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by RNcDreams

How do you feel when a patient's family member/friend/etc is a nurse, and comes to visit at the hospital?

Do you feel territorial? Are you glad? Do you feel a sense of camaraderie, or do you think "Ughh he/she is going to watch everything I do and ask unreasonable questions" ?

Is it helpful or harmful for the visitor to help (i.e., getting from chair to bed, using bathroom, etc)?

Do you feel comfortable telling that person more detailed/medically related information (with the patient's permission), or at least with medical lingo?

Share your thoughts and gut reactions!

[JaneyW]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

I have found this to be very individualistic with mostly very positive experiences. I had one postpartum pt whose mom was a retired nurse who changed her bed for me. She knew I was very busy with discharges and she said she thought it was fun to do it after being retired for a few years!

I have had grandmas in the labor room who are labor nurses and it has also been pretty positive--I have an ally with the MD! One I will always remember didn't tell me she was a nurse until after the birth when she thanked me for doing a good job with her daughter.

[GrumpyRN63]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

A different spin is when your patient is the nurse, not to hijack the thread,at this stage I really like having nurses as pts, talk shop, swap stories, etc, most are really cool, its the doc's wives that seem to be the biggest PITA.
As far as visitors that are nurses, If they want to help, sure, I never feel intimidated, they can help validate and translate to the layman (or woman) usually more helpful than not

[Wendy_RN]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

I have recently been on the other side of this issue. My grandmother-in-law was transported to the ED last Wednesday and passed away on Thursday. I did not tell them that I am a nurse because I did not want the staff to think I was criticizing their every move. Of course, this is partly because a distant relative of my husband is a nurse and she was a total witch to the staff and disagreed with everything thing said or done. I certainly did not want to be viewed as she was.

I have had nurses as patients and I have really enjoyed taking care of them. It is nice to hear stories from some of the former nurses because they have such a wealth of knowlege.

[everthesame]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

It really does matter on who the nurse/visitor is. Many nurse/visitors are great and can really enhance their loved ones stay in the hospital. A few nurse/visitors can be a real PITA. A few weeks ago I had the "pleasure" of taking care of the father of a nurse I used to work with at another hospital. She quickly got the reputation for being the daughter from He**. I was lucky in that the night I had her father for a pt she had already visited him and had gone home for the night.

BTW, her parents were very demanding and it seems no one could do right by them. The night I had him, I fixed a minor problem for the patient that had been going on since the previous night. I guess that got me on their good side so they weren't very demanding of me but I had to listen to them complain about how the other nurses were not very competent. I understand they were stressed and my small act corrected what they perceived to be a huge problem I just think the problem probably could have been remedied much sooner if they hadn't been so demanding and degrading to the other nurses. Everyone who had him as a patient just wanted to get out of the room ASAP to get away from them and their constant "our daughter Nancy Perfect Nurse" says you are doing this and that wrong.

Then there was the patient with a daughter in law who was a nurse. The pt had C diff and was often incontinent of stool and her DIL would be right there helping to clean up the patient and change her linens. She also helped keep the more demanding members of the family under control.

[wickedrn]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

I don't mind when they visit, just as long as they don't stay.
Some family members that are in the medical field can be royal PITAs. I once took care of a pt whose son was a Dr. He tried to give me orders on his mothers case when he was not a treating Doc.
Some family members can be very helpful medical or not. I have had a few that think with their medical experience it entitles them to run things.

[patwil73]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

From the other side - I have been visiting my ex-wife who is currently hospitalized in ICU. I currently work as a Clinical Administrative Resource (basically night supervisor, but with obligations on teaching clinical skills and running codes and MRT's). I find that when I visit I often get the "deer in a headlight's look". I try not to be too questioning, but I do want basic information (I have a medical release of info).

So I ask questions about weaning from the vent and how long she tolerated, whether her use of pain meds and sedatives have increased, what her recent labs have been and whether there has been any change in the plan of care. I try not to be too judgemental but when every question I have is met with "let me look that up" I start to worry a bit about the care she is receiving. (Since I assume the questions I am asking any ICU nurse should be able to answer)

So I wonder is since they know what I do are they being extra careful to have the correct information so I don't jump down their throats (not that I have, but I have had medical families of pt's before that have).

I also have not had any question me about what I do or where I work or whatever beyond "so, you are a nurse huh?".

Just another viewpoint,

Pat

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

Have to agree that it varies from person to person, but overall I'd say nurse family members are helpful, and I understand the five-million questions (I buried both my parents, and was DPOA/Health Care Surrogate for both, so I know what it's like from BOTH sides!)

At the risk of being flamed, the WORST are family members who once took a CNA class, or dropped out of nursing school second semester, or have watched WAY too much "ER" and are sure that you aren't doing "that" the way Dr. Carter did last week!! A little knowledge (and an attitude) is a dangerous thing!!

[oncnursemsn]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

I'm very interested in this thread- my father will undergo removal of a 3cm tumor from his rt lung on May 27 at a big hospital in Boston. I work at another Boston hospical and I teach nursing full time. Sigh. I don't want to be a PITA, my non-nurse sister fills those shoes just fine. She's aggressive, critical and acts like she's our dad's "mother." Manners and common sense she long checked at the door, and there's no way she's not going to tell the entire nursing staff that I'm the nurse.
My own experience has been that visitors that are nurses have made my job much easier, as well as patients that were nurses. For the most part, we know the ropes, and are usually sensitive to the nurse providing care.
I have to quickly comment on a nurse patient we had who (staff thought) was certifiably crazy/addicted. She was a traveler from Seattle with MRSA cellulitis on her leg. She was 28, and admitted on IV antis and pain meds. Her med reconcilliation included: ativan, trazadone, Percs and a few other psych meds I can't remember. Oh, the best is that she was a traveler at OUR hospital before going out with this infection.
On the call bell, demanding dressing to be changed at the change of shift. We were scratching our heads- constantly calling out for pain/anxiety meds. I would be *embarrassed* to be in her shoes. Thankfully we transferred her to another floor as we needed the bed for our onc pt. Ick.

[aeauooo]

Re: When nurses visit loved ones who are hospitalized...

Originally Posted by GrumpyRN63

A different spin is when your patient is the nurse...

A couple of years ago I visited my mom, who is a retired nurse, after she had had surgery.

When she was brought a clear liquid tray with green Jello (how cliche!) she said, "Get that out of here!" She had called my dad and told him to bring her a Whopper with fries. I was standing behind my mom when the young (unfortunate) nurse who had been assigned my mom told her that she couldn't eat that. I looked at her and shook my head - "Don't even try!"

I ate the green Jello.