[acerila]

I'm a little ashamed to admit this but I do have to get this out somewhere. I know you guys probably heard it before/it's just so cliche but I have a serious crush on one of the doctors at work. It's silly because he is 20 years older then me, I do want to keep my job and besides he is not even that attractive. Every time I see him though he just makes me smile, he is super friendly&laid back and I just admire him in a way. I feel like he pays me a little too much attention and is maybe even a little flirty at times which makes me crush on him even more (he playfully hit me with a chart a few times, told me he doesn't like when I showed him some bad labs and is just always jokingly giving me a hard time). I always want to give him a hard time back but I tend to freeze up and get shy.

Maybe I'm just overanalyzing his behavior, what do you guys think? What would you do guys do in the situation? Keep things totally professional (as I have been so far)? Joke back with him? Or maybe even take things a step further? I wish I could get him out of my mind and find someone I can totally have

[SICU Queen]

Well, I guess my first question is: is this man married? An affirmative answer should be all the answer you need. STAY AWAY. If not, get the scoop from the other nurses at work. If he's a player and makes a habit of routinely bedding nurses, you'll hear about it.

Maybe he's single and he's just a super guy and he's liking you just like you're liking him. (However, I am a pessimist.)

Overall, I have to advise you to tread carefully... sometimes it can all work out to be roses, but I've seen it get pretty stinky more often than not.

[ilovemypuppies]

Acerila -Hey - just my opinion, but you are playing with fire! If you are single and he is also, maybe it will have a fairy tale ending, but that is the best case scenerio. I live in Louisiana and I have seen this happen to other people, with HORRIBLE outcomes!

There was an MD who I kind of had the same relationship with as you described, and a prepostreous rumor got started when a CNA saw us coming out of the stairwell together. I was divorced at the time and he was married with 2 kids. Anyway, the rumor mill started flying and by the end of the 12 hour shift, it got back to me that we _______ on the stairs on night shift and that I was pregnant and having his ''love child''. Funny thing about that kind of crap, I didn't even work graveyard, and I have never seen someone come off the stairs and suddenly become pregnant!!

Anyway, we did happen to be friends and this was 17 years ago. He knew it was BS and I knew it was BS, but the people starting and spreading the gossip didn't care. He is a gen. surgeon and his partner came to the floor and pulled me aside and told me what everyone was
thinking.

We both retained an attorney, and just by sheer luck, we used the same one. He got things stopped pretty fast, and it was especially hard because one of the gossip mongers was the ADON!

Lomg story short, even if you just stay friends, it can damage your reputation professionally. The partner that broke the news to me said his wife found out because she plays bridge with the MDs wife.

Good luck with whatever you decide, just think about it.

Anne, RNC

[rn/writer]

If either or both of you are married, extricate yourself as fast as you can from flirtatious behavior.

Even if you're both single, be extremely careful. Workplace flirtations can lead to romance, but they can also lead to bad times. If things get messy, which person do you think would be asked to leave, the one who admits patients or the one who is more easily replaced.

The workplace romances that do the best are the ones where both parties are so discreet that few people know about them.

But maybe this is just a bit of innocent fun. Once again, if either of you is married, dial that playfulness back a couple of notches and keep your dignity. And your job.

[Overland1]

Originally Posted by acerila

I'm a little ashamed to admit this but I do have to get this out somewhere. I know you guys probably heard it before/it's just so cliche but I have a serious crush on one of the doctors at work...........

The best bet is to keep things entirely professional. There is an old saying about "ya don't ____ where ya eat"; rather crude, but you get the idea. This goes for most at-work romances. They always seem like the best idea in the world until something goes wrong, then one of you is probably going to have to leave because the other just may make things miserable. Sure, many will say this can never happen, but never is a rather odd word ("never" never means "never").

Suppose such a relationship started to work out OK and there is a wedding. You each come home and start talking about work. After a while this becomes BORING, despite the potentially elevated financial status.

Not trying to be negative... just sharing what my years in business and Nursing have taught me.

[Overland1]

Originally Posted by busyrnandmom

Acerila -Hey - just my opinion, but you are playing with fire! If you are single and he is also, maybe it will have a fairy tale ending, but that is the best case scenerio. I live in Louisiana and I have seen this happen to other people, with HORRIBLE outcomes!

There was an MD who I kind of had the same relationship with as you described, and a prepostreous rumor got started when a CNA saw us coming out of the stairwell together. I was divorced at the time and he was married with 2 kids. Anyway, the rumor mill started flying and by the end of the 12 hour shift, it got back to me that we _______ on the sts on night shift and that I was pregnant and having his ''love child''. Fummy thing about that kind of crap, I didn't even work graveyard, and I have never seen someone come off the stairs and suddenly become pregnant!!

Anyway, we did happen to be friends and this was 17 years ago. He knew it was BS and I knew it was BS, but the people starting and spreading the gossip didn't care. He is a gen. surgeon and his partner came to the floor and pulled me aside and told me what everyone was
thinking.

We both retained an attorney, and just by sheer luck, we used the same one. He got things stopped pretty fast, and it was especially hard because one of the gossip mongers was the ADON!

Lomg story short, even if you just stay friends, it can damage your reputation professionally. The partner that broke the news to me said his wife found out because she plays bridge with the MDs wife.

Good luck with whatever you decide, just think about it.

Anne, RNC

Hospitals...... and rumors?????????

Say it isn't so!

[canoehead]

I took a shine to a married doc- that is until he reciprocated. Funny how a married man will throw over his wife for someone he barely knows, and how that can cools the romance jets faster than you'd predict. If he is married do you want to be the gal on the side, or would you trust him to be faithful to you if he finally married you? There is no future in it.

[SICU Queen]

If he IS married, remember this as well: when a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening.

Words of wisdom from my Granny, many years ago.

[cowgrrlRN]

All I have to say is don't get your honey where you get your money. I broke my own rule once by dating another nurse briefly. It still has its awkward moments. Fortunately we are both mature enough to keep personal issues out of our professional lives(the ending for most workplace romances is NOT this good).

As for how you handle being around him and his joking. Be playful back but keep professional boundaries in mind. I swear its ok to have a little fun at work as long as responsibilities are being met!

[Oz2]

But geepers...it works on the show ER...Everybody has slept with everybody.