[Crux1024]

Lots of things:

1) Various things up anus:Taper candles, FDS Cans, Shampoo Bottles, Snow globes, the ever popular cucumber.
2)Drunk woman the other day had stabbed her drunk BF, with scissors, after she had cut his long hair and then proceeded to stab herself so that she wouldnt get in trouble for stabbing him.
3)Lady took Ambien at the bar, not to mention a couple shots, tried to drive home and was surprised to find herself in a tree.

People can be so bizarre sometimes!!

[ERRNTraveler]

Had a guy come into the ER because his "voices" told hm to insert a firecracker into his penis- and light it. He had basically filleted his penis! So then, while we're waiting for urology to take him to the OR to try to fix it, he says he has to pee, so I hold a urinal underneath what's left of his penis (wouldn't even know where to start with putting in a foley on this...) & he starts screaming at me that it hurts too much- well no kidding!

[rianne1117]

E.R. Male, 37: electrocution. He got electrocuted after stealing live electrical wires to sell it for its copper contents

O.R. Female, 18: ectopic pregnancy. Only claimed of “mild” abdominal pain for several days; mother kept insisting her daughter said she was still a virgin.

[blueheaven]

Was working on stepdown unit when my 80 year old male patient comes walking out to the nurses station butt naked with a towel wrapped around his penis and blood dripping all the way back to his room. He looks at me mournfully an says "I think I broke it!!!!!!!!" His bathroom looked like a slaughter house and his foley was laying in the floor!!! Oh yes, he did this during visiting hours!!!

[MikeyJ]

Originally Posted by ERRNTraveler

Had a guy come into the ER because his "voices" told hm to insert a firecracker into his penis- and light it. He had basically filleted his penis! So then, while we're waiting for urology to take him to the OR to try to fix it, he says he has to pee, so I hold a urinal underneath what's left of his penis (wouldn't even know where to start with putting in a foley on this...) & he starts screaming at me that it hurts too much- well no kidding!

Oh my dear lordy!! Haha... I wonder where people get these ideas!

[teeituptom]

I gave up paying attention to stupid things people do. Nothing and I mean nothing surprises me anymore

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by teeituptom

I gave up paying attention to stupid things people do. Nothing and I mean nothing surprises me anymore

I can relate. A new grad came up to me and said so and so just wheeled into the bathroom with a man...I know they're doing drugs or having sex in there...seen that a 100 times....yawn....next problem?

[danissa]

Originally Posted by EarthChild1130

The creepiest one involved a guy who was hearing voices quoting the Bible to him...kept saying 'If thine own eye offends thee, then pluck it out'...so he did, right in our seclusion room...he kept repeating the phrase so he was on 1:1 while in seclusion, and the tech and I saw him reach up and we went for him, but he pulled it right out before we could get to him...guy never made a sound...

EEURGHHHHHHHHH! THAT IS the GROSSEST! OMG gonna be sick now! eeurgh!

[caroladybelle]

Originally Posted by Ruby Vee

DH worked in the Cath Lab a few years ago. He had a frequent flier that came in every couple of months with an MI after snorting cocaine. Each and every time, he'd swear that he'd learned his lesson and this was the LAST time he'd use cocaine. I wonder if he's still doing it!

And then there was the guy who came in after his wife caught him with a girlfriend. She shot him in the ass while he was on top of the other woman. You could argue that this was a self-inflicted injury since it was the second time she'd shot him after finding him in flagrente! She stabbed him once, too! The guy never learned!

I had a "repeat MI - cocaine abuser" this week.

And are you sure that you haven't worked with me? A guy comes in shot in the butt by his wife, after being caught fooling around. Gets restraining order, and goes home with GF. Nine monthes later, admitted for having had his knee shot out - by GF. Gets restraining order against GF and goes home with wife. Gets re-admitted w/stroke at age 47 (noncompliant/smoker/drinker/diabetic - the trifecta) - recovers well, leaves wife, goes home with girlfriend. Gets readmitted a few monthes later after being hit with car by another GF. First GF comes up to hospital drunk, gets evicted from hospital after abusing staff - is warned that if she drives off property, will have cops siced on her for drunk driving. She replies %^&* you!, drives anyway. Cops bust her and toss her in jail.

So what does patient do - try to get leave from the hospital to bail her out, while on IV and 2 days postop. After leave refused, he sneaks out on a "smoke" break.

Sometimes there is just a special kind of stupid out there

[pebbles]

I call him "coat-hanger man".

He had genuine Münchhausen syndrome, the RCMP had a file on him because he traveled to different hospitals around Canada under various assumed names - trying to GET surgery.

He un-bent wire coat-hangers, and shoved them up his penis, down his throat and into his colostomy. All in an attempt to get doctors to operate on him.
His throat was fine. His bladder had a small puncture that would heal on its own. And they admitted him to watch for bowel complications.

He used to come to the nursing desk when the doctors gathered for rounds, just to YELL at them to operate on him. We had to get the lawyers to draft a contract that if he came within 10 feet of the desk, he would be discharged and escorted off the property by security.

It was not fun while he was on the unit, but it's funny now....