[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by earle58

those damned detrusors.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Even in the middle of crisis, you always come up with the great one-liners!!!!! You should be a comedian........I know I'd come to your show The mental pictures of you laughing, and then ~SLORP~ .........well, as Larry the Cable Guy always says: "I don't care who y'are, that's FUNNY"!!

[Mijourney]

This, my friends, is a major breakthrough for me. Today the fog which has enveloped me like a toxic cloud for months has lifted, and suddenly it's all clear as a bell: changing my job, changing where I live, changing my diet---NONE of it will make a difference as long as I keep dragging the old guilt along with me. If I can let it go.......if I can just accept myself, warts and all, as I am accepted by my family and friends.......then it won't matter what sort of work I do, where I go, what I weigh. What a truly liberating concept!!
__________________

Best wishes to you Marla. I agree with you that "letting go" and as some religious and spiritual people will say "letting God" is the perfect answer to your situation. God loves you, your family and friends love you, now you just need to love yourself. You can do it! Not under your own power, but the almighty power of God.

I agree with all the previous posters regarding your circumstances. If you don't mind I will pray about your situation and ask for healing and deliverance.

[VivaLasViejas]

Thank you, Mijourney......I can use all the prayers and good thoughts I can get!

I too am a spiritual person, and even in these past few months which have been so difficult, I've stayed in touch with God and talked with Him on a regular basis. Maybe that's why things are beginning to come together a little now.......He does test us from time to time, and every so often when I get complacent and comfortable, He plants his boot in my posterior and gives me a shove!

[elizabells]

Originally Posted by mjlrn97

I am by nature sensual and lazy, and hard physical work that hurts me and wears me out must be my subconscious attempt to expiate what I have been taught all my life are mortal sins.

You and me both, Marla (can I call you Marla?) Someday, we Jews/Catholics/everybody else raised in a guilt-fostering tradition will figure out that we do not have to constantly compensate the universe for the unforgiveable sin of our inborn suckiness.

Would it help if I confessed that I totally look up to you? I know I don't know you, but to paraphrase franemtrn's sig, just because we've never met doesn't mean you don't inspire me. I wanna still be sassy and kick-*ss like you when I "grow up".

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by elizabells

You and me both, Marla (can I call you Marla?) Someday, we Jews/Catholics/everybody else raised in a guilt-fostering tradition will figure out that we do not have to constantly compensate the universe for the unforgiveable sin of our inborn suckiness.

Would it help if I confessed that I totally look up to you? I know I don't know you, but to paraphrase franemtrn's sig, just because we've never met doesn't mean you don't inspire me. I wanna still be sassy and kick-*ss like you when I "grow up".

Awwww........shucks, I'm speechless.

Actually, that is probably among the top 10 nicest things anyone ever said to me. Thank you, dear, you just made my day.

Oh, and by all means call me Marla......everybody here knows me by that name.

[elizabells]

Originally Posted by mjlrn97

Awwww........shucks, I'm speechless.

Actually, that is probably among the top 10 nicest things anyone ever said to me. Thank you, dear, you just made my day.

Oh, and by all means call me Marla......everybody here knows me by that name.

And as to your signature? WORD.

[VivaLasViejas]

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: my organization just happens to have a 24-hr/week position in hospice open......guess who applied for it today?

I've already realized that I've GOT to get out of med/surg, or at least stop working it four days a week, year in and year out. I'd suspected I was going to have to give it up at some point, probably when I got close to 50 or a little over, but I'm not going to last that long and I know it. What I'm thinking about doing is, IF I get the hospice position, I'll go casual at the hospital and pick up a few shifts a month, just to keep my skills sharp and earn some extra money. I don't want to leave M/S entirely, but I'm burning out, and my body knows it even if my mind still doesn't want to wrap itself around that concept.

Thank you once again to everybody who's offered advice, encouragement, support, suggestions, and prayers on my behalf. The past two days, I've felt better both physically and mentally than I have in months, and even though I am going back to work tomorrow, I can deal for a little while until the changes I want and need can be made.

[JSRNTN]

I would just like to share my thoughts about your situation as I have felt the same way. I had to leave ER, which was an area that I truly enjoyed, because of degenerative changes in my back. I was clearly not able to stand the demands of the job. At the time, I thought my nursing career was over. I finally began to step out and try other areas of nursing and I am currently working as an Occupational Health Nurse. I make several dollars an hour more and my job is no where near as stressful or physically demanding. I try to make decisions based on that my ability to work is my business and I have to make decisions that will enhance or improve that business. If you can find work that is less demanding on you overall then you can always do Med-Surg on the side.

[jyoung1950]

Well, Marla, I'm not a nurse but I am a CNA and 54 and burnt out like I've never been in my life before.

I got into the health care area about 3 1/5 years ago because - at least in the city I live in - it has the most job security.

I started out and trained to be a CNA at a nursing home. Got a few years of experience there and then moved on to a nearby hospital. If I can get the training, there are more opportunities to get into another career.

I thought about nursing also when I decided my career change from secretarial/accounting clerical work but after observing the stress you all are under, I said "nyet".

At first, at this hospital, work seemed not as stressful as the nursing home.

But it has become in the last 9 months as hard as the nursing home. No need to explain to you all that 90% of our patients are elderly, have 3-4 chronic problems to address in addition to the primary one they were admitted for.

