To KTWLPN: If you want to compare apples and oranges, well, okay...
In the instance YOU quoted me speaking, and
in it's context, we were talking on that thread about a nurse who was abusing patients and co-workers.....http://allnurses.com/forums/f8/cowor...y-45938-6.html
This thread was ALSO an old one...2003? I believe....and in the context of what was written about this person who called her patients babies who made "messes" when they were not attended to in need of bathrooming, etc, her behaviour towards her co-workers and patients seemed incorrigible. Now, if you want to compare what I said about this person from a thread four years ago, who mistreated and abused her patients to a situation
on this forum, as being the same thing, then I am amazed. I don't believe a person, such as described in that thread should EVER be around vulnerable patients, and I stand by that. If you want to describe what I said as being the same as three distinct statements made to a brand new nurse as personal attack, by people who currently still post on this forum as the same thing, then I can only conclude that you fail to see the obvious difference....
IN the first instance, the thread you quoted me from, the elder abuser was asking for a personal reference from the OP.....and while my sarcasm may have not been the kindest toward her, I don't see where what I said could any way be compared to calling a fellow nurse a troll, (no matter what your definition....and no, she wasn't trolling as per the internet definition...she quit responding because she was pretty devastated by what people were saying...and who wouldn't be??) and calling her a "brain anomaly"....and stating her patients must be fearful of her.....
I don't think any of what you quoted is a fair comparison at all...
Now...if I had called that fired abusive nurse a troll, or a brain damaged person...???? possibly you might have a stronger stance...but that's not the situation....and I would appreciate it if you would have given background to my statement if you are going to lift it from another thread within the context of it's writing.
As for "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" and "making mountains out of molehills"....
The AACN apparently doesn't think this kind of thinking, attitude, speech, or action against one another is a mole hill. They, in fact, are addressing the very long last needed discussion and resolution of nurses who engage this way. In my opinion, it's long overdue, and to poo-poo incidents like this as just insignificant only proves my point; that being that often we do look the other way when a feeding frenzy occurs.....in some ways, it is a learned behaviour from days on the playground when someone was bullying another, an many stood by and did nothing....this doesn't excuse it....and should never take the place of doing something about it when it is noticed or seen....
What bothers me is that those who did engage in this situation at that time, did not stop themselves, or one another, nor did the actual offenders apologize to the new nurse....instead, it was the MODERATOR who had to reign them in....that is troubling to me....because those same people still post as if it never happened, and as if they have no ownership of the harm they perpetuated.
As seasoned nurses, we need to put a stop to this behaviour before it one day comes back on us!
While I do concede that for the most part, here, there seems to be a pretty good comraderie, there are times when I do/have seen some pretty insulting words between people....
I also understand that moderators try their best to give people a little slack, and understand that many of us are in need of a place to 'unload' a little....but I think the line we shouldn't ever cross is to dump that load on a new nurse....despite what she may or may not be perceived as....
While I stated before that as seasoned nurses, or nurses who have had alot of experience in a given field, it is often frustrating for us to listen, watch, or tolerate a new nurse's viewpoints if they don't "jive" with our own....we become sometimes outright angry that they "don't do things the way we see them, do them, or experience them"....In essence, we like controlling the situation, as it were....and
that's on us! I don't think we are EVER going to convince new nurses that we are worth a hoot, if we abuse them along the way! It's analagous to hitting someone over the head with a violin in order to prove to them that music is beautiful!
If a new nurse comes to you and says something, what's the harm in letting him/her state what they have to say, and then either leave your own ego out of it, OR state what you have to say without dragging personal attack into it? Isn't that the definition of good conversation?
Simple minds talk about others behind their backs.....great minds discuss ideas....
Thank you NURSEMIKE for the face licking....it helps from time to time to have that as a back up when I am wearing newly worn egg....ahem...
I appreciate, for the most part, the dialogue and discussions here....I don't like seeing people tear at one another, however....and when it happens, and no one says, "hey, wait a min. here", I don't mind sayin'
something....
I also don't like words that were used amongst those that posted minimized and catagorized into:
"well she deserved what she got, because she was rude, or she was calling the other nurses lazy".
If you take that step, then it means that you allow certain people to be bullied, and certain people to continue bullying....there isn't a middle ground here....
Namecalling is out...
Calling a person's professional stance into question, or making statements like, "your patients must be fearful" is out....
If you don't understand for sure what the person is saying, rather than assume wrongly, or judge wrongly, why not just say, "could you please expand on what you are saying?"
Nine times out of ten, you will find that the communication was slightly awry, and has nothing to do with them being a troll, as was the perception, nor does it have anything to do with their personhood...
I believe we should do our best to approach each other with respect and compassion, no matter how wrong we may think the other person is.
Here is some helpful reading on the subject from the AACN Journal....
thanks alot for helping me address something that I have felt for a long time....I know some of you have felt this as well...
http://ccn.aacnjournals.org/cgi/content/full/27/3/10
Thank you to those who enlightened me here.
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