[KellieNurse06]

Originally Posted by mercyteapot

What about when people say ''I could never do it?'' I feel like asking them what it is they'd do, then. Drop their kid off at the base of a mountain and hope that a pack of wolves would adopt him and raise him as one of their own? I really believe that these people think we don't even love our children, we just take care of them out of a sense of obligation or something...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!rotflmao.....exactly.......boy, if we lived in China we could just leave 'em on the side of the road to die for crying out loud!!! Really...I agree!!!!!
I say to those people....I just do it, I don't think about it..sure I get aggravated, tired ...all of it......but I couldn't imagine my life without her........and when she is gone I will be lost but I will go on & have no regrets and one thing I can say to people isregardless of what anyone says, thinks or feels.......all that matters is that she was loved......that is something basic that some people never even have....
One time my aunt who can be very ignorant had the odacity to say to me...." you know when she dies you can't keep getting her money"
please........I don't have her home "to get her money".........I'd rather have nothing & be happy than to have everything & be unhappy........and if she thinks a crappy social security check is alot of money .....all I can say is good luck & more power to ya!!.. my life does not revolve around how much money I can get out of my kid......lol....honestly!!

[tatgirl]

My son was born with CP and was blind, and deaf from birth. He also had a rare genetic disorder and had some facial deformities (due to the risk involved to him, we had decided not to have corrective surgery done). We took him everywhere we went, and one day I was at Home Depot pushing his wheelchair and pulling a cart, and a lady came up and told me ( I cant believe that you would take him out in public". WTH????????? This is my son and I love him more then anyone on this earth, I was so shocked the only that came out of my mouth was " Mind your own business biotch. He deserves to be out in the world, not hidden away like some deep dark secret". I never minded the curiosity of children, they would ask questions and I would answer them on a level they could understand. Most people were kind, but there are others who are just plain ignornant. I wonder how they would feel if they had a child with a disability????? My monstor in law never held him......... That is her loss. Unfortunately my son passed away at the age of 5 in 1995. I have 5 years of memories from the brief time that Ihad with him. Believe me if I could turn back time, and have him back I would.
He is the reason I am a nurse today.

Wendy
LPN

[mercyteapot]

Originally Posted by tatgirl

My son was born with CP and was blind, and deaf from birth. He also had a rare genetic disorder and had some facial deformities (due to the risk involved to him, we had decided not to have corrective surgery done). We took him everywhere we went, and one day I was at Home Depot pushing his wheelchair and pulling a cart, and a lady came up and told me ( I cant believe that you would take him out in public". WTH????????? This is my son and I love him more then anyone on this earth, I was so shocked the only that came out of my mouth was " Mind your own business biotch. He deserves to be out in the world, not hidden away like some deep dark secret". I never minded the curiosity of children, they would ask questions and I would answer them on a level they could understand. Most people were kind, but there are others who are just plain ignornant. I wonder how they would feel if they had a child with a disability????? My monstor in law never held him......... That is her loss. Unfortunately my son passed away at the age of 5 in 1995. I have 5 years of memories from the brief time that Ihad with him. Believe me if I could turn back time, and have him back I would.
He is the reason I am a nurse today.

Wendy
LPN

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad you said that to the woman. So often, what happens when someone says something that offensive, we are too taken aback to respond. They just go about their merry way, throwing hurtful remarks about left and right because no one ever tells them how out of line they really are.

[tatgirl]

Thank you mercy. The look on her face was priceless!!!!! I sincerely hope that she will think twice before she says something like that again... That incident happened 15 years ago, but the emotions that boiled over have stayed with me. I was my son's advocate. I was his voice, and in the 5 years that we had him, I stood up to insensitive doctors, and yes family members as well. The way I saw it, was that my son needed me and his dad to be his voice and advocate for him. I am sure that I made some people mad, but I sure as heck didnt care. The only thing that mattered was my son, and I didnt want him treated like an oddity.......

Wendy
LPN

[KellieNurse06]

((((((tatgirl))))) I am sorry for your loss, it's so obvious you loved your son more than life........I know remarks people make do stick with you......I have heard some in the past myself that I still think of to this day...only like mercy said I was so taken aback I thought of a response after the fact......now I come right out with them & don't care what anyone says........must be due to getting older.........they say when you near 40ish in age you start to not care what anyone thinks and you'll say whatever you are thinking...and I think there is alot of truth in that! lol! Like you I became a nurse due to my child.....go figure! lol! I do think that gives us an advantage though over parents who will go through stuff with their kids that we have already been through....true empathy , so that you CAN say " I know how you are feeling, I've been there" and really be a support outlet..........well good luck!

[MomNRN]

I love reading all of your posts.

I spent 4 years as a RN at a school for special needs kids. I loved every minute of it. I only left because the pay was lousy. My own kids were getting older, and I needed more money.

I loved those kids like they were my own. I heard the phrase about the special place in heaven crap too. I do think not everyone can do the job though. You are either comfortable or you are not.

One of my favorite stories involved a student who pulled her feeding tube button out and handed it to a visitor. She turned 8 shades of green as I put a drinking straw in it to keep the stoma open.

Another time there was a visitor who was touring the building. He was oohing and ahhing and attempting to make friends with all of the kids. Well he got too close to a fairly large, approximately 20 year old, female student. We tried to warn him that she didn't like men and not to get too close. Of course, he thought we didn't know what we were talking about, until she popped him in the nose. I almost wet myself laughing.

Part of the reason I loved that job was because I had a severely brain damaged child who died at 7 weeks of age. He would have attended the school I worked for. He too is the reason I became a nurse. It was like going full circle for me.

[DDRN4me]

Kellie, tat and RNmom... thanks for your posts... I never cease to learn from parents of the kids i care for.. one of the reasons i am good at what i do (not tooting my own horn, i have been told and do everything i can to be the best nurse i can for 'my'kids.) is that i have talked to many moms and truly believe that they know their children best and can help me give the best care. I am currently working with adults but cant wait to get back to my pedi world!

[tatgirl]

Thank all of you for your kind words. Right now I work in LTC, but eventually I hope to work in a home for special kids. I love children, and believe all children, ( and elderly too!) are worthy of love and respect. All too often society forgets about these things.

Wendy

[Suesquatch]

I'm also in LTC and the thing that strikes me a similar to this is how many people really don't see these folks as people, as if they have no emotions or understanding. Everyone understands kindness and respect, and responds to them.

[firstaiddave907]

Originally Posted by linda scottish nurse

well said i oftent get frustrated at peoples narrow mindness and judgement too your so right. I also hate other people judging someone elses quality of life?
And assuming all disabled people are drooling and down syndrome.

I want to punch narrow mindness people in the nose

linda

I agree with wat you said it was very well put.