I'm the type that will kick a$$ to get the job done (even at my old age!). I rotate, like may others here, from day shift to evening and back again.

A typical patient workload is 15+. That means that my work area is not a compact 6 patient area but one half the size of a football field. That means that not one nurse but 2-3+ need my attention.

To sum up, when I am done, I'm am numb. I don't want to talk to anyone on the phone or elsewhere. I don't want to socialize. I don't want to pay bills, do laundry, dust, clean house, tackle the yard, etc.

I want to send my mind to another place such as here or elsewhere on the Internet, read or watch TV. I don't want my body to have to move.

I am single and have no children.

I am done for and too tired to work on schooling which might help me get out of this rut.

We give and give and give all day, 8+ hours a day, not only to our patients but to the higher ups so their precious hospital can get on some "Best Hospitals in the Country" list, to family members who are allowed to talk to us as no other professional needs to tolerate.

What other job demands so much? Why do we continue to put up with it until we are so wrecked, the management has to put us out to pasture? At this rate, the new graduate nurses in their 20's will be catatonic when they reach their mid 30's.

Cripes, at the hospital I work at, there were 20 calloffs on day shift day before yesterday.

I'm a praying person and too often all I can do is pray "please God, help me".

I need every dang dime I make and yet don't volunteer for overtime work which would help me because I need my 2 days a week to recuperate and that's not cutting it any more. If there's a low census day, and I am called to see if I want it, I take it even though my PTO may be zip and I will get less money in my pay check.

I've seen my doctor 3 times so far this year about fatique. He took blood tests for rheumatoid arthritus, anemia, lupus and some other things and everything was fine. (You know it's bad, when you hope something shows up so you may be able to get a rest!)

He prescribed Wellbutrin and then doubled it for energy, he said, and nothing's changed.

So often, when I start the shift and take vitals, my patients tell me I look so tired.

Well, thank's for letting me vent.

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by jyoung1950

Well, Marla, I'm not a nurse but I am a CNA and 54 and burnt out like I've never been in my life before.

I got into the health care area about 3 1/5 years ago because - at least in the city I live in - it has the most job security.

I started out and trained to be a CNA at a nursing home. Got a few years of experience there and then moved on to a nearby hospital. If I can get the training, there are more opportunities to get into another career.

I thought about nursing also when I decided my career change from secretarial/accounting clerical work but after observing the stress you all are under, I said "nyet".

At first, at this hospital, work seemed not as stressful as the nursing home.

But it has become in the last 9 months as hard as the nursing home. No need to explain to you all that 90% of our patients are elderly, have 3-4 chronic problems to address in addition to the primary one they were admitted for.

I'm the type that will kick a$$ to get the job done (even at my old age!). I rotate, like may others here, from day shift to evening and back again.

A typical patient workload is 15+. That means that my work area is not a compact 6 patient area but one half the size of a football field. That means that not one nurse but 2-3+ need my attention.

To sum up, when I am done, I'm am numb. I don't want to talk to anyone on the phone or elsewhere. I don't want to socialize. I don't want to pay bills, do laundry, dust, clean house, tackle the yard, etc.

I want to send my mind to another place such as here or elsewhere on the Internet, read or watch TV. I don't want my body to have to move.

I am single and have no children.

I am done for and too tired to work on schooling which might help me get out of this rut.

We give and give and give all day, 8+ hours a day, not only to our patients but to the higher ups so their precious hospital can get on some "Best Hospitals in the Country" list, to family members who are allowed to talk to us as no other professional needs to tolerate.

What other job demands so much? Why do we continue to put up with it until we are so wrecked, the management has to put us out to pasture? At this rate, the new graduate nurses in their 20's will be catatonic when they reach their mid 30's.

Cripes, at the hospital I work at, there were 20 calloffs on day shift day before yesterday.

I'm a praying person and too often all I can do is pray "please God, help me".

I need every dang dime I make and yet don't volunteer for overtime work which would help me because I need my 2 days a week to recuperate and that's not cutting it any more. If there's a low census day, and I am called to see if I want it, I take it even though my PTO may be zip and I will get less money in my pay check.

I've seen my doctor 3 times so far this year about fatique. He took blood tests for rheumatoid arthritus, anemia, lupus and some other things and everything was fine. (You know it's bad, when you hope something shows up so you may be able to get a rest!)

He prescribed Wellbutrin and then doubled it for energy, he said, and nothing's changed.

So often, when I start the shift and take vitals, my patients tell me I look so tired.

Well, thank's for letting me vent.

Anytime, jyoung.........that's what we're here for!

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I don't, so all I can say is, THANK YOU for doing what is one of the hardest and most thankless jobs in health care. I was a CNA before I became an RN, and even though my experience was a bit different, I know how hard you all work and how poorly you're paid in comparison with those who are a little higher on the healthcare food chain. I also know what you mean about being so burned-out that you welcome low-census days and accept that first cut whether you have PTO or not......I'm in the same position, and sometimes I too will take a cut just because I need the time off even more than I need the money (and I DO need the money).

Thanks for posting, and hang in there if you can.......and if you can't, PLEASE don't feel guilty about it. This job has done in a lot of good people; you and I aren't the first, nor will we be the last, unfortunately.