[kcalohagirl]

Not really a vent as much as a short list of observations, and what my inner editor kept me from saying aloud. . . . .

"I just don't understand why my chest is sore. . . . ." From a patient who is one day s/p CABG x 6. Well, let's think about this for a second. . . .

"There's water dripping in my room, and I can't sleep." No, I'm sorry, it's called rain, it's not dripping in the room, it's hitting the window, and I'm afraid that I don't have a direct line to the weather gods to turn it off for you. And no, I won't call the doctor at 4 am to get you a sleeping pill.

"I transferred to this floor from the ICU, and in the first hour and a half I was here, the nurse was only in to see me three times!" Your nurse made it in to see you three times in an hour and a half? And still saw her other 3 patients? Wow!

"I don't care if I am on an insulin drip, you can't take my blood sugar every two hours! I won't get any sleep! You keep waking me up!" Oh really? Sorry bout that. Take it up with the doc. We nurses aren't huge fans of the new protocol that has us running insulin drips for the first 48 hours after surgery either. When you come to the floor after your first 24 hours post op and we have you and 3 other insulin drips and a couple dopamine drips and an amio drip, it's not a lot of fun for us either. Now stick out your finger and let me poke it.

Time for 3 days off. . . . Have a happy holiday weekend, everyone!!!!!

(In reality, I am a lot more tactful. . . . . . . .)

[Sabby_NC]

Ahhhhh we need to have a sense of humor don't we? Gotta laugh at some comments that come flooding our way.. Enjy your three days off sounds like you earned them. Yayyyyyyyyy

[bethem]

This one bugged, although it's not that annoying written down:
Pt: "I've been sitting out of bed for three hours!"
Me: "Yes, much better for you than lying around in bed for all that time, isn't it?"
Me thinking: Yeah, and? There's nothing wrong with you, you're just waiting for nursing home placement d/t increasing confusion - and a lack of motivation to actually DO anything for yourself...

Pt: "Nuuuuuuurrrrrse! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRSSSSSE!"
My thoughts: No, no one here by that name...

[gentlegiver]

pt: I gotta go to bathroom
me: you wee just in the bathroom 5 mins ago
pt: I gotta go to bathroom (repeated constantly all day)
me thinking: maybe we should put you there and let you sit for an hour

aren't behaviors fun!

[TazziRN]

Pt being triaged in the ER: "I don't know the names of my medications, call my doctor, he knows what I'm on."
(At 0300....yeah.......I'm gonna wake to doc up and say "Mr. Patootie is here with a very sore throat and says that you know all of his meds." uh-huh......)

[prmenrs]

Thank you! sooo much!! You just reminded me WHY I like working w/babies so much better than grown-ups! (not that I ever need much reminding.... )

[feebebe23]

I wish I had a penny for every time I had this conversation...

patient shows up 8cm with 4th baby.....

pt: I want my EPIDURAL....

RN: I know it hurts...we have to get an IV in and draw labs first...

pt: NO NO NO!!! I want it now!

RN: Your doing great....keep breathing....we will try to get an epidural in if we can....

pt: TRY? TRY? what the hell does that mean....

RN: billions and billions of women have had babies without epidurals...your fine....your baby is fine....stay calm....

precip delivery by nurse......

pt: wow....I did it....I can't believe I had a baby without an epidural....I didn't think I could do that....

RN: next time try getting to the hospital sooner....