[cotjockey]

This is long and really has nothing to do with anything, but...

Three or four times a year, I have to travel because of my job. I have an annual worskshop that my corporate office puts on, plus two or three more. Usually I travel with another nurse who doesn't work in my department, but in a pretty similar one, so we end up at a lot of the same things.

Here's my issue...the corporation will pay for one room...if you want/need a private room, you have to pay for half of what a double room would cost. I've traveled with this other nurse three times and all three times I've gone on two or three hours sleep a night because we both have very different sleep habits. So...I decided that from now on, I am going to pay the extra $$$ to get my own room (only the person who requests the private room has to pay the extra $$$). So...that means that she will also end up alone or she will end up sharing a room with someone else in the corporation who works at another facility...and she is furious. It's not that I don't like her or that I don't want to share a room with her, but I just can't go for several days on such little sleep.

I like it to be pretty quiet when I sleep...I don't mind "white noise" like a fan, but I like it quiet. She shares a house with three other people...all three are younger than her and work off shifts and there is always a TV or a radio or a stereo on, so she has adjusted to sleep with a lot of noise...and honestly doesn't sleep well if it is quiet. She keeps the TV on all night and wakes up if I turn it off, so I either leave it on, or she is awake (and angry about it). She also snores...I know I do too, but my husband and the tech at the sleep lab both say it is pretty quiet and not all the time...I could hear her snoring even when I was in the bathroom. She leaves her cell phone on all night...I do that too, but I set it to silent except for work, home, and the alarm clock. She gets text messages all through the night and has it set up to play a "reminder beep" every ten minutes until she reads them. She sleeps through that too. She was really upset because I picked up her phone and clicked the "view later" button so the beeping would stop. And she likes it to be very warm when she sleeps...there is always someone awake at her house and her house is always kept at about 75°. I like it to be cooler, but it is something that her wishes always seem to prevail on...she won't compromise and have it a little cooler than she likes and a little warmer than I do...it is simply as warm as she wants it.

So...she is mad because she is going to either end up rooming alone or is going to be stuck with someone she doesn't know any time we travel together. I really tried to explain it to her so that it seemed like my fault not hers, but she is still mad. I've tried wearing earplugs and taking Benadryl, but my I still feel tired throughout the day. I don't really know if I am asking for advice or just venting or what but thanks for reading either way!

Oh...I also have occasional issues with insomnia...the night nurse in me will never go away. Sometimes I just crash at three in the afternoon or right after supper and then only sleep until two or three in the morning...if I have my own room, I can sleep whenever it suits me and I don't have to worry about disturbing someone else with my goofy schedule. If I am rooming with someone, I feel obliged to stay in bed, keep the lights off, etc. If I were alone, I could read or whatever if I woke up in the middle of the night.

[CritterLover]

My sleep habits are similar to the way you describe hers (TV on, lights OK, sleep through just about anything but silence...)

It wouldn't bother me at all that you wanted a private room. Actually, I'd prefer it, and feel guilty that you had to pay extra and I didn't.

But, I'm not a particularly social person, and I bet that she is.

She probably feels a tad bit rejected. And, she needs to be an adult and get over it, because it isn't personal. You need your sleep.

[Angie O'Plasty, RN]

Welcome to my world. This is what happens to my poor DH -- he likes it quiet, dark and frankly, that only wakes me up. If I try to leave the TV on for white noise, then he cannot get to sleep.

We've been together for over 20 years and we still get along.

My point is: Looks like she'll just have to get over it. You've been more than accommodating.

Get your own room next time and get some rest.

[Spidey's mom]

NO TV's IN THE BEDROOM! That is just not right. I never let my kids have tv's or computers in their rooms. Especially computers but that is another story.

I would not have a problem if you chose to room alone - I prefer to room alone.

Can I go with you?

I do have a fan on for "white noise" due to my tinnitus. But I heard from a counselor a long time ago that a tv in the bedroom robs a couple of intimacy. I don't want to be robbed.

I had a nurse roommate in Vietnam - she asked me right away if I minded that she would sometimes walk around without clothes on - I said "no problem". However, she walked around ALL the time w/o clothes on. When she was repacking her suitcase. When she was painting her nails. When she was laying on the bed reading a book. That was just too much for me but I didn't say anything.

I think your former roommate needs to lighten up - this is no big deal and she should relish having a room to herself!

She is wrong.

steph

[cotjockey]

I think the TV wouldn't have bothered me so much if there hadn't been a lot of thunderstorms and tornados in the area...they kept blasting weather alerts (none close enough to us to matter, but still close enough to have the alerts over local TV). I fall asleep OK if the kids are still awake or if my husband is using the computer or something, but I don't get back to sleep very well if I wake up to a lot of noise.

[zoeboboey]

Originally Posted by cotjockey

This is long and really has nothing to do with anything, but...

She'll get over it. And you don't have to see her all the time, right?

Seems like an excellent idea - you do need your rest!!

[earle58]

dang, what is wrong with some people?
somehow, they manage to make it all about them.
pragmatism has been tossed by the wayside:
replaced with perpetual cajoling in attempts to soothe one's tattered ego.
ugh.
so darned irritating.
you've made a great case on why you are incompatible as roommates.
what on God's green earth is so hard to understand about that?

she'll get over it.
and if she doesn't, pffffffft.

sweet dreams, my friend.

leslie

[bethin]

She needs to get over it and I'd tell her that too.

You've done all the compromising and she's done none. Why, if she does not wake up, does she leave her cell phone on?? Couldn't she just tell loved ones that if there is an emergency to call the hotel and have it patched through?

Some people.

[traumaRUs]

You've been more than gracious. Get some sleep! Take care.

[donster]

I agree with everyone here; you've been more than generous in meeting her halfway, and she's been nothing but selfish.

I think it sucks to be her. She'll have to deal. I mean, what's not to like about rooming by yourself at someone else's expense??? I don't get it.