Trying this again (I cut off the last post).
I can't believe I almost missed this thread. This is a passion of mine.
Here's my story.
My youngest son was born in Dec 1999. The pregnancy, labor and birth were pretty much uneventful. My son had a little hypoglycemia at birth but since he was 10 lbs 1 oz...that's not unusual (you think that's something, my oldest was 11 lbs 4 oz and no I am not diabetic).
His development was pretty normal until Sept 2001. He was a little slow for his speech but since he was walking at 8 months and his older brother was a "slow talker", I wasn't too worried. Besides, he did talk a little. He also had a "little temper" but nothing too big and nothing I thought unusual. Then came sept 2001.
My child was then about 20 months and he changed. He no longer said the few words he could say, he severly and I do mean SEVERELY tantrumed. He would bang his head on the wall and the screaming hardly stopped from sunup to sundown. I don't remember him really playing with toys but what he did become fascinated with was plastic coke bottle caps. That's all he wanted to "play" with. He would just carry them around. And, don't let me be in a store and him see someone else's top. He would scream bloody murder for it.
At first, I thought "well, he's just starting to go into the terrible two's and it's going to be worse that my older child" but as time went on I became concerned. He did not want to wear clothes, he was absolutely terrified of the sound of the toilet and he would rub his head on the ground. He also sucked on washclothes and clothes. He acted like he couldn't hear me at times even though I knew he could hear. And, I remember him "blank staring" a lot.
A couple of months into it I took him to the doctor and expressed my concern over his delayed speech. I thought that if he could talk, his tantrums might decrease. The doctor referred me to the Auburn University Speech and Hearing Clinic (we lived in Auburn, AL). I took him and he could hear fine. But, the speech therapist was a little concerned over his speech. So, she referred me to early intervention. We started going and the spring of 2002 was when I first heard the term PDD. Now, my son was not dx'd with that but some people thought he might fit it somewhat. At early intervention, it was obvious that he wanted nothing to do with the people or the kids there. Add that to his "quirks".
I took him to a child psychologist and after several weeks of observations...she knew something was wrong with him but all she would officially "label" him with was expressive aphasia. Well, no s*** shirlock. I knew he couldn't talk. I didn't take him for that, I took him for his tantrums.
We got my son into a program called project AIM at AU after he was no longer eligible for EA. And, during this time, he finally started to really communicate. Although his tantrums did not decrease. I started to become worried then. I had always held onto the hope that his tantrums were caused by his inability to speak.
I started to remember that he changed in 9/01 and I wondered why at that time.
The fall of 2002 I was invited to a meeting in which a DAN! (defeat autism now) doctor was speaking in Montgomery. I went because I was curious. I had started to read up on autism and it seemed to fit my son...or at least PDD did anyway. Dr. Jean Corbier spoke of the autism-thimerasol connection and by the end I was crying. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Worse, I vaguely remembered my son not getting his 18 month vaccinations on time and could not remember exactly when he got them. So when I got back to Auburn that night, I immediately drove to the doctor's office (they stayed open late) and asked to see his shot record. Yep. Right there in black and white, he received his 18 month shots during 9/01.
Imagine my guilt. Imagine my sadness. Imagine my frustration. Imagine my anger. I went through them all. I couldn't help but to wonder what my family's life would be like if he had not received those shots. For almost a year, we had been going through hell. For almost a year a 2 year old had been running the show. Through this year I had many people tell me "oh, it's terrible two's" I had already decided that if one more person told me that I was shoving my fist in their face. I had almost been to the point of putting my son in foster care. I resented him, I hated myself because I did not feel that I had the patience and love to deal with him. Oh yeah. It was bad.
We moved and for the next 2 years, we "dealt with it". I moved down to p'cola to finish my RN and it was only after he bloodied his own nose from banging his face...not his head but his face...into the wall that I knew something had to be done. He had started to spit on me, bite me....he had already been hitting me for 3 years but more was coming. I couldn't imagine how life would be when he is 6'4" and 250 pounds. I took him back to the doctor and he started risperdal. Yeah, risperdal has changed things...but now doc doesn't know what's wrong with him. He says my son fits the criteria for asperger's, adhd, and bipolar. No one wants to dx while he is so young...but, they have no problem putting him on an antipsychotic.
I have no choice. He must be on risperdal. it's the only way that he will have a good childhood and we will have a good life. But, I can't help but wonder what the risperdal is going to do to him long term. So far as I know there are no long term studies on risperdal. If any of you all know, lemme know.
So yeah...all of you that say vaccinate, vaccinate. you're quick to do it because you've never been through what some of us have gone through. You don't have to worry if you child is going to go off meds when he is older and totally ruin his life. You don't have to worry what the meds will do long term. You have normal children that will more-than-likely lead normal lives. Some of us don't.
Did I still get his 5 year old shots? Yes. But I had them separated. One of the clerks at the local health dept actually told me that I couldn't do that. Ok whatever. I got it done. Did I check the label myself? No, I trusted the dept head when she said there was no thimerasol in the bottle. I wish I would have now. But, he has had no "changes" since those shots, so I think we are ok.
My advice is to use a little common sense and not automatically think the gov't or any gov't agency has our best interest in mind.
And to the person that asks why aren't all kids getting it? Just like one other poster said not everyone that smokes gets cancer. All people are different. And, for some reason some children are more predisposed to this than others. A family hx of mental illness also predisposes.
personally, I am not satisfied with the answers. I want more. That's why I'm working on my biochemistry degree asap, leaving nursing, and studying the brain. I want to know why this is happening to our kids...and what we can do about it.
Sorry this is so long...but if it just helps one person...it's worth it.
Peggy, I'm sending you a PM.
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