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Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)



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  #1  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 06:26 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Wink Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

Dear Jay from upstairs:

In the more than likely event that 1 of us will die before I ever get to express my gratitude for all the sunshine you've brought into my life since you moved in upstairs, I have composed a list of all that I have to thank you for.

-thank you for blatantly staring at me while I was sunbathing on my deck as you were moving in last summer That was sweet.

-thanks for offering me that beer at 9:00 in the morning 1 day last summer & then asking me, "What? Don't you like to party?" when I turned it down

-thank you for moving yourself & your 3 teenage sons into a 2 bedroom apartment...this way I really don't know who to blame when you leave your kids alone & they get into wrestling fights with their friends , causing my ceiling to shake & pictures to fall off my walls. Or when they have their little drinking parties, or your 13 year old starts slamming his bedroom door over & over again. Kudos! What a great way to save some cash! And the constant foot-traffic & "staircase races."...:Melody:to my ears!

-thank you for taking 10 min - a 1/2 hour every day to scream at your kids at the top of your lungs using every profanity in the book . The fact that I can hear every single word really makes me feel like, well...part of the family I especially enjoy your, "You're f***ing everything up!" speech. Yeah, that 1 never seems to get old. I'm also a big fan of, "You gotta get with the program, son!" Jay, you should be a motivational speaker.

-thank you for unhooking my dog's leash from my back porch that day when you mowed the lawn last summer . I'm so sorry the annoying neighbors next door brought him back

-thank you for storing your trash in our garage...I like scaring raccoons & squirrels out from under my car every morning. Yeah, who needs the added hassle of leaving the trash in a trash can in your apt until garbage day...You've got this one figured out!

-thank your drinking yourself to the point of violent vomiting that lasted almost an hour last week That was, well, I'm not gonna lie Jay...that was entertaining By the way, did it hurt when you finally just collapsed on the floor? Don't worry...it didn't take that long to re-shelve all the books that fell out of my bookcase.

-thank you for taking advantage of our 1 washer & dryer 7 days a week...it's been fun finding new & creative ways for me to get my laundry done

-thank you for inquiring as to how I pay my bills when you found out that I'm not working while I'm in school. That showed that concern...that you care...and wasn't at all inappropriate.

-most of all Jay, I want to thank you for whatever role you played in the search & arrest of your 17 yr old a few months ago...how exciting to have the police scour our backyard with flashlights @ 3:00 in the morning! I felt just like we were on COPS! But I gotta say - & our next door neighbors fully agree with me on this - the most exciting part of that night was having the police spotlight shone in our bedrooms! We never got that kind of excitement around here before you moved in...
So, for these reasons, & so many more, I say, "Thank you." Thank you, Jay, for moving in upstairs from me.


Last edited by RNfromMN : Dec 06, 2006 at 06:31 PM.
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  #2  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 06:31 PM
Marie_LPN's Avatar
Marie_LPN (Female)
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

I do not miss apartment lilfe whatsoever.

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  #3  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 08:24 PM
bethin's Avatar
bethin (Female)
Beach Bum
Join Date: Sep 2005
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

You're scaring me. I'm moving in to my first apt next week.

I hope I don't have a neighbor like Jay. Guess that's why they invented mace.

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  #4  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 08:42 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Oh, I know the smell of death

Originally Posted by bethin View Post
You're scaring me. I'm moving in to my first apt next week.
I hope I don't have a neighbor like Jay. Guess that's why they invented mace.
Oh, I gotta million of these stories....in one apt building I lived in, my neighbor across the hall died...& no one did anything about it until he'd been dead at least a month. I don't know when exactly he died, I'm only guessing it was around a month because that's how long the smell was there.

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  #5  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 08:43 PM
JentheRN05's Avatar
Just Jen 2 U
Join Date: Aug 2005
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

Not to be naive here but is this real or a joke. If it's a joke it's cute. If it's not your REALLY patient and will be a great nurse lol.

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  #6  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 09:07 PM
LoriRN2B (Female)
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

I don't miss apartment living either.

Sadly, my next door neighbors in the rental house have given some of my apartment days a run for their money.

Thanksgiving day 3 years ago I looked outside and noticed 5 police cars and one officer bringing the K9 up the drive. Called the landlord pretty quick on that one!

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  #7  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 09:21 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

Oh, no no no no, JentheRN...my pain as renter is all too real. "Dad's" home right now...I believe (if I heard correctly) he kicked his oldest out today (for "f***ing up again") & told him to go back to jail. Currently he's yelling at the other two to do the f-ing dishes. (And please, I hope no one's picturing me as some crazy eavesdropping neighbor...last week I actually heard this guy's cell phone ring upstairs-walls are pretty thin here). The vomiting episode was unbelievable...the only reason I knew it was alcohol-induced was because of the thunderous crash he took to the floor afterwards...oh, & the 24 empty beer cans in the garage the next day. The police chase with his kid...they'd only been living here a month when that happened...apparently he stole his mom's car.
No, I thought about "embellishing" in here to make it funnier, but then I came up with the idea to print this out & slip it under his door when I can finally move out of here...pending 1 nursing degree, thank you very much
And I don't think that I'm that patient...I've called the police a couple times. I think calling the landlord would be a waste of time...we used to have these kids upstairs that would throw obnoxiously loud parties until 4a.m....I complained to the landlord & yeah, he did kick them out...and then moved in the Brady Bunch upstairs. I don't think he cares who's living up there.

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  #8  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 09:27 PM
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2006
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

Originally Posted by Marie_LPN View Post
I do not miss apartment lilfe whatsoever.
AMEN to that. I swear I would live in my car before I would rent another apartment.

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  #9  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 09:42 PM
Spidey's mom's Avatar
SAHM wannabe
Join Date: Dec 2002
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

I was thinking that I wish there was a way for you to slip this under his door. But, yeah, you would have to move first.

I do not miss apartment life either . . . .


steph

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  #10  
Old Dec 06, 2006, 09:46 PM
TheCommuter's Avatar
TheCommuter (Female)
Palm tree lover
Join Date: Feb 2005
Re: Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

Originally Posted by Marie_LPN View Post
I do not miss apartment lilfe whatsoever.
I share your sentiments exactly.

I lived in apartments from birth until age 16 and would never willingly go back to living like that again. I have not-so-fond recollections of the neighbor's screaming, noise from adjacent units, search warrants being served, and so forth.

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Noisy Upstairs Neighbor: How I love thee, let me count the ways (long)

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