[barefootlady]

Like the other posters, I think you have attempted to be gracious in explaining your problem with getting sleep. Now, just get your room and get the rest you need.

This person certainlyhas issues and you do not need to deal with those. Something tells me she is a pill to deal with.

[llg]

I agree with everyone else. You have been more than accommodating and she has not. Tell her that you like her as a person, but that you need your sleep -- and a sleep environment that meets your sleep needs.

Would you be willing to share a room with her if she were to accommodate your sleep needs (without being grouchy)? If you would consider that, you might want to let her make the decision as to whether or not she wants to acoommodate your needs. Tell her that you understand that she might not want to do that ... but that in the interest of preserving your friendship, you would be willing to give it a try. Specify the accommodations you would need (all of which sound perfectly reasonable to me) and then let the decision be hers. It might mean that you would have to endure 1 more "bad trip," but it might be worth the risk if you want to preserve the friendship. If it got too bad, you might be able to get a private room for yourself for the later nights of the conference.

Another thought here -- not just for the OP, but for people in general. ...
Perhaps you could suggest to your supervisor that the company develop guidelines for people sharing hotel rooms. While I understand that some people sleep with the lights on, TV, etc., that is not what experts recommend and no one should be forced to have a roommate who insisted on that sort of thing. Make a list of those things (including the cell phone beeps every 10 minutes) and say that "as an employee, I should not be forced to sleep under these conditions." Your boss may well support you -- which could lead to some new policies or guidelines to help employees deal with such issues.

[Sabby_NC]

Totally agree with other posters here.

You do what you are comfortable with.

You have been very accommodating.

Move on and enjoy your sleep

[Dental Hygienist]

Neither of you are exactly WRONG...she is just being immature by being upset about it. She'll get over it...maybe the two of you aren't going to be BFFs now...but if you can deal with that then just be cordial to her and let it go and enjoy your rest. If you want to be friends with her then you could sit her down an explain exactly why your sleep patterns are too different to be compatible, but that it is in no way a rejection of her friendship and perhaps suggest that you meet for breakfast or coffee on these trips.

I pity anyone who gets stuck with me as a roommate, I CANNOT sleep unless the TV is on....I like the room cool, and I use my cell phone as an alarm but manage to sleep through it repeatedly until my roommate wakes me up. I SUCK as a roommate, but at least I realize it and apologize constantly. I would gladly pay a little extra money to have a room to myself and hide all my bad habits from my co-workers. Unfortunately my employer doesn't offer different accommodations options...sometimes he tries to bunk us 3 to a room to save money...now THAT is annoying!

Don't sweat it...you've behaved appropriately for the situation

[KaroSnowQueen]

If I wasn't so danged antisocial, I'd go with you!! I need it cool, dark and quiet to sleep. I would've been paying the extra $$$ for my own room loooooooooonng ago!!!!
She needs to get over it. You need your own sleep needs met, and if her habits interfere with yours, then you will sleep in a seperate room and EVERYBODY should be happy. If she's not, let her worry about that. You are doing the right thing, she is not.

[caliotter3]

You've explained your reasoning and she should understand. Perhaps she should make more of an effort to find a room mate that is more compatible. Do what you need to get your rest. The idea about bringing this subject up to managment is a very good one. It is not fair that one person gets penalized for getting a separate room when the other doesn't. Both should pay equally. Even so, pay the extra money so you can rest in peace. (No pun intended!)

[lvnandmomx3]

I do not think it is a matter of who is wrong or right. You sound like you have compromised and she did not budge on anything. I share the same sleep habits with regards of the the tv, but I am also considerate if I am not the only one sleeping in the room. Not sure why she is so upset if she is possible going to have a room to herself. I would not worry to much about it she wiil eventally come around.

[dianah]

Originally Posted by Tracylvn

I do not think it is a matter of who is wrong or right. You sound like you have compromised and she did not budge on anything. I share the same sleep habits with regards of the the tv, but I am also considerate if I am not the only one sleeping in the room. Not sure why she is so upset if she is possible going to have a room to herself. I would not worry to much about it she wiil eventally come around.

And, it is not up to you to make her happy.
You need your sleep, in your own way.
She got her sleep in her own way, you did not.
She did nothing to compromise.

Don't feel guilty about the room.
Just get a good sleep.

[Spidey's mom]

Originally Posted by llg

Another thought here -- not just for the OP, but for people in general. ...
Perhaps you could suggest to your supervisor that the company develop guidelines for people sharing hotel rooms. While I understand that some people sleep with the lights on, TV, etc., that is not what experts recommend and no one should be forced to have a roommate who insisted on that sort of thing. Make a list of those things (including the cell phone beeps every 10 minutes) and say that "as an employee, I should not be forced to sleep under these conditions." Your boss may well support you -- which could lead to some new policies or guidelines to help employees deal with such issues.

This is a great suggestion - have guidelines prior to folks picking roommates and going on company sponsored trips.

Research does show that sleeping with the TV or radio on makes for less restful sleep.

I do have to have a fan on though - my tinnitus, as I sit here typing, is very high-pitched and loud. Hard to sleep when I focus on that.

steph

[mshultz]

cotjockey:

I can understand your problem because there are personality traits that we share. By trying to be accommodating and avoiding confrontation, you have allowed your roommate to have her way in every little detail.

At one time, I thought that when you conceded on 90% of the issues, the other person would be grateful that they only had to concede on the remaining 10%. Instead, the sad truth is that they see your concessions as a weakness, and angrily demand unconditional surrender on your part.

Your roommate is angry because she knows any other roommate would not put up with her unreasonable demands. She would have to compromise, instead of bullying you into submission.

Tell her that you have decided to pay for a private room. Do not continue to explain why, or to apologize. Apologies and explanations just encourage these people to press on with their unreasonable demands. Just keep repeating that you have decided to pay for a private room.