[crazyearrings]

patient calling for someone that you know has passes on

The day before my mom died in 1992, she was calling out for her daddy who died in 1965.

as long as their is family in the room they don't go...but send them out for lunch or a good nights sleep and yep..there they go. It is like they are holding out till they aren't in the room!

My mom did that, too. My aunt spent the night with her in the hospital, but had to leave at 6:00 a.m. to take my uncle to work. At 6:15, we got a phone call from the doctor to come to the hospital immediately. I told my dad that Mom was gone but he didn't want to tell us over the phone. Sure enough, that is what happened. Mom knew Aunt Sherry would freak out if Mom died while she was there, so she waited for her to leave.

[boulergirl]

We had a resident whose family put her on hospice. That whole week, the staff kept going in her room and found her on the floor, praying. One night, 11-7 staff found her there, helped her up, and asked her if she wanted anything before she went to bed. She said no, she just wanted to go to bed because she was tired. She NEVER did this normally--always wanted a soda or water or something else first. The next morning, she was on her knees beside the bed, dead as a doornail.

[Sis123]

I can tell you how being near death felt (from my perspective). I was young (27 or 28) and had appendicitis and peritonitis(post op diagnosis). In the ER my diagnosis was not clear at all, and because my pain was extreme and unrelenting, I was admitted to a room. The surgeon came to see me a couple hours after being admitted, and examined me. I had been suffering intense pain for about 16 hours at this point and almost didn't care if I lived or died at this point, but the strange thing is that I felt like my body kept getting heavier and heavier, really sinking into the mattress, and I felt more and more separate from my body, as if my "spirit" was slowly "peeling away".

The surgeon told me that he wasn't sure what they were going to do, since they really couldn't tell what was going on with me, and I told him that if he didn't operate and "fix it" that I would surely die. I just "knew" it, and it was a very good thing that they decided that was what they needed to do. It saved my life.

[TiffyRN]

I'll have to be the contrarian here and disagree. I was told as a new grad how "a patient knows!!!!". I just haven't seen it. After ten years of working with your general med/surg/tele patients I think I saw one lady that had that "impending feeling of doom" and then actually died (of a massive pulmonary embolism). I've had literally dozens of people declare to me they were going to die. Scared me bad for the first couple of years, then I just got immune to it and would try to comfort them and explain their current condition. Sometimes I would pass it along in report because I felt obligated by this theory that "patients know!!!". It would scare the on-coming nurse but as far as I know, just that one lady that I took care of died after such a declaration.

I think people just tend to remember that a patient that died had made such as declaration. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I didn't take care of the right patient population.

Now as far as a nurse's impending feeling of doom about a particular patient when nothing is obvious, that's a whole 'nuther ball of wax.

[Tweety]

Good avice.

[CHATSDALE]

i had a resident who kept calling for Maggie to come in....when he was lucid he would talk and carry on an ordinary conversation and tell you his needs...very dignified old gentlemen
but sometimes he would sink into a coma like state for hours at a time...but one time toward the end he became so insistant about seeing maggie that i called his nok a neice and asked her who maggie was...she didn't have a clue...later she called me back and told me that she had found out from an elderly relative that Maggie was his little sister who had drowned when she was 8.....was she there waiting for him...was his mind taking him back to a happier time...did he feel quilt all these years because he had not been able to save her...many questions no answers

[NurseFirst]

Originally Posted by CHATSDALE

i had a resident who kept calling for Maggie to come in....when he was lucid he would talk and carry on an ordinary conversation and tell you his needs...very dignified old gentlemen
but sometimes he would sink into a coma like state for hours at a time...but one time toward the end he became so insistant about seeing maggie that i called his nok a neice and asked her who maggie was...she didn't have a clue...later she called me back and told me that she had found out from an elderly relative that Maggie was his little sister who had drowned when she was 8.....was she there waiting for him...was his mind taking him back to a happier time...did he feel quilt all these years because he had not been able to save her...many questions no answers

That it is not at all uncommon for a person near death to see or hear relatives who have already passed on.

NurseFirst

[ADS RN]

I had a terminal private duty pt. He would start to go then the family would call everyone in to say goodbye and by the time the supervisor would get there he'd be "ok". One night when I worked a double he said "Come on Connie ,lets go." I asked him where we were going, he said "to the other side." Couldn't seem to help him over after I told him to go ahead and wait for me there, so I woke up his pastor in the chair sleeping. He didn't have much more luck. On the way home I'd jerk awake and think , he knew something!What he was hanging on for was his dtr was pregnant with the 1st grandchild and toxcemic,I think he wanted to make sure that they were ok. She couldn't attend the funneral because she had just given birth.

2 years ago I had a near death experience according to ER and my DR. I had a 1:1,000,000 side effect of clindamycin. Pancytopenia- septic, raging UTI and a WBC od 2. They said they'd never seen such low values across the board. ER said 1/2 hr longer and I wouldn't have been there. I never felt any impending doom and was aware all of the time in ICU etc. My chemistry changed because I would stop a watch even with new batteries within a day. I got a lapel watch and put it in my blouse pocket for a seminar and it was offf 2 hrs. My DR. said with a near death experience that your core energy changes and asked if I could move things with my eyes. Yeah right I think you have to believe that you can do it before it would work. Aside from that with my luck the wrong things would be moving and no doubt out of control!! I do have to admit I would definately prefer to get my old labs back. Chol, Lipids, Blood sugar have all decided to give me a run for my oney, I've almost got them on the high side with meds & diet.

[lauralew]

Originally Posted by VizslaMom

Last night, one of our patients told a nurse (early on in the shift), "I'm crapping out on you tonight.".
Okay - PuhLease don't say that in an ICU!!
Gives me the heebee-geebees when a pt. says something like that to me.
He coded and passed away between 0430 and 0500 this morning.

Moral of the story: ALWAYS listen to your patients.

Why is it that these patients usually know when "IT" is going to happen?

Oh man! That happened twice in a CV-ICU in which I used to work--the patients suddenly asked for their children to be called urgently in the middle of the night. One had been doing really well. They both coded and died as soon as the grown kids got there. Those incidents have guided my practice ever since--believe the patients. That is what we are supposed to do anyway, and incidents like yours and mine bring that home!

[vickster]

I work in palliative care, dying is still part of living...an amazing part.

I work in LTC and we had a lady who was 108 and in her final days, (I kept saying "I'll believe it when I see it...") but she did finally take a turn. This lady hadn't spoken a word or opened her eyes for years. At the moment she died, she had a HUGE smile on her face, opened her eyes with tears rolling down her face. The aide that was with me nearly fainted, but I felt blessed to witness something so ethereal.