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by kirkwoodnurse

As a 26 year veteran, I am experiencing something new in my career...a co-worker who had (and continues to have ) a sexual affair with the father (married to the mother) of a set of twins in my NICU. This relationship was ongoing throughout the babies hospital course and even though my NM now knows about it, she says "the couple was having marraige difficulties anyway" and "what do you want me to do, punish her forever !" Our very large, hotsy totsy hospital says there is nothing they can do for this poor Mother who is now raising 2 premie boys. My NM thought the rest of her staff was "OK" with the affair because she has not heard anyone talking about it !! Well, HER staff is NOT OK with it ! WE are repulsed, furious,embarassed and want this RN dismissed ! The NM says the Board of Nursing is involved but I do not believe her. Any superior suggestions ?????:

[traumaRUs]

Re: Unethical behavior

Gosh - I'm sorry this has caused such upheaval in your unit. However, I don't think it's right, but I also don't think there is any reason to fire this nurse. Is her work ethic suffering? I would otherwise ignore it - its not my concern.

[Spidey's mom]

Re: Unethical behavior

Isn't there some professional prohibition about becoming involved with patients or their families?

This is appalliing to me.

steph

[traumaRUs]

Re: Unethical behavior

While not exactly ethical - I doubt there is a violation of the laws or policy and procedures of the hospital. I've been aware of affaris between families, patients, staff, etc.. I do feel sincere sympathy for this woman that now has to raise her preemies by herself. However, I guess I just don't think its my business IF (big if), this nurse's on the job behavior isn't affected.

[StudentSpouse]

Re: Unethical behavior

What kind of sleazebag has an affair whith the nurse of his two premie babies…

"the couple was having marraige difficulties anyway"
That makes my blood boil...

You would think the hospital would have rules against becoming involved with patience family members…

[Spidey's mom]

Re: Unethical behavior

Originally Posted by traumaRUs

While not exactly ethical - I doubt there is a violation of the laws or policy and procedures of the hospital. I've been aware of affaris between families, patients, staff, etc.. I do feel sincere sympathy for this woman that now has to raise her preemies by herself. However, I guess I just don't think its my business IF (big if), this nurse's on the job behavior isn't affected.

But while the babies were admitted? Did this person take care of the babies?

Too sad.

steph

[Tweety]

Re: Unethical behavior

Personally, I think what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms is not necessarily the employers business.

The gossip and rumor mill (and I'm sure there are some half-truths and rumors out there).

Do I think both parties are sleezebag scum? Yes I do.

[BsnRnShiftSuper]

Re: Unethical behavior

AT THE VERY LEAST I THINK IS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED. WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE RULES THAT ADDRESS THIS BY YOUR FACILITY, THE POTENTIAL FOR PROBLEMS INTERNALLY IS ENORMOUS. HOWEVER, I ALSO THINK THAT A FACILITY SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY SAY IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. IF THE AFFAIR HAD STARTED AFTER THE BABIES DISCHARGE, THAT WOULD BE ONE THING. BUT THE FACT IT WAS GOING ON DURING THE INPATIENT PERIOD IS A DIFFERENT STORY. THAT ALMOST MAKES IT NOT SO MUCH OF A PERSONAL LIFE. DURING THE TIME WHEN THE BABIES WERE IN THE HOSPITAL, WAS IT COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT AN AFFAIR WAS GOING ON? DID IF AFFECT HER CAPABILITIES TO PROVIDE CARE? MOST IMPORTANTLY, WAS THERE TENSION IN THE UNIT FOR THE FAMILY AND OTHER STAFF? IF SO, THAT DEFINATELY MAKES IT LESS THAT JUST HER PERSONAL LIFE.

[hogan4736]

Re: Unethical behavior

Originally Posted by kirkwoodnurse

The NM says the Board of Nursing is involved but I do not believe her. Any superior suggestions ?????:

I would hope the BON isn't involved...And if someone did call the BON, that person should mind his/her own business and be spoken to about confusing personal business w/ nursing business...

Yes he is a scumbag, and the nurse is just as bad, but is has nothing to do w/ her nursing duties; UNLESS her personal business is causing her work to suffer, then it's ONLY an issue for the employer...

I have a friend who was on the AZ BON...The number 1 complaint they received were EMPLOYER issues, NOT nursing care issues...

[TiffyRN]

Re: Unethical behavior

Are the adults involved in the affair scuzbags? Oh yea!

I think though that it unless your hospital forbids personal relationships between employees and relatives of patients (the dad was not a patient was he?) then there is not much to be done as far as her employment.

As bad as it is I hear of NICU dads flirting with the employees and asking them out (I've personally never heard of it ever going any further).

It's a disgusting situation with a high sympathy factor for the mom. I'm not sure it's actionable though.