[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by NurseyBaby'05

Does your facility/floor use agency nurses? If so, try to have the agency place you on the floor you were on before, for 3-11 shift. If the hospital is not willing to do this for you, but pay twice as much for someone outside to do it, why not have that outside person be you?

No such luck......up until 2 months ago, I could have, because our organization had an 'in-house' registry which partially staffed all five of our hospitals when the census was high or an individual facility's employee roster was low. Unfortunately, it was abolished in March when all facilities were deemed to be staffed adequately with permanent employees; a lot of our part-timers (and even a few full-timers) were left without that second income, and it hit them really hard, because they were making upwards of $40 an hour for the same jobs they held at ours for much less.

Thanks for the thought, though......if I were of a mood to leave my organization, I'd go with agency in a heartbeat, but I've finally gotten to the point where I'll be fully vested in the company's pension plan if I stay with them for only another 9 months. Besides, I like the company I work for and wish to stay with them anyway, at least until we move out of state in a couple of years. I am still looking at the 24-hour-per-week position at our regional medical center, though; it's on the 3-11 shift, and I like the physical set-up there as well.

What I would like more than anything is to go back to where I started, and that's with the part-time 3-11 shift......it gave me enough hours for benefits, and I could always pick up more when needed. Oh well, you win a few, you lose a few.

[cheerfuldoer]

((((((Marla)))))) I truly do feel your pain, and totally get where you are coming from in your first post, and others you have posted here. I'm also going through the need to make some serious changes in my life...with my nursing career...etc.. I need to treat myself better. My mind wants to do one thing, but my body, my spirit, and my emotions are screaming for relief...for freedom from anguish and being stressed out all the time. I'm down to turning off the ringer on my phone from bedtime until I feel like hearing it ring the next morning -- usually AFTER I have taken care of myself in the mornings [including nourishing my body which I have a tendency to NOT feed until late in the day].

I'm back on my Celexa everyday. I don't cry as much now, but still feel as if life is passing me by...the nights aren't long enough, and the days are too short.

I'm going to be moving again soon because the area I've been living in since last Fall isn't lucrative enough for me employment wise. I'd LOVE to have Heaven rain money right into my lap that would at least ease many financial burdens I have right now. I find myself just putting one foot in front of the other every minute of every day. It's a struggle, but it's something I MUST continue doing. I know SOMETHING is going to come along for me for the better..........WHEN is the question.

[earle58]

marla,

i understand you have much invested at your workplace.
yet the stress levels are reeking havoc on your mind, body and spirit.
your body has been telling you for months now, to slow down.
by all means, go for the 24 hr position at the sister facility.
but if that doesn't materialize, then what?
you cannot continue working under the current conditions. you just can't.
so you need a back-up plan.
have you considered home health nsg?
you have so much autonomy; the pay is good and you can take any assignments you choose to, or not.

i'm a firm believer in the correlation between stressors and what impact they have on our bodies.
you really need to think of an alternative plan in the event you don't get that other position.
i truly believe if you remain in that super stressful environment, you're going to get sick again, physically and mentally.
personally, i think you'd make a wonderful hospice nurse.
just keep your options opened and more important, be good to yourself.

leslie xo

[Mimi2RN]

Marla, knowing where you are, I think you should take the road to the west, instead of into town. It's been a good many years since I was there, but I think you'll like the other place, and if you like swing shift and can get it, you will be much happier. Maybe you will manage to eat better, too.

Are you really planning on moving out of state? Aren't you going to be a grandma this year? Don't move too far from your grandbaby. I've spent a lot of time on the road since mine were born. I've started taking the train as the driving wears me out.
You could always move to Cali, I do appreciate California disability. It's one of the reasons we still live here.

C.diff is nasty, a month of flagyl works, though. Hope you soon feel better.

Time to walk the dogs.

Mimi

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by earle58

marla,

i understand you have much invested at your workplace.
yet the stress levels are reeking havoc on your mind, body and spirit.
your body has been telling you for months now, to slow down.
by all means, go for the 24 hr position at the sister facility.
but if that doesn't materialize, then what?
you cannot continue working under the current conditions. you just can't.
so you need a back-up plan.
have you considered home health nsg?
you have so much autonomy; the pay is good and you can take any assignments you choose to, or not.

i'm a firm believer in the correlation between stressors and what impact they have on our bodies.
you really need to think of an alternative plan in the event you don't get that other position.
i truly believe if you remain in that super stressful environment, you're going to get sick again, physically and mentally.
personally, i think you'd make a wonderful hospice nurse.
just keep your options opened and more important, be good to yourself.

leslie xo

Leslie, my dear, you may have just scored a bull's-eye........I've long thought about hospice, in fact I'm working on the palliative care committee at my workplace which is bringing hospice into the acute care setting (as an alternative to the nursing home for patients who can't or don't want to be cared for in their own home). You are absolutely correct, I can't put all my eggs in one basket, and frankly, another med/surg job is probably not my best bet. The only concern I would have is being on call at night......I have such poor night vision that I only drive where there's plenty of light or where I know the road thoroughly, and NEVER when it's raining. If there is some way to accomodate this small handicap, I could very well be a hospice nurse, and a good one.

