 yr, I never got one of those cards either.
Not a one.
I still think I'm a good nurse, and focused on the patient's needs and on doing a good job.

Agree w/the others, to re-group, re-charge so you can re-focus on what's important (YOU first, then the pt. ) at work.

Hugs.

Me too! A group of us finally started a club of nurses who had never gotten an employee of the month certificate.

I think some of us just go to work, do our job and don't mingle well with others. So, we are invisible.

It isn't that we are bad employees. It is just that no one notices us.



steph

[santhony44]

All I can say is, well, Thank God it isn't just me!!

When I worked in the hospital I always wondered why I never seemed to get anything like that. I think Steph's invisibility explanation is as good as any.

All of us aren't particularly social animals.

For myself, some of it may be facial expression. I was told recently that I am "stone faced." Well, tough on the rest of the world, stuck on the other side of the face, but I only have one. I've never developed the talent for having two. When I'm concentrating, thinking, intent, my attention is not on my face nor my facial expression. My natural expression is not . I do try to think about smiling, but apparently I don't succeed all that much.

My point of view is: would you, as my patient, rather my mind be on my facial expression, or on whatever is going on with you medically? I know what I'd prefer!

Whooops. Sorry to walk off with your thread, there, RealNurse.

I'd echo the advice to take some time off to take care of yourself. But I'll also say this: I believe you've had a lot more people appreciate you than have ever said so. And I, for one, will try a little harder to express appreciation to people because there may be people in my vicinity who feel exactly as you do.

If you've been a CNA for 4 years and an RN for 4, then you've done a lot of good for a lot of people, you're doing something very important in raising two children, and your husband would probably be totally lost without you, so: