[rehab nurse]

Hi everyone

I am wondering about all the parents out there...especially for those in grade school. My son just started kindergarten, and my daughter is in first grade for all classes except reading and english (for those classes she is in a "gifted" program).

My son has homework once a week, which doesn't seem bad until you actually read it, but I know from last year (same teacher my dd had) that it gets more intense down the line. Now he is learning two words each week, for which he has a WHOLE LIST of things he must do to "learn" them, there are 21 things on the list, and they include "make up a song with these words", "type these words", "write them with boiled noodles" which is really time consuming. I know at the end of the year they also add numbers, as they are all supposed to know how to count to 100 by the end of kindergarten. I think this is a bit much, but I am in a minority, according to the principal. And he's in full-day kindergarten. The half-day program is EXACTLY the same in quantity of work, so I don't know how the half-dayers do it.

My daughter has DAILY homework in math, social studies, and science which usually takes her about an hour each night. Her teacher is a brand new teacher, and she is very stand-offish and almost rude. She ignores my calls, and won't work with me to help my daughter adjust to a new classroom. (My daughter is very anxious, suffers from a lot of anticipatory anxiety, and needs help remembering to wear her glasses). She needs these glasses because she is farsighted and has exotropia (her right eye rotates outward and it's getting worse) because once she gets anxious, or tired, or frustrated, she can't focus, even with her glasses (which her teacher is supposed to handle and give to her because they were stolen already this year once..a 400 dollar pair of glasses) on and then she gets a headache, then she cries, and the whole cycle starts over. My daughter is in therapy for her constant talking about death and her extremely high IQ, although emotionally she is younger than her age. They say it's because she is so far ahead in intellectual areas, that her emotional areas are lagging behind. It truly is hard to deal with, and I hate that my daughter needs to take more time away from her class to help my dd. However, her glasses were stolen in her classroom, so the deal with the principal was that the teacher would give them to her for when she needs them (she only needs them for up close things, reading, writing, etc). So my daughter is declining and this teacher is being condescending to me, ignoring my calls, ignoring my emails, etc. I am not hounding her with messages, according to the principal I am on the bottom of the list for number of messages/emails sent (and it's weird that they know so much, but whatever).

So tell me, am I over-reacting here? Or does their homework load seem excessive? My next step is the school board meeting. On top of this, they are in school all day, from 8:40 to 4:00 pm 5 days per week. They get home by 4:30, and they are STARVING because they get a snack at 9 and lunch at 11, and that's it for the day. No more snacks or drinks. By the time they get to play for a half hour and eat dinner, then do homework, it's nearly time for them to go to bed. I just think it's too much. They don't get any "kid time".

I am one of those mom's who believe kids should be kids as long as possible. I had a horrible, abusive childhood, so of course I wan something different for my kids. I want them to have happy memories with me, especially since I have so many life-limiting diseases, I don't know when I'll "check-out" so I try to do as much as possible with them. I am sorry if this post seems weird or out-of-sorts, but I am just very tired and wanted to ask is any other parents deal with this much homework with their similar age children.

Sorry for such a long post.

[llg]

I agree with you. Your kids' school does not sound like a healthy environment at all. I'd be making a big stink ... school board, letters to the editor in the newspaper, etc.

Another tactic is to talk with the school doctor if there is one -- someone who is responsible for the health policies and practices (eg. sports physicals for athletes, etc.). If there is not someone such as a school doctor, maybe the nurse can help a little -- but I suspect you would do better with physician advocates. Are there local pediatricians who might speak up on behalf of the kids' needs for rest, play, and a better nutrition schedule. My home town school district once created too much stress for the kids (long story) and my father, the "town doctor", started seeing kids in his office with stress-related problems. He spoke to the school administration and got improvements for the kids.

[bethin]

I don't have kids, so take this with a grain of salt.

First, let me get this straight: your ds is supposed to play with his food?? You're actually supposed to cook noodles so he can play with them? It's been 22 years since I was in kindergarten - boy, saying that out loud makes me feel really old - but I remember homework as being really fun. Fun as in I couldn't wait to get home and do my 1/2 hour (maybe) of homework each night.

No, don't think you're over reacting. I think kids should be kids too. But, in this reality and with current laws like No Child Left Behind Act, teachers are going to cram as much as they can. If they don't meet expectations they don't get funding. I don't know how much you can change here. Usually those lesson plans are handed down by state and school boards (at least around here they are). You could ask for alternative assignments that don't require wasting food.

I would insist on a sit down meeting with your dd teacher. Explain that you understand that this is her first year and she's trying to prove herself, but she needs to stop being rude and condescending to a first grader. She's doing no one a favor by behaving this way. She may not even be aware of how she comes off so tell her bluntly. Tell her that if it continues that you have no problems going to the principal, superintendant, school board, etc. After all, someone hired her and someone can fire her. I know I sound harsh, but I have zero tolerance for those who treat children this way. She needs to be understanding of your daughter's problems (I'm guessing that her death issues have something to do with you battling cancer - does she know this?). Be the squeaky wheel. If other parents are contacting her so much, find out what they're contacting her for. Maybe they have the same complaints.