Thank you so much, my friend!! I will DEFINITELY look into this.....one of the many health services offered by my organization is hospice care, so I could still stay with the same company and keep my seniority & benefits. What a great thought..........you are BRILLIANT!!

[jkaee]

Marla--
I don't have anything else to add, everyone seems to have mentioned it all, just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts as you work all these things out, both personally and professionally. I know that when I cut my hours back, my outlook and physical well being improved dramatically. Finding a job that suits your needs can do wonders for every aspect of your life. I'm currently starting a 3/4 12 hr days weekend program, and while I hate the fact that I have to leave my baby and older kids, at least I'm there during the week with them and have one weekend a month to go to the shore or do something. So, that helps.....maybe I won't cry too much when I leave my 4 month old

Best wishes to you! Please take care of yourself....

Jennifer

[sbic56]

marla

Lots of empathy coming from this direction! I wasn't physically where you are, but mentally I was so ready for the change. I went from a very busy OB floor to working as a nurse consultant and am so glad I made the move. I have long watched older nurses go through the inevitable decline and knew I was becoming one of them. I call it ONS, old nurse syndrome. It hits most of us sooner or later! Sure, I could keep up and even surpass the efforts of my younger peers, but it got to the point where I said "why"? A different pace has suited me just fine.

You have got to take care of number one. Sure, they want you to stay;they say they need you. Reality is you need you! You have lots of experience. If I were you I'd find something that you can utilize all that experince with and save whats left of your tired body, cuz you're worth it!

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by Mimi2RN

Marla, knowing where you are, I think you should take the road to the west, instead of into town. It's been a good many years since I was there, but I think you'll like the other place, and if you like swing shift and can get it, you will be much happier. Maybe you will manage to eat better, too.

Are you really planning on moving out of state? Aren't you going to be a grandma this year? Don't move too far from your grandbaby. I've spent a lot of time on the road since mine were born. I've started taking the train as the driving wears me out.
You could always move to Cali, I do appreciate California disability. It's one of the reasons we still live here.

C.diff is nasty, a month of flagyl works, though. Hope you soon feel better.

Time to walk the dogs.

Mimi

Hi Mimi, it's been awhile!

Thanks for the suggestion, I know you know the area here and have first-hand knowledge of the facilities in question.

Yes, we are planning to move to a sunnier clime in a couple of years or so; the long gray winters and sodden springs up here get harder on me every year, and I don't think I can handle too many more. At this point, dh and I are trying to talk our daughter and SIL into going with us when we finally do this thing; I feel the same way you do about the idea of being far from my grandchild(ren), and we'll probably all be singing a little different tune when Elijah arrives.

If and when we do move, however, it'll be to Arizona........California's pretty, and I miss it desperately sometimes; but it's waaaaay too congested and infinitely too expensive for us. Besides, I'd hate to move back and find myself on the Governator's sh** list just because I'm a nurse!!

[barefootlady]

Marla,
I don't have any profound words of wisdom or insight for you. I know you are in a bind and need to be very careful, think every issue through to the end, be clear as to what you want and what you can do physically. Mentally you know you just need time to recover from the day to day stress. I just want to let you know I am sending all of the positive thoughts your way I can and saying a prayer that you feel better soon.

[VivaLasViejas]

Originally Posted by sbic56

marla
I call it ONS, old nurse syndrome. It hits most of us sooner or later! Sure, I could keep up and even surpass the efforts of my younger peers, but it got to the point where I said "why"?

DING! DING! DING! We have a winner!!

That is EXACTLY what I've started asking myself lately! Of course I can run myself into the ground trying to keep up with my colleagues, but at what cost? And what's more, what purpose is served by using myself up so quickly that I may soon be of no use to anyone?

Lord, I must be out of my mind if I think I'm doing ANYONE any good by pushing myself like this. Something's gotta give, and I'm damned if it's going to be me.

Thank you, one and all, for your encouragement, wisdom, and caring.......it's already gone a long way toward helping me make some changes and decisions that should have been made a long time ago. I don't know yet where I'm headed, but I'm sure I'll figure it out one of these days.