[UKRNinUSA]

I'm a first born. Maternal grandfather was an alcoholic. My dad is not an alcoholic as my mother took her own advice and didn't marry "a man who drinks". I am a recovered (hopefully) codependent (apparently a factor in the predisposition to playing a caregiver role).

[jms79]

Im the baby of the family only female. First born (male) is a doctor. No alcohol abuse in the family

[Mission]

I'm the youngest of three. My oldest brother died before I was born so my parents were very overprotective and coddling of my other brother and I. We definately were never caretakers, in fact, my mom still does my laundry. I have some caretaker tendencies that I believe are cultural (I'm Latina), but not the result of birth order/family dysfunction. There is some dysfunction/alcholoism in my extended family but most of my relatives are either computer programmers or detectives.

[marye302]

yep, fisrt born, dad is a workaholic... no alcohol

[FLAgal14]

I'm the baby of the family, I have 2 sisters and a brother, but I am the only one from my father (so technically I'm his first born I guess),and my parents don't drink, but a few of my relatives have drinking problems. I do come a pretty dysfunctional family though.

[austin heart]

Only child and neither parent drinks.

[loricatus]

First born of 4, dysfunction family-yes, foodaholic parent but no alcohol

[banditrn]

Originally Posted by SmilingBluEyes

Yea, I have finally come to the conclusion they are sick and were making me sick, in the process. I was depressed and always fearful of the next nasty email or phone call from home, criticizing me for some stupid thing or another. My mother has become a bitter, mean, (young) old woman at just 60. Somebody I want to spend ZERO time with anymore.

So after her last cruel phone conversation with me, I cut her off. That was 2 years ago. And I feel soooooo sooo much better.

She was sucking the joy out of my life and marriage. Since leaving them behind (my parents), my dh and my marriage is better, more peaceful and joyful. Like you said, he is my family really, and has been for over 18 years. I am lucky and finally get that enjoying life is what I was put on earth to do!

I am not alcoholic, nor is my dh, thankfully, and I HOPE the relationship with my kids turns out much better than the one w/my parents and me. It's hard, cause both want to know why we never see gramma and grampa on that side. The teen understands, but the little one, not.


The holidays are better, too. I don't go home, don't call, dont' have to hear my parent's sharp words or often-drunkeness during the holidays. Yes, I am sad in a way----family is what it's all about. But we have two kinds of family: the one we are born with, and the one we MAKE. I choose the one I made.

AH well glad to know I have a kindred soul out there who gets it.

deb

Aw, bless you, sweetie - sorry you had to go thru all that! I had to do that with my mother for awhile when my kids were young - I just didn't want them around it.
She finally came around - I guess my finally standing up to her after all those years was a shock to her system - and understood that if she wanted to drink, she wasn't to do it around me or my family, and she never did again.

Not all situations turn out that well, and she's gone now, but you have to do what works for you.

[Chaoticdreams33]

1st born, but no alcoholism

[Victoriakem]

Ooo, this is a bit creepy, as I'm first born, Dad is ETOH'r, Mom is depressed but I got into nursing as a second career. My dh is a retired Navy Officer, & a survey done informally while he was on board ship revealed that all the officers there were either first born or only children. He's an only child.