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by Cattitude

What I'm learning about LTC facilities scare me. I know there must be some good ones out there somewhere????

But really, between staffing issues, cheap owners who shortchange on supplies, MD's who don't want to be bothered.

Is there anyone here who would put there family member in a nursing home? I think of the day when my mother will need care. She is ambulatory now but in the next several years may not be.
I have other options but what about people who don't?

Would you do it? I think I would be very nervous to do so. I know there are wonderful nurses and CNA's in LTC. But not enough to do the job safely. What's the solution?

[traumaRUs]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

My mother had a massive stroke in 1986 when she was 66 y/o. She was aphasic, total care, etc.. She lived only six weeks. Yes, she was in a NH. My husband was in Greenland, and I had a newborn and a 6 y/o and lived in a basement apartment. She died in a NH that was horrid but would take Medicaid-pending. I still feel bad to this day.

My father had a CVA in 2002 and needed assisted living. He was able to pay $4000/month and died in luxury in July 2002.

My MIL had a CVA in 1993 and went to a NH. She too died in 2001 in the ER where I worked.

Moral of my story: don't be old and poor in the US. Get NH insurance if you can afford it. Sock money away.

[Tweety]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

I think about this often as I'm the health care surrogate for my parents and they are both in their 70s. If they deteriorated there's no way I could care for them, so I'd have to explore the options. My sister doesn't work and has some nursing training so she definately is going to help.

But yes, I would consider it, if it was in the best interests of my parents and I couldn't assure their safety. But it is indeed a scarey proposition. I know there are some good ones around here.

[RNsRWe]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

Discussion has come up between hubby and I from time to time, as our parents are aging. We aren't sure how to handle the details, but we'd do absolutely everything in our power to have whomever needs us stay with us. My dh's parents would never consider it while they were both alive, but I think when one passes, the other just might agree to come to us. Same on my side, but less likely since they live so far away and aren't likely to move in the "sunset of their lives".

I know of exactly one nursing home I'd be comfortable sending anyone I loved to. And because of that, the waiting list is so long, they'd be dead before they'd get accepted! There's a second that's not too bad, better than all the rest, but still....is that enough of a standard? Not in my book.

One nursing home out of HOW many? Sad.

[ann945n]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

I worked as a CNA for 2 years in a very posh rich nursing facility top of the line. It still scared me the care given by some of the CNA's, we had a few good ones but mostly bad. I would NEVER ever ever put my parents in any home, no way. I would hire people to care for the 24/7 in their home or mine before i would send them to a place like that. At least then if they were with me i could supervise things and make sure they got what they needed. Also it seemed to easy for even the nice families to forget about their parents in there. Id want my parents close to ones that loved them. Just my two cents

[TazziRN]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

I know a couple of good LTCs in my area but most are either so-so or downright scary. My mom spent one night in a so-so one after her CVA. I called the doc the next morning and told him to find a reason to re-admit her to acute care until we could find another place. We were able to get her into a short-term rehab facility for 3 weeks where they did great. If I absolutely had to put a parent in one because I have no choice, I would, but it would take a lot to reach that point.

[rosygirl]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

My mother went to LTC after a CVA, she was alert, aware and lucid, with L side paralysis. The original plan was for her to do PT and come home to live with me. PT was very difficult for Mom and she didn't do well, so remained in the NH until she died 4 years later. Mom going to the NH was not my choice, but it was good for her, she got good care, and was much loved but the staff (Mom had been a nursing assistant >20 years, she knew what they were dealing with). My brother and I visited 2-3 times a week, and the staff knew us also. As a family we worked hard to show our appreciation for the care Mom recieved, treats several times a year, small individual gifts at Christmas for all staff members (including dietary, housekeeping, activities), and also keep Mom in the family loop of graduations, holidays, parties etc. Iwas a hard 4 years, it is not the way we wanted it, and not a good experience. But shortly before she died I shared with Mom how it broke my heart not to bring her home, to which she said "Oh Honey, don't ever feel guilty, I've never been unhappy here"
We chose a NH with a Christian philosophy that Mom was comfortable with, but I think the attitude of the family is equally important to to the success of the LTC experience

[MBA2BRN]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

No, I will not. I am not judging anyone who chooses to do so. I was not raised to put my family members in a LTC facility.

[crb613]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

Not the ones where I live. My MIL was in one of these & it was terrible. I only hope that my parents can be cared for at home, if something should happen to them.

[eowynmn]

Re: Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

My mom and I actually joke about this. Being that the best part about me becoming a nurse is that she can come live with me when she's older.

MIL will have to go to a home though. She's very mean.

I guess I don't even think about the Dads. I have a preconceived notion that women always outlive their husbands (at least in our families!)