[Ayeloflo]

Hello good people,
I recently lost a good friend (former roommate) to suicide. I knew it was coming based on what I had leard from mental health nursing at school. But who knew what day and time that would be? The hardest thing was that I tried to help this by talking with him a lot. His girlfriend suspected his depression and encouraged him to get professional help but he refused. I haven't really dealth with the grieving part yet, after his girlfriend emailed me last week that he had killed himself.

Okay, now I have become more alert when people all of a sudden want to tell me about their very personal issues ("secrets"). Well, maybe they find me easy to talk to. I just don't know.

Only last night, a new friend (a neighbor who has gradually become friendly with me) told me a lot of his "big" problems in life. He expressed his interest in nursing to me. But last night as I was chatting with him, I picked up on the fact that he was trying to learn about medications, especially overdose and all that. Now I'm very very worried. Why would he be interested in medication overdose after telling me that he didn't care about life anymore and wouldn't care to put his only son, two-year old, for adoption?

I'm very worried, scared and confused because you just don't how much more a person is willing or unwilling to take before they take their own life.
He wants to talk to me about many other things he is going through tonight; his personal difficulties like divorce, etc. Please help me. I hope something bad does not happen to him before it's too late. Please, good people.

[RN1989]

Look for your local suicide hotline number. Most places have one. You can be a friend but you are not qualified to give professional help. I know what I would do in your situation but I am not you. You can tell him that you care concerned he is thinking about suicide and give him all the info for the local hotline and support groups. Whether he decides to do something with the information is up to him. Unless someone is in the actual act of committing suicide police and EMS are not going to come run to the rescue. Offer him the information and talk to the hotline yourself to get your head straight. You sound terrified and cannot possible help this person if you are not thinking clearly.

[Tweety]

Point blank ask him if he's suicidal or depressed.

Agree with the above.

[pedicurn]

i agree with the previous poster.... it is inappropriate for you to be giving advice.
However - pls have him see a mental health provider ASAP ( make the appointment for him TODAY). You know this person, therefore probably have an idea re what would work best for him....what avenue would he be most receptive to? You may need to go along with him.
Best wishes and hope he receives the care he needs soon

[NRSKarenRN]

Please see resources in this thread to assist you: Suicide + Mental Health Resources

especially:
Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.

Locate a crisis center close to you.


Let him know you care and offer to call hotline or take to crisis center if you feel appropriate. Wishing better days ahead for you both.

[snappy01]

I agree with all previous posts and thank you for your friendship to this person. It sounds like you really care about him and very frightened for his well-being. I URGE you to take care of yourself while offering him the community resource information. I do not take suicide threats lightly however, when I worked in mental health it was a somewhat common occurence for some people to use suicide as a manipulation tool and I watched many well meaning individuals (staff, family, friends etc.) spin their wheels time and time again. PLEASE do not misunderstand, I am not making light of anyone's depression or suicidal thoughts I just hope you give the same amount of time and attention to YOU as you are to your neighbor! You have lots to deal with with the passing of your friend. Take time for you!

[ERNurse03]

Originally Posted by RN1989

Unless someone is in the actual act of committing suicide police and EMS are not going to come run to the rescue.

I don't agree with this statement...at least not in this area. I live in southern Ohio, and EMS will respond when called for anything. If you have someone who is suicidal they are deemed a threat to themselves the same way a homicidal person is a threat to others. If the person tells the EMT that he/she is suicidal they must go in for evaluation even if they have to be taken by force. If they do not say that to the EMT then the EMT's cannot "kidnap" them and they have a right to refuse to go. From my many years in the ER, all we need is the chief complaint of "suicidal ideation" and we have 1:1 observation and even restrain the patient if necessary to prevent them from leaving without a thorough psychiatric evaluation. After the evaluation if they are still deemed a threat to themselves they can be admitted under "emergency admission" or "pink slip" or "commitment" whatever they call it where you live. They will then be placed on an Acute Psychiatric inpatient ward...usually a minimum of 72 hr hold...which are locked wards... until they are stabalized on antidepressants or by psychotherapy.
If someone tells you they are suicidal....call EMS immediately! They will respond! Suicidal Ideations is an acute mental illness and requires immediate attention. Acutely suicidal people are not thinking clearly and are not capable of making rational decisions.

[woknblues]

Originally Posted by ERNurse03

I don't agree with this statement...at least not in this area. I live in southern Ohio, and EMS will respond when called for anything. If you have someone who is suicidal they are deemed a threat to themselves the same way a homicidal person is a threat to others. If the person tells the EMT that he/she is suicidal they must go in for evaluation even if they have to be taken by force. If they do not say that to the EMT then the EMT's cannot "kidnap" them and they have a right to refuse to go. From my many years in the ER, all we need is the chief complaint of "suicidal ideation" and we have 1:1 observation and even restrain the patient if necessary to prevent them from leaving without a thorough psychiatric evaluation. After the evaluation if they are still deemed a threat to themselves they can be admitted under "emergency admission" or "pink slip" or "commitment" whatever they call it where you live. They will then be placed on an Acute Psychiatric inpatient ward...usually a minimum of 72 hr hold...which are locked wards... until they are stabalized on antidepressants or by psychotherapy.
If someone tells you they are suicidal....call EMS immediately! They will respond! Suicidal Ideations is an acute mental illness and requires immediate attention. Acutely suicidal people are not thinking clearly and are not capable of making rational decisions.

agreed with above. had a friend who took his life after exhibiting what I know now to be classical signs. if only we would have intervened (I don't blame myself or "us all", but the knowledge of it would have likely saved his life). suicidal people are only seeing the worst aspects of their lives, like tunnel vision, and seem to be oblivious to the support systems available to them. they need prompt intervention and therapies.

[NurseCherlove]

Originally Posted by Tweety

Point blank ask him if he's suicidal or depressed.

Agree with the above.

Exactly.

[luvmy3kids]

Originally Posted by Tweety

Point blank ask him if he's suicidal or depressed.

Agree with the above.

While I understand the point of asking this question.... it's very possible that they will likely lie and say everything is fine, right? Then what??

Not that you can just assume that they are suicidal without asking, but I don't know how often people admit that they are, or are even aware of their actual intentions and thoughts/feelings.

I don't know what you should do exactly, but I wish you good luck and I hope you can help this friend in which ever way he needs it. Take care.

Jennifer