[antidote]

I just got off my shift a while ago and I must say that I am just so stressed and depressed after only having to deal with one patient today. I just felt so 'useless' and just... overwhelmed that it's still affecting me! I understand that I'll have times like this all of the time (and have) but this is just getting to me and I don't know why.

As you guys know, I work in an ICU. We had a fourteen [14] year old male pt brought up who was involved in an auto accident. Was brought in c/o chest pain and a bunch of bruises, cuts and abrasions.

In any case, he was transported up to my floor as we awaited CT results just for observation. He was rapidly doing well (good state of mind, talking, normal vitals, etc.). We had him on an IV with just saline to prevent dehydration, and he was pretty sore so he had some pain meds as well.

About 2 hours into him being on the floor, he coded while his best friend (another ~14 year old male) and his mother was in the room. Now... this is what really got to me was his best friend (you could tell these two guys have been through a lot just by the way they talked around each other and just acted) had to watch his best friend die.

Me, 2 other RN's and an MD were there right away. The MD had a little trouble intubating but finally did on a second attempt. Unfortunately, after working on him for ~15 minutes the patient was declared dead.

For some reason his best friend crying and his mother screaming outside of the room just has made me feel so; blah! I couldn't imagine being 14 years old and watching my best friend die in an ICU.

In any case, just thought I'd share that with you and let you know I feel like crap for some reason. HEHE!

Thanks for reading.

[TigerGalLE]

Wow what a heart breaking story! If I were in your shoes I would feel terrible as well. Sometimes it is just impossible to leave work at work. I work with chronically ill patients and death is sometimes expected.. I still get upset sometimes when I lose a patient. Death is difficult to deal with. You aren't superman. You seem like a compasionate nurse. I'm sorry to hear that the boy didn't make it. I'll pray for his family and friends.

[GeminiTwinRN]

Oh gosh! What a horrible experience for you and the pt and family/friend!

I'm so sorry this tragedy happened. It's bad enough when it's an 80 something year old LOL, but a teenager is extremely hard to deal with.

Any thoughts on what happened to him? He seems to have went down VERY fast!!

[Daytonite]

It's because of things like this that I don't like working with patients of crimes and trauma. I have trouble handling my own emotions over it. But for our ability to create automobiles and irresponsible people getting behind the wheels, this would never have happened. You can only hope that somewhere in the universe, this death served some purpose. At least, that's how I would like to think of it.

[Lainee]

Originally Posted by Daytonite

It's because of things like this that I don't like working with patients of crimes and trauma. I have trouble handling my own emotions over it.

Exactly how I feel.

[Lainee]

Originally Posted by antidote

I just got off my shift a while ago and I must say that I am just so stressed and depressed after only having to deal with one patient today. I just felt so 'useless' and just... overwhelmed that it's still affecting me! I understand that I'll have times like this all of the time (and have) but this is just getting to me and I don't know why.

As you guys know, I work in an ICU. We had a fourteen [14] year old male pt brought up who was involved in an auto accident. Was brought in c/o chest pain and a bunch of bruises, cuts and abrasions.

In any case, he was transported up to my floor as we awaited CT results just for observation. He was rapidly doing well (good state of mind, talking, normal vitals, etc.). We had him on an IV with just saline to prevent dehydration, and he was pretty sore so he had some pain meds as well.

About 2 hours into him being on the floor, he coded while his best friend (another ~14 year old male) and his mother was in the room. Now... this is what really got to me was his best friend (you could tell these two guys have been through a lot just by the way they talked around each other and just acted) had to watch his best friend die.

Me, 2 other RN's and an MD were there right away. The MD had a little trouble intubating but finally did on a second attempt. Unfortunately, after working on him for ~15 minutes the patient was declared dead.

For some reason his best friend crying and his mother screaming outside of the room just has made me feel so; blah! I couldn't imagine being 14 years old and watching my best friend die in an ICU.

In any case, just thought I'd share that with you and let you know I feel like crap for some reason. HEHE!

Thanks for reading.

You wouldn't be human if it didn't have an effect on you. Seek counseling if you need it.

[busy-bee]

I am so sorry.....as a former EMT-A, I know where you're coming from. Terrible, Terrible. I will pray for you for all of you.

[deeDawntee]

First of all, thank you for the work you are doing.

I believe that there are no accidents in life and everything happens for a reason...unfortunately as one human being in the middle of our own lives we cannot know what those reasons are. Perhaps when we have reached the end of our own lives we will have the opportunity to see the why of it all....I don't know....but that is what I believe.

Perhaps, that 14 year old will take what he saw, and someday make a huge difference in the medical field. Or he will become a caring and compassionate teacher or therapist. Let's hope he takes that experience and with the support of his family, is able to turn it into something positive. Human beings are incredibly resilient.

As nurses, it is our jobs to stop death if we can, but I believe it cannot be done if it is that person's time to go. I hope you can let go of the tragedy of the experience and perhaps come up with some explanation for yourself that makes sense. I love Gary Zukav's "Seat of the Soul" it is not a religious book in any way, but gives a perspective on life and why we are here that has really helped me.

Take care,
Hope this helped

[gonzo1]

There's always a couple that haunt you. Hope you have someone you can talk to about this. Remember God put you where you are for a reason.

[teeituptom]

Destress yourself by whatever works best for you