I believe that going to school should be a fun learning experience where you can wholly trust who you're sending your kids to.

[hikernurse]

I've got a bunch of kids and I feel strongly that homework should be limited to the upper grades and even then, not hours a day. When you think about it, kids are pretty much in school the same amount as a full-time adult worker--I know I'm too tired after work to want to do a lot more of it at home.

We've had years where even the little ones have had 30-60 minutes of daily homework in addition to reading 30 minutes a day. I especially don't like the assignments where the parents have to prepare additional materials--spelling in mashed potatoes? Nice if that's what you're having for dinner anyway, I guess . I've told teachers before that after 30 minutes I'm stopping the "homework train" and having them turn it in at that point, no matter how much they've done.

Besides, their teachers have had them all day--I want to spend quality time with my kids, too .

And don't even get me started on No Child Left Behind...

[bethin]

I wanted to add that my db and I lack of homework in no way impeded our academic progress. Db went to college on a full scholarship, graduated in the top 10 and is very successful. I have a near perfect 4.0 in college and love to read, I've been reading since I was 3. Just because we didn't sit down and do hours of homework a night doesn't mean we turned out like idiots. In fact, I think because we weren't overwhelmed and pushed by teachers that we did better. So I'm not quite sure how the No Child Left Behind Act plays into this. I figure as long as a parent is responsible, reads to their child and educates them as they go along, ie, taking them to the zoo and pointing out where certain animals live, eat, etc they'd be ok.

Again, take what I say with a grain of salt. I have no kids so I cannot understand. I know my best friend has 2 girls, one in 2nd grade and one in 4th and she complains about the homework, and she's a teacher!! She says that we are just burning out our kids by throwing all this info at them, giving them no hands on experience - she teaches and her kids go to the same elementary school I did. Everytime we learned something new, like about animals, we took a trip to a farm, zoo, etc to see first hand what they look like and what they do. I asked my friend if they still do that and she said nope, no time for 'fun' like that. For me, that was a learning experience and a chance for the city kids to get outside in the open clean air of the country. It's sad really. All this so we can compete with the asians. I just think the state of affairs regarding education is just so sad. I guess others agree, that's why homeschooling is becoming more and more popular.

[NRSKarenRN]

Recommended Grade Level Homework Time Guidelines
The specific recommended grade level time guidelines vary from district to district. However, the literature does reveal the following common ranges for each grade
level. (Test preparation should count as homework time with regard to total time
assigned.):

·

Grades K-2- should not exceed 10-20 minutes per day

·

Grades 3-4- should not exceed 45 minutes per day

(At the elementary level, a common recommended formula is for students to complete approximately 10 minutes of homework per grade level.)

http://www.westallegheny.k12.pa.us/hmwk_resrch.pdf

My son's homework time in the 90's was double this amount...in HS they did less than 2hrs/day---while I remember 3-4 hrs in 1970's. One son had ADD so homework took a lot longer due as easily distracted but by 11th grade was SO turned on by school NOTHING was stopping him from going to culinary college! They had mid morning snack only too but school was out at 2:50 so had opportunity for after school snack by 3:30 PM. Is it possible to pack a snack to carry in school bag to eat on way home like graham cracker, granola bar, grapes, Cheerios etc along with juice box?

Reading between the lines here:

I had a horrible, abusive childhood, so of course I wan something different for my kids. I want them to have happy memories with me, especially since I have so many life-limiting diseases, I don't know when I'll "check-out" so I try to do as much as possible with them.

I get the sense however your own angst over childhood woes and health issues coloring things. Homework can be FUN!
Parental anxiety can often be transferred onto kids....lesson I learned in early years. Making kids responsible for their work, instead of parent instills responsibility for actions. When I lightened up, homework tensions melted away.

21 things for each word.... 7 days week x3 things a day to work on =21!
Can play-dough rolled into ropes be substituted for noodles? Idea is to immerse kids in letters/ numbers in all kinds activities to improve retention in fun ways. Funny song can be sung in tub, doing dinner dishes, walking upstairs to bed, etc.

Good Luck in future with your loved ones.

[gentle]

RehabRN,


Your daughter's teacher has not the compassion needed to deal with such young children. IMHO, she should not be involved with 1st graders if she is not capable of recognizing the stress of a parent/child.

Please review your states department of education guidelines for homework in the younger levels. Most states and districts publish this information. It should be in your parent information handbook given at the beginning of the school year.

Our son is only supposed to have 1 to 1/2 hours homework per week. We usually end up with 30 to 45 minutes per night. I personally have not raised a stink because, he can handle it. If my child is stressed I simply send in a note stating that we did not complete all the homework assigned.

Last year as a 1st grader, he was out of school for a week. We did independent study and he was required to complete 2 book reports.
Nope, didn't do it.

For our child, once he stresses out the end has come. I don't want him to hate school or more importantly hate learning. We love to read and learn; so we want our children to experience the same.

You may also need to investigate having your child transferred to another classroom with a different teacher altogether.

Anyway, best wishes regarding your decisions.